Detach yourself from toxic people

We come across toxic people in every path of life.These particular persons have not, been confronted about their behavior, and actions. Not to the point that they are made to “walk a mile in someone else's shoes.” They feel that they have the right to point out their opinions. They want others in their circle to know how intelligent, all knowing they are. They feel that they have the right to be. No one else matters.

Can we say they are typically 'Narcissistic'. The talk is all about “I or me”. Compassion and empathy is a foreign concept. If you will, these individuals are still - a child that has not learned that important lesson of humanity: of sharing, listening, and if you will obeying the simple rules of: wait your turn, that is not yours, etc.

The individuals that I have mentioned have that need to prove “you” wrong. They feel that if they do not like, for example, the song on the radio - they have the right to speak up and say “I don't like that song!” As others are listening and/or singing. What are they expecting to happen, to the statement? Are they shown at a young age, that an adult will change the station. Or have they have been addressed like this “ I understand you don't like the song, but I like it.” The latter answer explains to them that the opinion is heard, but, it's like “a belly button - everyone has one!” It yours and only yours. Not everyone has that particular opinion like they do.

And I'm not implying that it is the parents that teach this. It's whoever is in the circle of this particular life. As a grandparent, I have lots of teaching times. I just so happen to have 5 very stubborn boys: sharing is a concept that is alien, please and thank you- they say it at times and then forget. Anyway, the gist is that for everything you do positive or negative but there just so happens to be a consequence. It it will be negative or positive. I'm using the above analogies because the toxic members of our society have not learned this very important lesson. Just like others prior to me have stated - my way or the highway.

Those toxic individuals are just like you and me: they put their pants on one leg at a time. their body and/or mind has got nothing that we do not have. So what does this mean we give them the power (if you will) over us. Think about this : a baby elephant is born in a circus. When he gets a little bigger he gets a leg cuff with a strong link chain linked to a post. It stops him from venturing too far from where his cage is. Each time he walks away, he can only go as far as the chain allows. 2 to 3 years later, the cuff, and heavy chain is replaced by a thin necklace which is then tied to the same post. He can break it with just one step but, he's been conditioned, trained.

In summary, toxic people have not been corrected, admonished, trained that they are not the top dog. It's not their way or the highway and that the world does not owe them anything. They are not the controller. They are to earn respect, not demand it, verbally yell for it or throw a crazy fit for it. We are to help them learn this. Toxic people can be loved at a distance until they learn common courtesy, and putting themselves in others shoes.

The only way to deal with toxic people is to stand up, walk up to them (literally and figuratively), and calmly tell them to stay the thing away from you. It might be easier in some cases than others. And might need to be handled in different ways depending on the person, your degree of closeness with them, and/or the nature of your relationship.

People irritate you on social media? Block and move on. You don't even need to engage with them or provide an explanation. Know someone in your social circle who puts you off with their incessant complaining, gossip-mongering, or constant one-ups? Tell them that such conversations do not interest you. Stop reacting to what they say. Set personal boundaries. Enforce them stringently. If they regularly call you up at weird times, tell them to stop.

Being bullied by someone either physically or emotionally? Fight back. Most bullies continue to do so because no one hits back. Lack of any retort encourages them. But the moment you stand your ground and show them that you are not afraid of them, most of them will back off. Cheers!