Develop 'Won't Power' to Forge Tenacity

I made it through Halloween this year without even one Reece's Peanut Butter Cup! You know how hard that is. When I was a kid, I used to count them in my trick or treat bag and ration them. Of course, my brother and sister would then steal them, and I lost out altogether! The amount of time wasted was ridulous, now that I am reflecting on this. It got me to thinking about which would have been easier: having the willpower to say no to one. Or, have the won't power to have one tomorrow, but not on Halloween?

When it comes to building tenacity, it's not just about having the will to push forward, but also the 'won't' to pull back when necessary. Understanding the concept of 'Won't Power' is essential for effective leadership as well as self-mastery of your health. What I've found with coaching leaders over my career is that having private victories with your health will lead to public victories with your life.

?Understanding 'Won't Power' vs. 'Will Power'

'Won't Power' is the strength to say no, to set boundaries, and to recognize what doesn't serve our long-term goals. In contrast, 'Will Power' drives us to take action and say yes to the challenges that propel us forward. Both are critical, but the former is often overshadowed by the latter. It's driven by the voice in our head. Our internal dialogue we have with ourselves.

Take Anna's case, for instance. As a C-suite executive in a Fortune 500 company, her day was a series of yeses—yes to overtime, yes to extra projects, yes to every demand. Her inner critic, the Harmony Enthusiast, had her seeking constant acceptance and affection with the least amount of friction possible, even at the expense of her own needs. It wasn't until she hit burnout that she learned the might of 'Won't Power'. It gave her the space to breathe, to reassess, and to realign her actions with her values.

Our inner critics, those voices that cast doubt and criticism, often stem from fear—the fear of not being enough or the fear of what might happen if we truly shine. It's essential to understand these voices to master 'Won't Power'.

The Hidden Costs of the Perfectionist Maestro

The Perfectionist Maestro, one of the most commanding inner critics, pushes us towards an unattainable ideal, whispering that perfection is the only path to worthiness.

?Sarah, a corporate lawyer, grappled with the Perfectionist Maestro, her inner critic that thrived on flawless execution. It wasn't until I coached her to empower her 'Won't Power'—to refuse the unnecessary perfection in every task—that she found her stride. The Perfectionist Maestro kept her isolated because she refused to seek help. Once she reached out, a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders?

This critic can drive us into isolation, convincing us that asking for help is a sign of weakness, a belief that can be detrimental in leadership and personal growth. It feeds the fear of vulnerability, making us believe that to show our true selves is to open the door to judgment and failure. Perfectionism, while often seen as a valuable trait, can create unrealistic expectations, setting us up for constant disappointment and stress. Under this critic's rule, the pressure to maintain control becomes a barrier to genuine connections and can lead to burnout.

Building 'Won't Power' for Effective Leadership (and weight loss, too!)

To counteract the Perfectionist Maestro, we must develop 'Won't Power', which starts with embracing imperfection as a natural part of the human experience.

Accepting that flaws are not failures but opportunities for growth is the first step towards silencing the inner critic. Learning to delegate not only lightens the load but also empowers others, fostering a supportive and collaborative environment. Finding who, not what, to do, will transform your business. Setting clear boundaries is a form of self-respect and a declaration that we won't allow our worth to be dictated by external validation.

Each inner critic requires a unique approach to be silenced effectively.

?Counter the Faceless Judge by affirming your value and refusing to let anonymous opinions shape your self-esteem.

Here's some tips for the countering the inner critics:

Overcoming the inner critics is about recognizing their whispers and transforming them into empowering statements. Here are ways to confront and silence each one:

Faceless Judge:

Inner Critic Whisper: "You're not making the right choices."

Overcoming: "I trust my decision-making skills and learn from every experience."

Comfort Seeker:

Inner Critic Whisper: "It's too hard to change. Just stay where you are."

Overcoming: "Every step outside my comfort zone is a step towards learning and growth."

Detail Deacon:

Inner Critic Whisper: "If you miss one detail, everything will fall apart."

Overcoming: "Attention to detail is important, but perfection is not the goal. Progress is."

Vigilant Victim:

Inner Critic Whisper: "Why does this always happen to me?"

Overcoming: "I am resilient and capable of overcoming challenges."

Harmony Enthusiast:

Inner Critic Whisper: "Don’t speak up; you’ll disrupt the peace."

Overcoming: "My voice adds value and I can express myself while still maintaining harmony."

Logic Mastermind:

Inner Critic Whisper: "If it's not logical, it's not worth considering."

Overcoming: "Emotions are as important as logic and I honor both in my decisions."

Overdrive Samurai:

Inner Critic Whisper: "If you're not constantly working, you're failing."

Overcoming: "Rest and rejuvenation are vital for my long-term success and well-being."

Perfectionist Maestro:

Inner Critic Whisper: "It's not perfect. You need to fix it before anyone sees."

Overcoming: "Done is better than perfect. My work has value as it is."

Wanderlust Adventurer:

Inner Critic Whisper: "Why settle down? You might miss out on something better."

Overcoming: "I find joy in the present moment and trust the path I’m on."

Watchful Guardian:

Inner Critic Whisper: "Don’t take risks; it’s too dangerous."

Overcoming: "Calculated risks lead to growth. I can handle the outcomes."

Recognizing these inner critics is the first step towards silencing them. By reframing their messages, you empower yourself to live with confidence and intention. It’s not about ignoring these parts of ourselves but rather transforming their energy into something constructive.

Remember, every leader has these critics. The key to success is not letting them hold the microphone. Take it back and amplify your truth. ??

?To cultivate 'Won't Power', mindset shifts are necessary to move past the limitations set by inner critics.

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#InnerStrength #TransformTheCritics #LeadWithConfidence

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