Developing Vulnerability as a Leader
A little while back, a couple of the managers on the sales team here at CarGurus interviewed someone, who if selected, would be their boss. This was a pretty senior sales leader. Many of our questions during the panel interview to this point had been tactical - how would you do this, why have you done that, etc. The career experience was outstanding, but we had some questions as to how that experience would align with CarGurus' culture. Like every fast-growing tech company, we have our quirks and slightly unique way of doing things. So true cultural fit, or more importantly, being additive to our culture, is crucial to one's ability to succeed here.
Halfway through the meeting, one of the managers asked what turned out to be a very powerful closed-ended question: "Do you believe a leader should show vulnerability to their team?" The candidate considered the question for a few seconds with eyes fixated on the conference table. The individual then raised their head and answered with conviction: "No." Now, technically, there is no right answer. Different strokes for different folks. But the answer brought us to a clear fork in the road. The candidate chose one path while we, very deliberately, have chosen another as a part of our selection criteria. Vulnerability humanizes leadership and is something we desperately want on the sales floor here. In spite of the great experience, extensive career awards, and spotless resume, we detected a cultural mis-match. We decided to pass.
There was a TED talk given in 2010 by a sociological researcher named Brené Brown. The subject of her talk was The Power of Vulnerability. In her talk she says, "In order for connections to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen." We need to "have the courage to be imperfect." In other words, to be vulnerable is to open yourself in a way that exposes your core. It's your most authentic self. Without it, we lack conviction, believability, and trustworthiness.
How does this relate to leadership? Well, quite a bit. And even as a leader who's conscious of the importance of vulnerability, it's something I struggle to truly uncage on a daily basis. It's uncomfortable. It makes me insecure. I know I will be judged, there will be whispers, and my methods will be questioned. But guess what, that's part of it. It's what I signed up for. That fear of judgment is what often paralyzes us from sharing too much. But when you do have a chance to share - man - it can be incredibly liberating. Most importantly, it humanizes you to your team and gives them a level of access that is often artificially obscured by titles and corporate hierarchies.
That's why I wanted to write about developing my own vulnerability as a leader. After our annual review process concluded in January, and for the first time in my career, I chose to share the 360 feedback I received from colleagues during a weekly stand-up with each of the 25 managers on the sales and service team here at CarGurus. Why? I wanted them to see that I am very much a work in progress. I suck at a bunch of things. I'm continuing to learn, iterate, and improve as much as possible. I am looking for direct feedback as to what I can do better on their behalf. I need to be more approachable as a leader and give everyone the unbiased forum to provide unfiltered feedback. An most importantly, I need them to hold me accountable to actually making those improvements. It's easy to write down. It's hard to execute.
To be truly vulnerable requires help from those around you. I need my teammates to call me out when I haven't communicated well. Or be willing to sit down and ask for help from others when I need it. It requires saying "I don't know" if...well...I really don't know. It requires spending time with people 1:1 and getting to know more about what makes them tick. It necessitates giving a shit. And I mean genuinely giving a shit. It's hard, and time consuming, and challenging. And, in my opinion, is absolutely the most magnetic, loyal quality a leader can display. Without vulnerability, you're not a leader. You're a common manager. And common managers are...well...common.
We're all a work in progress. The least we can do is be honest about it and open ourselves up to the feedback required to truly grow as leaders. Vulnerability is a strength. Let's all get better at showing it with our teams.
"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength." - Criss Jami
Growth Expert Helping People & Companies Grow | 4X Global C-Suite Exec | Executive Coach/Adviser/Mentor | Ex-Google
6 年Very well articulated, Josh. Thanks for sharing this.
Builder & Operator. VP, SJC Media.
6 年"Without vulnerability, you're not a leader."
Founder at Jiminny ~ Mum ?? ~ Lego lover ?? ~ Sales is my thing ???? ~ Disney is my happy place ??
6 年I love what you did in sharing your 360 feedback with the team, we read so much about this stuff but its nice to read examples of how you're putting it into practice..thanks for sharing!
Great post Josh- embracing vulnerability is the difference between management and leadership.
Accounting Supervisor at S. G. Torrice
6 年Excellent article, Josh!