The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience

In a previous job there were times I felt surrounded by people so easily offended that telling the truth rarely happened. Over the years I watched a healthy culture decay, and ultimately make the very people that were needed for success leave to go do something else with people who can handle the truth.

Being offended is a choice and ideally it's chosen wisely

One of the things I love about much of Europe, and especially the Danes and Lithuanians, is the default use of truth. Going from the UK, where we dance around the truth for fear of offending someone's feelings, to working with people that say it how it is was like a breath of fresh air.

You see, I'm not easy to offend. I mean, you can offend me if you are purposefully directing hate towards me, yet I rarely (thankfully) experience that, and I hope you rarely experience that too.

People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good. - Mark Manson

Why is it much of the USA and UK are so easily offended nowadays? Do we really have such fragile personalities? Or is it really that we have such an offensive culture that being so easily offended is necessary?

I'm not sure.. though I am sure that I am responsible for my own feelings and emotions, noone else is. That doesn't mean I don't get hurt, don't blame others or not 'feel' like someone has made me sad or happy. Yet after reflection I know the reality is it's me who's responsible for being sad or happy (unconciously or not). Most of us are not aware we have these choices, and most of us aren't aware we are responsible for our feelings and emotions...

You cannot be a powerful and life-changing presence to some people without being a joke or an embarrassment to others

It has taken me many years to stop being a people pleaser. At work not pleasing others can result in poor performance, for family it can cause emotional strain and stress, with friends it might result in losing friendships. So what's the answer? Many of us choose to please, and then the truth doesn't get heard.

You know who bases their entire lives on their emotions? Three-year-old kids. And dogs...

I've gradually become ok with not pleasing everyone. I'm no longer caring about people or situations that are not important to me. Sound selfish? Perhaps it is? Perhaps it's not? I no longer care, as that's not important to me.

What's important to me is learning to be aware my emotions are mine and that others do not control them. What's important to me is not spending my time and energy on topics and situations that are ultimately meaningless (memes, most of the tabloid news and social media, and so much more).

I wonder if we reversed the trend of fragility, to a trend of responsibility, whether our lives would be enriched?

I think so.

I can't choose whether someone is offended by my actions. I can choose whether I care

Nvidia founder and CEO told Stanford students that their high expectations may make it hard for them to succeed: ‘I wish upon you ample doses of pain and suffering' he said.

If you're easily offended and people stop telling you the truth due to this, you're chance of growing, changing and having a fulfilling life are lessened (in my opinion, I hope that doesn't offend).

So here's the thing...it turns out that in order to have joy and happiness in our lives we also need ample doses of pain and suffering.

And feeling offended is usually a simple trigger from your past that you have not let go of.

What we need in our lives is more truth, and people who love us tend to tell us the truth, they also tend to help us through the pain and suffering.

I hope you have people that love you.

You must love someone without expecting anything in return; otherwise it’s not truly love. You must respect someone without expecting anything in return; otherwise you don’t truly respect them. You must speak honestly without expecting a pat on the back or a high-five or a gold star next to your name; otherwise you aren’t truly being honest. - Mark Manson

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