Developing Your Taste for Community

?? Hello, Community Lens readers!

Let’s talk about taste. You may be familiar with taste for food, fashion, or technology. Do you have taste for community? Do you want to develop taste for community? I invite you to read on if so.

It’s not easy to develop your taste for community; it may not be a linear clear-cut journey, but I believe, eventually, you will be amazed that you get the opportunity to do this. You will feel powerful and bright when you can say with conviction that you understand your taste for community, that you know how to characterize it, and that you know your preferences for nuance and depth. The word discernment will feel clear to you. You will differentiate between all the events, group chats and peer groups out there because you will know what a true community is based on your genuine aspirations and priorities.

Quality Time

First, it’s important to think about a great, nonrenewable, and rare asset you have: time. Connecting how you think about time and how you think about taste will help you identify and evaluate the communities that matter to you. Deciding what you value and what counts as quality time takes time.

Next comes introspection about your definition of quality as you consider the experiences, education, and cultural norms you grew up with. We may have inherited ideas of quality from the invisible corporate ladders and other social constructions that surround us. It takes effort to un-learn these ideas and define new norms, if you want. Does a quality community need to focus solely on how many members hold C-Suite titles? When might quality actually relate better to “emerging” talent or “underestimated” talent?

In parallel to defining quality, it is critical to recognize that your definition of quality is dynamic as you evolve across new jobs, titles, and perspectives in your career. If you switch industries or transition from an Individual Contributor to a People Manager role, quality might shift to focus on learning something new and gaining fluency or proficiency quickly, possibly from someone different than you in age and pedigree. This can be a humbling experience. A humbling experience can initially feel uncomfortable. Are you OK with that?

Energy

Developing taste also requires assessing your energy level. Communities are made up of different people who can behave in unexpected ways, from inspiring to exhausting. Consider a spectrum of energy where “refreshed” or “satisfied” is on one end (think: ????), and “stuck” or “overwhelmed” is on the other (think: ????). Examining how you feel and how long you’ve been feeling this way is important. Without judgment, be honest with yourself that your energy level influences your community experience, based on practicing presence. Let’s say you’ve been eager to engage with a community of practitioners and builders to learn about startups. To get started, you’ll likely find a couple events to attend or sign up for a newsletter to stay updated on the community’s activities. If your energy level leans towards the “overwhelmed” side, that’s OK. You can attend a panel and networking event to focus on learning from the content presented, and you can give yourself full permission to gracefully dip out after the panel ends, and then re-connect with the community at another event when your energy level is restored. There will always be another event for networking. By choosing to be present for the panel experience, you are still aligning your intention for joining a startup community to learn, while still allowing connections to develop later.

Style versus Taste

Lastly, trying out various styles of community helps you determine your taste. There is a difference between style and taste. Below are examples of different styles that relate to logistics and modalities. You will learn the “flavors” you like after you’ve considered different ones.

• In-person vs virtual
• Morning vs evening
• Large scale vs intimate
• Open to the public vs invite-only
• Structured vs improvisational
• Panel event with people talking to an audience vs hands-on workshop where everyone in the audience builds and creates something

Sometimes these styles of community are one-time, ephemeral events. They may have "community" in their title, but it’s up to you to determine what that means, and whether a specific quality of community truly exists. The world is full of industry happy hours, employee engagement initiatives and huge conferences that seem like they’ll be enjoyable when you sign up. But then it feels odd when they turn out to be too crowded, too clique-y or too loud to appreciate the company you’re with! We're conditioned to believe these gatherings are normal, even when they may not be comfortable spaces for people to remember names and keep in touch afterward. On the flip side, maybe you define quality as "escape"; therefore, a crowded, clique-y or loud gathering may align with your definition of quality if you’re trying to physically get away from a packed schedule of back-to-back Zooms that seem to never end.

How To Discern

As you realize your style preferences, it’s easier to seek communities where people interact in engaging and fulfilling ways for you. Then, you can focus on developing your taste around quality and how you want to spend your time with purpose. Here are 3 prompts that can help you develop your taste for community:

1. Consider your current state of taste. Are you strongly inclined to say no to certain community invitations or opportunities because you already know what's a fit for your taste?
2. Consider what you love in a category outside of community. For example, get specific in the realms of food, fashion or technology. Does your taste in those areas give you a sense of what you like for community?
3. Find other people who are on a journey to develop their taste in community and share what you’re learning. Do you know other people who are share similar curiosity about connecting taste to learning and growing, individually and collectively?

There are no right or wrong answers to the prompts above. I offer them as thought exercises to “do the work” of developing taste. When you can look back on a community experience and think, "That was quality time," that's a clear marker of abundance in your life. It means you were around ideas, people, and resources that positively impacted you. Quality time with communities that matter to you, professionally and personally, helps you remember you have taste for community.

Sincerely,

Amy Chen

PS - ???? Journaling is one of my favorite ways to reflect on taste. Yes, sometimes I use my phone, but I really appreciate pen and paper for this. You can write thoughts down in a journal or you can tape in any community momentos (e.g. nametag sticker from attending an event) or doodle about something quirky that happened at a community event. These little tidbits in your journal become fodder for you to consider quality memories along your journey of developing taste.

__

?? Thank you to my friend Laura Barker who helped me think through this piece before publishing. Laura is an expert in technology business strategy and innovation. In addition, Laura believes pops of spirituality and psychology in the mix of work/life is refreshing! ?