The DESIRE for VALIDATION versus the NEED..
What does it mean when you hear that an individual is always seeking validation?
A question paused by a friend of mine which triggered a topic for discussion.
Well, by definition, seeking Validation is the desire to have someone else's approval or agreement with what you say, believe, or do.
Humans are naturally social creatures, we bloom, succeed and shine in a community ;therefore, we always have a strong desire to fit in that community and seek validation from it, in the recent years, it has become more intense due to the presence of different social media platforms, to be honest, is not a bad trait in principle, on the contrary it could be positive, moral and self-esteem booster and in some cases life changing as long as it is up to a healthy limit.
If validation is sought beyond a vigilant constructive limit, it turns to ''Attention-Seeking Behavior'' which is a health condition conduct meaning to keep saying or doing anything with the ultimate goal of getting the attention of a person or a group of people regardless of the consequences.
How to keep seeking validation within the healthy limit?
- If you do receive validation (encouragement or acknowledgment) recognize the praise, embrace and acknowledge it then STOP, DO NOT continue to ask others or seek out others for endorsement, the less people you ask, the better chances to stay emotionally stable and content, at the end of the day, we all come from different backgrounds , have different opinions and taste for things. Start asking yourself more instead of external resources, it will be difficult at first but step by step you will search for more effective ways for validation then eventually depend more on the internal aspect rather than the external .
- Limit your social media interaction, that will eliminate any chance for comparison , anxiety or even reading a comment on any of your posts which you won’t approve of.
- Do a sanity check on your own journey, skills, improvements, areas of development, acknowledge your talent and praise your own self, that’s what we call SELF-VALIDATION.
- Don’t look at people as they are better than you, we all have our flaws ,think of others as individuals also seeking validation from others, this way negative words, comments or opinions will no longer affect you and gradually will learn how to keep the validation process within the positive limits.
**YOU ARE YOUR OWN VALIDATION…. ??**
Sales Executive at High Plan Services
3 个月Hi Nadeen. Hope you doing well..I'm from MAF. Looking for Customer service job on your company.
Public Health Supply Management Pharmacist
1 年This is profound, thank you for sharing. Jackie Ndebele
Great!
Food and Beverage specialist and Consultant. My Goal is to be recognized as one of the Top Consultant in the field. I Aspire to motivate people to aim for success and never give up!
2 年Very true this is a function of low self esteem and lack of confidence a lot of unfortunately have because of some specific insicidifents we encounter both at work and at home. Glad you brought this topic up because there has to be more awareness on how to love ourselves first and foremost and practice believing in ourselves more. Cut ties with the ones the ones that bring and make us feel not good enough!
Food and Beverage specialist and Consultant. My Goal is to be recognized as one of the Top Consultant in the field. I Aspire to motivate people to aim for success and never give up!
2 年Great advice Nadeen. You really hit the nail on the head!