Desperation is un-attractive AF. An alternative approach to job hunting in this current market from a recruiter.

There’s a hella lot of people looking for jobs right now. Nothing new here. But the air of desperation in it all, is getting very loud indeed.

And desperation is not attractive.?

Make the same comparison to dating. Being desperate is not a quality that pulls the 10s in.?

To qualify myself somewhat, for over a decade I have been recruiting for companies of 1 to 10,000. For Board level roles, through to the odd entry position here and there. Pretty much all industries. Pretty much all job functions. In a lot of different countries. I think I have some things to say on these matters.

This isn’t a top 10 list of ways to sharpen up your resume or the best job boards to be on. Because that’s all surface level, a lot of which is frankly total BS.?

The fact of the matter is that if you’re looking for a job in today’s market, the number of applicants per position is wild, there’s a lot of fear, there’s a lot of uncertainty, AI resume writers, un-replied applications, endless scrolling through LinkedIn…. it’s a pretty overwhelming place to be.?

I can’t give you an exact reason for the way this works, but what I do know is that whenever I am gripping on tightly to something, desperately trying to control an outcome a certain way, no matter how hard I try, it never goes the way I want.

Instead, whenever I release that grip, time and time again, opportunities come my way that I could never have anticipated, often far more fulfilling than what I was wanting in the first place. If you haven’t read the Surrender Experiment yet, I would highly recommend. That book literally changed my life.?

Desperation is un-attractive AF.?

“But I need a job.” “I need to pay rent.” I have heard every story of financial fear under the sun. ‘There’s nothing that keeps you up at night like the worry about money’, my Dad used to tell me. There’s certainly some stories I have inherited in that department.?

But today, with many things, I am choosing to do them differently. It’s an active choice I have to make. And when those old stories around money come up for me, it’s an opportunity to recognise where that fear is coming from, and make a conscious decision to not play out the same story.

Job hunting right now is a b*tch.?

And if you’re feeling the drag, here’s to making a conscious decision to do things differently.

'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ Einstein was onto the same thing. ?

#1 Stop the job search.?

There’s a common phrase in the 12 step rooms, ‘polish here, and it shines over there’.

Stop the doom scrolling. Stop the applications. Just for a minute. Give yourself the permission of one day. To not do any job applications. To not have to outreach to people. To not do anything you think you’re supposed to be doing

“But I need a job!” “I need to pay rent!”

What’s a day in the grand scheme of things? Give yourself a day. Two or three if you really want to give this a go. I gave myself a year. You can do a day. A week. I mean it.

PERMISSION TO BREATHE.?

PERMISSION TO RELEASE THAT GRIP.

This is counter-intuitive I know, but it’s in that space that we create the opportunities, and allow the inspiration to come in. Inspiration is the gold we’re after here.

#2 Be of service.??

In that networking zone, I think there’s often a mentality of ‘I need to get something in this interaction with this person’ i.e. a job or a lead or a connection to the next thing. And it creates a very one-sided dynamic.?

Yes, you might ‘need’ something, but HOLY SMOKES you have so much to give!

Throw yourself into that project with the startup that can’t afford to pay you anything right now but you LOVE what they’re building. Yes, have boundaries with time and energy, but immediately you’re out of that desperate energy, and it makes you so much more attractive to people you are networking with for jobs.?

There are so many companies out there which are at an early stage, and need connections or sales or growth or whatever - be helpful to them. Connect them to others, to what they need right now.?

Having a reason to get in front of other people / founders / hiring managers, i.e. I’m helping with this event, or helping this company do XYZ, is ten thousand times warmer than a ‘I need a job’.

PLUS you never know who’s hiring.?

Of all the jobs I have ever recruited for, I would say maybe less than 30% were publicly advertised. Most of the time they were private searches. So what you’re likely seeing on the job boards and publicly advertised is only a fraction of the opportunities out there.

So the solution, is to get in front of people, have those conversations directly - what’s going on in the business? In the industry? blah blah blah.

And get in front of people by actually having something valuable to offer yourself. Maybe it’s an event invite, or info about the project you’re working, ways they can get involved, what do they need?

I really do believe this whole game is, what does this one person need, what does this other person need? How can I connect the dots so that everyone gets what they need??

In that process of connection, I am a valuable commodity. I have learnt how to connect the dots. And for anyone looking for a job right now, I think one of the biggest ways you can maximise your own opportunities is by creating them for others.

#3 Don’t take any of this personally.

This one’s a lot easier said than done, but this is all a game. A joke that we’re spinning on the earth’s axis 1000mph, and it could all end tomorrow. That person isn’t not replying to your email because they hate you. You’re not not getting the job because that other person used a different font on their resume.?

We like to think we’re in control of it all. We’re not. Period. Call him the big man in the sky, or Spirit or some other universal power… whatever force you think guides it all, they can be a d*ck at times.?

This whole ride is just gifts and lessons.?

Surrender that grip. Lesson number one.?

All this stuff isn’t the way we’ve been told you’re supposed to go about these things, but when the old ways aren’t working, we get the opportunity to try something new.

I said it was a ‘polish here, shine over there’ kinda deal. Said by a business building hippie.

—Holly Gottlieb (Founder, Whole Collective)

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