Determining What Constitutes a Break

Dr. Zan’s Thoughts:

For most public elementary and high schools in my area, we are currently in the midst of the week that marks the much anticipated and celebrated tradition of spring break. For many students, this significant respite from the intensity of their studies and extra-curricular demands provides the gift of relaxation and travel, or at the very least a shift in well-established routines. Now, given that our routines have been seriously compromised by the Covid-19 crisis in our local and global communities, we must redefine what it means to refresh ourselves, to seek food for our souls, to take a break. We must even reconsider what we require the “break” from. And we must certainly ask ourselves what this break might look like.

One of the gifts I have offered myself during this time of remaining at home is to engage with a 21 day guided meditation experience provided by Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra. This journey has been one designed to instill deep and abiding hope, not the variety that is wistful and lacking in intention. For me, it has been a beautiful opportunity to allow myself to be guided by others, given that I often lead mindfulness exercises. In one of the recent meditations in this series, I was particularly struck by the notion that forgiveness can only occur when we fully release the conviction that the past should have been something other than what it has been. I know that I have heard this idea before, but at this moment in time, I was blown away by its simplicity and profoundness. Therefore, the wish to rewrite my past now rises to the top of my list of what I’m going to take a break from:

Today I am choosing to take a break from should have beens. I choose to trust that my journey has been what it has needed to be and that it has allowed me to arrive in this present moment. All of my past experiences have led me to now, and I am here to embrace this moment as it is. At every point in my life, I have made the best decisions that I could, given my knowledge, sensibilities, and capacities at the time. I have done my best. Others, too, have offered their best at the time.

Today I am choosing to take a break from being or feeling the need to be the best. Instead, I can just be. Acknowledging “my best” is very distinct from feeling the need to be “the best.” I need to hold onto this important distinction. Superlatives can result in pressure rather than support. They ring of exclusion rather than connection.

Today I am choosing to take a break from constant comparison. My life is my own and has its own unique process of unfolding. Comparing my journey to that of another has no real validity. Each of us must find our own path, and it is my prayer that we all find our way to connection and wholeness.

Today I am choosing to take a break from planning. My compulsive urge to plan for the future-- whether it be for smaller moments like fun leisure activities or more weighty responsibilities like career, financial security, and caregiving--holds little relevance at this moment. I must find meaning in this moment as if it is all that I have.

Today I am choosing to take a break from fanning my fear. These are anxious times, and each time I look to any media source, I am met with dire news. It is okay to monitor and limit my own intake as well as that of the next generation in my household. I can also choose when and whether to join group meetings that are focused on the daunting nature of the issues that surround us. I accept that I can only make choices about the issues that are in front of me right now, step by step.

Today I am choosing to take a break from pretending. I do not need to be pulled together and positive and light-hearted at every moment. I can and may laugh at one moment and cry the next. Such is the nature of my humanity, and such is the task of keeping it real.

This is what my spring break is going to look like. I invite you to borrow from this list or to contemplate and discover what your unique needs may be--right here, right now. You may not have exotic travels to report, but oh what a journey of discovery you can embrace!

Dr. Nadine’s Reflections:

Unlike the elementary and high schools, higher education - in which I’m immersed - seems to dictate its own regulations. “Breaks” are not necessarily tied to holidays or other meaningful celebrations. Breaks are simply designated times to disengage from the routine of schedules and classes and obligations.

The need to disengage is reason enough to take a break, I think. In this COVID culture, the need to separate ourselves from the environment transcends physical distancing. It can be to extricate ourselves from all those demands on our time and attention. It can be about disconnecting from the external world and reconnecting to the internal landscape of our lives -- our souls. It can be about pulling back from the ordinary, to open ourselves to the extraordinary that surrounds us all the time, but which is masked by our daily distractions.

Only you know from what you need liberation; I suspect you’ve already had an awareness of it. Please know that Dr. Zan and I are committed to unhooking periodically from the yokes we wear, and encourage you to do the same. The Easter and Passover seasons are a perfect time to consider your freedom; in both of those traditions, we acknowledge the gift of liberty we’ve been offered. Accept that gift by giving yourself a quiet moment of reflection and gratitude. Join us on the journey of self-discovery with all our love and support as your traveling companions.

”When you are present in this moment, you break the continuity of your story, of past and future. Then true intelligence arises, and also love.”

—Eckhart Tolle

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