Desperado

The Desperado song (the Eagles, the Carpenters) is an observation on what happens when a person is desperate and gone slightly crazy. The Oxford Dictionary definition of "desperado" is categorised as dated, and they are correct on that one. The song comes from 1973, when your correspondents had not really learned to speak yet and televisions had to warm up before you could watch anything.

There are many reasons a person can have a really horrible time at work. It's common for lawyers to have moments where they are working through something with which they are completely unfamiliar. It is also common to have to do this in less time than you anticipated, and to worry about failing or somehow making a gigantic mistake. If you add a viewing gallery of colleagues / clients into the mix, the stress levels can really soar. Even if you get on well with them, which is not a given.

We know this ghastly place, and occasionally still visit from time to time. It's normal. Here are our high fives, suggestions to help you come to your senses and bring you gently down from your fences, as the song goes...

Try to make it smaller. We have never seen anyone actually "calm down" when being told to. As we all know, anxieties can't just be turned off upon instruction. This isn't new advice, but remember that this matter, like all others, will pass. At the very least, you will get through it, as we suspect you have done many times in the past, and the anxiety will go away.

But afford yourself ten minutes of reflection time. Assess the significance of what you are doing, and if you can, why it is making you feel super stressed: is it not knowing how to do the task itself, its size, or fear of failure? If so, two things might help here.

Turn it into a list. Write yourself a comprehensive list of what you think the steps are to achieve what you are having to do, alongside another list of the things you don't know how to do, plus possibly a third list of what you really fear happening. These lists may help you to put the matter into some form of perspective. On the third, how likely do you think it is that what you fear actually happens? We suspect that the answer is that it is at least not entirely likely, because it's normal to exaggerate consequences when we're stressed....

Talk through your stress. A chat with someone you trust will help - if your manager can't fulfil this role, perhaps a friendly outside counsel, perhaps a mentor, or someone who could temporarily step in with some guidance). Key advice for us lawyers is that there is no prohibition on our asking for help or an opportunity to speak about our anxieties. Feeling that we can't talk to anyone and we have to provide all the answers is the wrong, old fashioned approach to our job, and it doesn't work. There is no need to suffer in silence. You can choose someone appropriate to talk to, and you can do that without revealing confidential details. All of this is possible.

Tackle. Block out time in your diary, every day, to address those first two lists - what you think the steps are, and what you feel you don't know. For the steps you know you have to carry out, start tackling these bit by bit. For the unknowns, work out (perhaps first thing in the morning, before the daily craziness starts) how you might find the answers. Panic usually makes us unable to see how we can fill in gaps in our knowledge. A reflective few moments while e.g. out on a walk may allow us to see clearly how we find the answers. You can make time. This is a job, not an inescapable labyrinth with a horrible minotaur coming to get you.

Transform yourself. Assume the identity of your favourite fictional detective. We are serious: how might your they work through this? Casting yourself in your mind as a thoughtful and wise Sarah Lund / Sherlock Holmes, and the matter at hand as a difficult crime scene that you will solve, removes a bit of the anxiety and restores your mental power base. What would Sarah Lund do?

What are your tips for getting through severely stressful times at work? We would love to hear them!