Detach to Attach: Embracing Abandonment

Hello Soul Path community,

Abandonment. It’s a heavy word, isn’t it?

I’ve felt it too—when a relationship ended unexpectedly, when a job I poured my heart into slipped through my fingers, or when a place that once felt like home became just a memory. Each of those experiences cut deeply, leaving me questioning,?Why did this have to happen?

But over time, I began to wonder: what if abandonment isn’t what we think it is? What if those painful endings hold a deeper purpose? What if, instead of simply being about loss, they’re about growth?

In life, people, places, jobs, and experiences inevitably come and go. And yes, these transitions often leave us feeling empty or lost. We’ve all been there: a friend drifts away, a job ends, or a beloved place fades into the past. It hurts, and naturally, we grieve. But I’ve come to believe that each of these goodbyes carries a gift—an opportunity to uncover something essential about ourselves, something we might not have seen otherwise.

Here is a new perspective to think about: "What if detachment happens so we can attach to the most important being... ourselves?"

Every Relationship, Every Place, Every Job is a Mirror

Think of it this way: everyone and everything in our lives serves as a mirror, reflecting back parts of ourselves we might overlook. Each person, job, or experience reveals something about who we are, what we need, and what we’re growing into. And often, when they leave, it’s because their purpose in our lives has been fulfilled.

This is especially true in our careers. When we’re let go from a role, or when we feel the urge to move on, it’s easy to interpret these transitions as failure or loss. But perhaps these shifts are signaling that we’re ready for a new challenge or calling. Just like people, jobs enter our lives for a reason—and they often leave for one, too.

Grief as a Passageway to Self-Discovery

Grief is a journey—a messy, beautiful, painful one. When someone or something leaves, our grief isn’t just about sadness; it’s how we make sense of the shift. It’s our minds and hearts processing why something that felt so right is suddenly gone.

In career transitions, too, there’s often a grieving process. Leaving a role we loved or losing a job unexpectedly can feel like a personal loss. But what if, instead of rushing through that grief, we allowed it to be a passageway—a bridge from what was to what could be? If we let ourselves fully experience the grief, we might start to see these transitions differently. Maybe they’re doors to new beginnings, invitations to explore our strengths and uncover what truly fulfills us.

The Universe’s Secret Plan: It’s All Working for Us

Here’s an idea that’s both comforting and challenging: what if the universe is actually on our side, even when it doesn’t feel like it? Every ending, every “goodbye”—whether it’s a person, a place, or a job—is part of a larger design, nudging us toward growth. Think back to a time when things didn’t go your way. How often, looking back, can you see how those moments actually led you to something better?

When people, roles, or experiences leave, maybe it’s the universe’s way of saying, “It’s time to return to yourself.” There’s freedom in that idea, even though it’s hard to grasp in the moment. What if we’re being detached from what no longer serves us so we can reattach to the most important relationship in our lives—the one we have with ourselves?

I know, it's easier said than done. Letting go isn’t easy. We crave connection; we want people, jobs, and experiences to fill us up. But in losing them, we have an opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourselves. As harsh as it may sound, abandonment—whether of a friendship, a role, or a relationship—could actually be an invitation to explore our own hearts and recognize that we’re whole on our own.

When we give ourselves the permission to explore our own hearts, and when we stop looking outside for validation, we start to find it within. We realize we’re capable of holding ourselves up, of nurturing our own growth and needs. That’s where true peace lies—in letting go of our grip on the external and building a fulfilling relationship within.

Moving Beyond Grief: Coming Home to Ourselves

As we navigate the process of letting go—whether from people, jobs, or dreams we once held dear—we slowly come back to ourselves. Each role, person, or experience we once cherished didn’t take a piece of us with them. Instead, they helped us discover parts of ourselves we might have otherwise missed.

In the end, abandonment may not be about loss at all. Maybe it’s more about finding—about growing into who we truly are. It’s a journey of release and reconnection, a lesson that while we walk alongside others and experience growth, our truest path is always within.

So the next time someone, a job, or a situation exits your life, remember this: it’s not the end of your story. It’s just a chapter, maybe even a stepping stone toward something even more profound. Allow yourself to feel the loss, honor the grief, and trust that as you let go, you’re creating space for something more powerful: a deeper, more authentic connection with yourself.

Soulfully yours,

Zohra Damani

Dr. Zohra (Zo/Z) Damani is an author and a seasoned Talent Development Leader with over 15 years of experience. She is a Certified Coach and is currently undergoing Shamanic Practitioner Training in Scotland. In addition to her coaching credentials, she is a trained Yoga Teacher (Hatha & Yin). Zohra brings a unique blend of expertise and a holistic approach to talent transformation and organizational development, integrating mindfulness, spiritual practices, and personal growth into her professional practice. Her diverse skill set allows her to address the needs of individuals and organizations from multiple dimensions, fostering growth and transformation on both personal and professional levels.