Developing Your Curiosity

One way of being that has long been seen to support coaches and coaching is “curiosity”.

Although this way of being is far from unique to coaching, it is very different to how most adults approach the world, most of the time.

Adults in conversation (unlike young children) tend to approach the world with a propensity to “seek to know/understand or solve”, so that they can use that information and move on.

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By way of contrast, “curiosity” involves exploring for its own sake, the exploration becomes an end in itself.

Very often, the distinction between a ‘ho-hum’ coaching conversation and a powerful coaching conversation is the ability of the coach to demonstrate genuine curiosity.

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How then can coaches develop their “curiosity muscle”?

A practice that I use in my own continued development is engaging in conversation with people who are passionate about a subject of which I have basically no knowledge and no desire to adopt.

I have had 2 of these conversations recently and my experience in both cases has been intensely liberating, enlightening and just plain fun.

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One conversation involved motorbikes and the other involved diving.

If I was late for a Bob Dylan concert or he was playing a concert under water, then I might be interested in these subjects, but in the absence of those factors, I have no interest in them whatsoever.

When I want to develop my "curiosity muscle", it is precisely this lack of interest in the subject that is very helpful, because I have no prior history to compare what is being said with my own experience, and I have no desire to become better at, or more knowledgeable about, the subject at hand.

With no ability to refer to my past and no interest in using what is being said in my future, it becomes far easier for me to remain in the present.

Consequently, my interest shifts away from the subject being discussed and towards the person talking about the subject. Another way to express this is to say that the focus of my interaction shifts from content to context.

This shift is one of the most fundamental aspects of coaching and coach development.