There Is No Destination

Overachievers love to create plans that meet (and surpass!) goals. However, there’s a truth in life that goes against everything we’ve taught ourselves to believe.?

Early in my career, I had several clients who hit extremely ambitious goals faster than I had ever witnessed before.?

They were all successful executives with impressive backgrounds, whose hard work resulted in the respect of their peers, custom-designed wardrobes, and more income than they could possibly spend in their lifetimes.?

Every one of those clients was convinced that as soon as they earned “just a little more,” everything else would fall in place. In turn, that earned achievement would lead to the type of recognition, lifestyle, and financial freedom that would make them finally feel successful.?

After a ton of effort, every single one surpassed their financial goals. I was excited to be a part of their journeys and couldn’t wait to help them celebrate at our next meetings.?

My enthusiasm lasted all of about 60 seconds.?

Despite their amazing success, by the end of every single meeting, the clients were already on to the next goal, worrying and wondering how they could achieve it faster.?

Despite their own success, many overachievers simply can’t get past the fact that they will always have peers who have accomplished significantly more. No matter what we achieve, this obsession leads to frustration that keeps us from enjoying anything in our lives.??

That was the moment I began to develop the next - and most critical - part of my coaching strategy: an action plan for actually enjoying your success.?

In theory, making subtle shifts in the way you approach life should deliver the satisfaction and happiness you’ve been searching for all these years. Unfortunately, I’ve rarely seen it work out that way.?

The reason is that knowing what to do and doing it are at opposite ends of the spectrum. You’ve been doing it your way for a long time.?

No matter how compelling you found the last podcast/book/workshop, it’s unlikely that becoming exposed to the truth will lead to massive changes in your behavior.?

The truth is, for the rest of your life, you will always be working at becoming a better friend, spouse, parent, child, leader, etc.?

There is no “arriving.” You’re either getting better or worse. There’s no such thing as maintaining the status quo.?

You can take this truth and view it in one of two ways:?

1. Frustrated that there’s no magical time when you “arrive” at complete satisfaction.
2. Choose to figure out the best way to enjoy the journey.?

Once I came to the realization that life was a grand expedition to be experienced rather than a contest to win, I began to see everything differently. I dialed down (not eliminated, I’m still a work in progress) my obsession with results and began instead actually to appreciate the process - even when it’s painful.?

Since then, I’ve focused on being present in the moment, noticing what is happening around me, and allowing it to “just be.”?

Trust me, it’s more difficult and uncomfortable than it sounds. However, I’ve found it’s made all the difference.?

—CJ?