Determined
Michelle Valiukenas
Founder & Executive Director | Nonprofit Leader & Advocate in Family Services | Infertility Warrior & Grief Support Specialist | Storyteller & Activist | Recovering Attorney & Mom to 2 Angel Babies and 1 Rainbow Baby
Determined. Driven. Determination. Drive. We've heard these words a million times, but what do they really mean? I will be honest that a few years ago, I had gotten tired of hearing the words. They felt like buzzwords that we used that didn't really matter, that just filled space.
Then, the doctors told me that I had preeclampsia and that I was being admitted into the hospital until I delivered. Of course, this happened when I was just shy of 22 weeks and so we had not reached viability.
If they would have told me that I needed to stand on my head six hours a day, I would have done it.
I became utterly determined and driven to stay in the hospital as long as I possibly could. I placed a calendar on my wall and checked off each day. I didn't complain about being there because I knew I needed to be there. As each doctor came through to check on me, I asked them what I could be doing. If they would have told me that I needed to stand on my head six hours a day, I would have done it. I was determined to get past viability at 24 weeks and then as long as I possibly could.
We got past 24 weeks, with me in the hospital for 16 days before the doctors recommended delivery. When they recommended it, the doctor said to us, "I will be honest, when we looked at your case when you were first admitted, we all said we would be shocked if you made it one week before we had to deliver." I had made it for 16 days.
The doctor said to us, "I will be honest, when we looked at your case when you were first admitted, we all said we would be shocked if you made it one week before we had to deliver." I had made it for 16 days.
In the delivery prep and as we got into the room, we were cautioned so much about how Colette was too young to cry upon delivery and that we shouldn't be surprised for it to be quiet when she was delivered. But, they did not know my daughter. Colette was so incredibly determined and a real badass. Upon coming out, the doctors announced that it was a girl and then there was this tiny, but loud squeak that came out in the room. I remember saying "is that her?" Someone said yeah, that was your daughter and the doctors and nurses all said how amazed they were that she had made any sound at all.
We were cautioned so much about how Colette was too young to cry upon delivery and that we shouldn't be surprised for it to be quiet when she was delivered. But, they did not know my daughter. Colette was so incredibly determined and a real badass.
Colette continued to amaze us. She fought hard despite her tiny size and her underdeveloped lungs. She had a spirit that radiated determination and fight and although she was so tiny, she fought for nine days longer than I imagine we would have ever had if it had not been for that incredible spirit, the fight that was buried so deep inside.
She had a spirit that radiated determination and fight and although she was so tiny, she fought for nine days longer than I imagine we would have ever had if it had not been for that incredible spirit, the fight that was buried so deep inside.
That fight is one that I try to live on every single day, to continue commemorating Colette, to making her life mean something, and of giving back to families who need help that we are able to give. It is the same determination that I see from the families we serve and the stories we hear. That is why determined is one of our principles and tenets.
To read more about the work we do, please visit our website at www.colettelouise.com.