Developing Discipline In Your Life
Learning to effectively lead yourself and others all comes down to discipline. Happiness, success, and fulfillment stem from focus and self-control. It may be hard to believe when you’re facing an all-you-can-eat buffet, the prospect of making a quick buck, or the lazy lure of sleeping in versus getting on the Peloton, but studies show that people with self-discipline are happier. Why? Because with discipline and self-control we actually accomplish more of the goals we truly care about. Self-discipline is the bridge between goals defined and goals accomplished.
STEP 1: Know your strengths and weaknesses.
We all have weaknesses. Whether they’re the desire for alcohol, tobacco, unhealthy food, obsession over social media, or the video game Fortnite (what the heck is with this game by the way?!), they have a similar effect on us. Weaknesses don’t just come in the form of areas where we lack self-control either. We all have our strong suits and the stuff we kind of stink at. For example, I don’t care for having difficult conversations, lengthy paperwork that involves digging up old documents I never saved in the first place, holding my temper when someone is shooting at me, or calling into automated phone systems. And therefore, I used to actively (or purposefully) avoid these activities. Now, I strive to tackle them head-on—or I delegate them to others. (Never forget about the subtle art of delegation!)
STEP 2: Remove temptations.
“I can resist anything except temptation.” ~ OSCAR WILDE
Like the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” It may seem silly, but this phrase offers powerful advice. By simply removing the biggest temptations from your environment, you will greatly improve your self-discipline. When I decided I was going to pursue the lofty goal of becoming a SEAL, everything in my life had to change. If you want to eat healthier, toss the junk food in the trash. Want to drink less? Throw out the booze. If you want to enhance your productivity at work, improve the management of your To-Do’s, turn off social media notifications and silence your cell phone. Prioritise and execute.
The fewer distractions you have, the more focused you will be on accomplishing your goals. Set yourself up for success by ditching bad influences.
STEP 3: Set clear goals and have an execution plan.
If you hope to achieve greater degrees of self-discipline, you must have a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish, just like any goal. You must also have an understanding of what success means to you. After all, if you don’t know where you are going, it’s easy to lose your way or get sidetracked. Remember to prioritize.
A clear plan outlines each time-bound step you must take to reach your goals. Create a mantra to keep yourself focused. Successful people use this technique to stay on track, emotionally connect to their mission, and establish a clear finish line.
STEP 4: Practice daily diligence.
We aren’t born with self-discipline; it’s a learned behaviour. And just like any other skill you want to master, it requires daily practice and repetition. It must become habitual. But the effort and focus that self-discipline requires can be draining. As time passes, it can become more and more difficult to keep your willpower in check. The bigger the temptation or decision, the more challenging it can feel to tackle other tasks that also require self-control.
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So, work on building your self-discipline through daily diligence in a given area associated with a goal. This goes back to step three. In order to practice daily diligence, you must have a plan. Put it on your calendar, your to-do list, tattoo it on the back of your eyelids - whatever works best for you. With practice, anyone can push the boundaries of their comfort zone every day.
STEP 5: Create new habits and rituals.
Acquiring self-discipline and working to instill a new habit can feel daunting at first, especially if you focus on the entire task at hand. To avoid feeling intimidated, keep it simple. Break your goal into small, doable steps. Instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on doing one thing consistently and master self-discipline with that goal in mind.
If you’re trying to get in shape but don’t exercise regularly (or ever), start by working out ten or fifteen minutes a day. If you’re trying to achieve better sleep habits, start by going to bed thirty minutes earlier each night. If you want to eat healthier, change your grocery shopping habits and prep meals ahead of time. Take baby steps. Eventually, when your mindset and behavior starts to shift, you can add more goals to your list.
STEP 6: Find trusted coaches or mentors.
The development of expertise requires coaches who are capable of giving constructive, even painful, feedback. Real experts are extremely motivated students who seek out such feedback. They’re also skilled at understanding when and if a coach or mentor’s advice doesn’t work for them.
The elite performers I’ve known and worked with always knew what they were doing right while concentrating on what they were doing wrong. They deliberately picked unsentimental coaches who would challenge them and drive them to higher levels of performance. The best coaches also identify aspects of your performance that will need to be improved at your next level of skill and aid you in preparation.
STEP 7: Forgive yourself and move forward.
Even with all our best intentions and well laid plans, we sometimes fall short. It happens. You will have ups and downs, great successes and dismal failures. The key is to keep going.
If you stumble, find the root cause by asking the five WHY’s and move on. Don’t let yourself get wrapped up in guilt, anger, or frustration, because these emotions will only drag you further down and impede future progress.