detaching from outcomes

I’ve read about and understand the importance of detaching our emotions from outcomes, especially when we don’t have any control over the end result.

Reading about and understanding is one thing. Doing it is another.

One of the obstacles that has made it harder for me to detach my emotions from outcomes is my belief in the law of attraction—I need to envision the outcome I want for it to be possible. It’s hard for me to separate my emotions from the vision of what I want to see become my reality, so the emotions stay with me, and sometimes, excitement turns into frustration, impatience, or doubt.

I finally realized, and it happened yesterday, that I can still have the vision, the desire, and excitement for the outcome I am pursuing, but once I have done my part, the outcome will be what it will be—I cannot control it, and therefore I shouldn’t spend a lot of energy on worrying about what will happen.

It might be easier to share an example—the example where it all clicked for me.

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend who is an advisor about the outsourced life planning I am offering to help advisors provide life planning to their clients when they don’t need a full-time life planner on staff. He is in a leadership role at a larger firm, and we were discussing what it would look like for the firms under his company’s umbrella to collaborate with me to bring life planning to their clients when it makes sense for their clients. Naturally, the idea of having multiple firms who might call on me to do life planning had (and still has) me excited about the opportunity—my mind was immediately flooded with ideas of webinars, workshops, and more to educate the advisors on the benefits of life planning when clients might need it, and when it would make sense to bring me in.

With a goal of changing 1,000 lives through life planning, having the opportunity for like-minded advisors to bring life planning opportunities to me so I can work alongside them is a dream. I can keep taking care of RLS Wealth clients, create content to help make more people aware of their authentic lives, and, when needed, join great advisors to do the work I am best at.

Naturally, this type of arrangement has to be approved by leadership and, I’m sure, beta-tested to see how it will work best—the outcome I immediately had in mind is probably 6-9 months away from actually existing. Usually, I’d be fixated on the outcome and wanting to know what it will be, but this time, I’m at peace with trusting that it will be what it will be with or without my obsessing over it.

My friend said he was excited about the idea and that while he loved it, he couldn’t promise anything. I immediately told him that I knew he couldn’t promise anything and he’d do a great job presenting it to the team. We would each do our part, and then we could detach from the outcome because we both knew it was a great idea, an amazing opportunity for their advisors and clients, and the right thing for a firm like theirs to do. Regardless of the outcome, I’d still be his friend.

When I mentioned detaching from the outcome, I immediately noticed that I genuinely meant it. Internally, I had no negative feelings towards the comment—I honestly believed it. This felt really good because I was actually experiencing something I knew to be true but still struggled to do.

So, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing and allow the process to do what it needs to do and one day I’ll get an email that will begin to make this idea real—and if I don’t, at least I have confirmation that there is a need, there’s value in what I want to do, and eventually the right opportunity will present itself.

But that’s out of my control, so I’ll focus on what I can control and leave the outcomes to the Universe.

See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,

JC

?? A few ways I might be able to help you live your authentic life:

?? LifeDesign+ LifeDesign+ is rooted in the Kinder Institute of Life Planning’s EVOKE process, which is a five-step process to help discover what your authentic life looks like and begin to design a plan to bring that life to reality. It continues to incorporate the alignment of your spirit, mind, body, and money to ensure you evolve with your authentic life, as the authentic life is not a destination, it’s an evolution.

?? LifeDesign+ for financial advisors LifeDesign+ for financial advisors mirrors the LifeDesign+ relationship, including the focus on the alignment of spirit, mind, and body, with an important distinction—once the plan for your authentic life has been designed, we shift our focus to integrating your new plan with your practice.

?? Outsourced life planning As your outsourced life planner, you bring me in to take your client through the Kinder Institute of Life Planning’s EVOKE process to help them better understand who they are, what they want their life to look like, and create a vision of this life for you to execute on the financial plan. Since you are their financial advisor, you will be a part of each of the meetings, so you understand the “why” behind your client’s new plan.