Is the Devil Actually in the Details?

I am a total grammar nerd.?

I stop myself in mid-sentence to correct any grammatical error I may have already made or that I see coming at the end of the sentence. I live in fear of using incorrect pronouns (“Between you and I…”), the wrong word (there vs. their vs. they’re) and of the Dreaded Dangling Preposition! (Examples include, “Whose car are you riding in?,” “Which tree is it under?”, or the very common “Where’s he at?”)

I cannot rest with spotting my own real or potential grammatical errors, of course. I notice everyone else’s as well. I am much better about keeping quiet about it than in years past, though my (grown) kids would disagree!

Is this ridiculous? Absolutely. The substance of what we say or write is much more important than how we do so. Not all the examples above are even universally considered to be errors. Good grammar is NOT a core value, nor should it be.?

However, I do catch myself going deeply into default listening and creating limiting perceptions of others when they use bad grammar, which comes at a cost to me. How does that work? Let’s take my perceptions of someone with poor grammar we’ll call George through the same analysis which I and other Momentum consultants use with our clients:

• My limiting perception: George is uneducated and/or does not read.
• My underlying emotion: I feel annoyed and maybe even dismissive.
• How I compensate: I disengage if possible and judge madly.
• What it costs me: I miss out on any meaningful relationship with or learning from George.

The goals I have set for myself include paying attention to the details but not making judgments. I’m working on it….

The challenge for all of us is that we do judge others based on small or superficial details such as grammar errors, habits, behaviors and appearance. Though some of us work hard to get past or de-prioritize those judgments and assumptions, most people do not.

Details such as spelling and grammar do matter to many people and running a spell check on an email or document takes less than a minute. I’ve recently been reminded of the importance of reading my email/text communications from the viewpoint of the recipient prior to hitting “SEND.”? One extra minute taken then would have saved considerable time cleaning up the damage!

Though seemingly contradictory, both these quotes ring true:

“The excellence is in the details.”

~ George L. Sullivan

“The devil is in the details.”

(anonymous proverb)

~ Tracey