Developing Trust

Hello and Good Day!

In many relationships, both personal and professional, we have to build trust and understanding between multiple parties in order to achieve the goals we wish to accomplish. In the professional world, this can be related to manager-employee relationships and peer-to-peer relationships. In your personal lives, this can be relationships with your parents, siblings, significant other and your faith. In order to understand the differences between the two, let me bring up a few points for you to ponder and respond to this post. 

Do you ever say to yourself, "they just don't understand me,"  as a means to explain a particular situation? This comes from not opening yourself up to those around you in order for them to see who you really are. Yes, this is scary to do especially in the professional world because you want to maintain a business relationship with them. But think about this...how will your manager know that when you're having a rough day, you tend to "tune out" and become a drone at work? If they know a little about you and your personal lives, they will be able to confront you with professionalism but also care for your well-being. This is pertinent to bringing each employee's personal best work ethic to the office so that they can perform optimally. And in personal relationships, many marriages and dating relationships fail because one side of the party believes that the other does not care for them the way they do for the other person. Well, have you let them completely into your lives so that they can tune-in to your emotions and physical interactions with them? Have you told them that you tend to get quiet when things are bothering you and you are not deliberately ignoring them? Have you told them when you are excited or extremely happy that you get touchy and want to embrace those around you? These questions are the things you need to discuss with your partner so that you both can relate to one another when these emotions are present.

Being present...yogis preach this to our students so that they understand that we are not trying to fix your past or prepare you for your future during your practice, but simply teaching you to be present in the NOW. This also correlates back to your day-to-day lives both at work and at home. At work, being in the present means making sure you have an agenda set for your daily priorities so that you can be the most productive person that day. Sometimes those priorities entail things like forecasting, budgeting, or comparing your prior quarter/year performance as a company. Yes, these things are looking at comparisons from your past and preparation for unforeseen circumstances, but you do these things NOW so being present is essential! In your personal relationships, being present means listening to your partner when they are talking with you and learning not to make recommendations or changes to their lives, but simply acknowledging that you are there with them. Most women (and men) are not looking for you to make decisions for them when you are having discussions, but looking for you to listen to them. 80% of the time, they will most likely answer there own questions by speaking their opinions out loud. Being present is the most important thing to keep in the forefront of your mind because it can prevent you from unnecessary worrying and stress that you have no control over. 

Developing trust is not a quick nor easy thing to do with another person, but it is vital to keeping your relationships in sync. People will make errors and bad decisions, but it is better to trust someone who makes mistakes and learns how to correct them than someone who is never in doubt or willing to take the risk. Please respond if you feel you have additional input or stories that have helped you with developing trust because this is an open thread for learning more about those around us. I will finish this post with a quote,

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." (Ernest Hemingway)

Namaste.