DESIGN THE LIFE YOU LOVE BY AYSE BIRSEL > REFRAMING LIFE WORK BALANCE (SPOILER ALERT, THERE'S NO BALANCE, IT'S ALL LIFE)

Dear Designers of Life and Work!?

I almost didn't write my newsletter today.

Thursday, I had to let go of my mother's caregiver in Istanbul. There is no need to go into details, but you can imagine how suddenly my mom became my priority.?

Saturday, I did karate, I hung out with my 17-year-old, I read a thriller, and I went for a drink with a dear friend. In other words, I didn't work.

Sunday was spent doing "deep work"—drawing my ideas and realizing that I am getting much better at it just as I am finishing my book.

Smack in the middle of it, my 18-year-old daughter called, her voice breaking—Mom, I am on the wrong train, and the next train is at 6 AM tomorrow. I don't know how to get back home to Reims.?It was 11 PM in France. So my drawing time went out the door, and my daughter became my priority.

I am happy to report my daughter is now back in Reims, and I am interviewing new caregivers for my mom over WhatsApp tomorrow. But between them, my deep work, and my time off, I am behind on my list of to-do's and emails.

I want to redesign my life to feel comfortable and at peace with everything I do—work, family, friends, hobbies.

That would also mean I am not always on top of email and can do my deep thinking work guilt-free. It means I need to try my best and forgive myself when things fall off my plate. It also means I don't compare myself constantly to others who seem to be on top of everything but instead, I learn from them. And so on.?

But this requires reframing—seeing the same things differently—which is at the center of our creativity as we design and redesign our lives.

This reframing would help me to value all parts of my life and not feel guilty about any of them.

I realized I had the right approach by prioritizing deep work over email when I listened to the Hidden Brain podcast,?You 2.0: The Value Of 'Deep Work' In An Age Of Distraction. It featured Cal Newport, a computer scientist at Georgetown University and author of?Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World.?This episode helped me to actually feel great about my work priorities. See if it helps you too.

I also was reminded that I wrote about this topic in a slightly different way for?INC.com,?Don't Feel Guilty If You Procrastinate. Here Are 6 Reasons It's Actually Good For You.?It's Funny how remembering my own advice can be helpful!

So, it's timely that I invited Dr. Ruth Gotian as my very special guest for this Wednesday's Design the Life You Love Virtual Tea at 5PM ET.

Ruth is the?Thinkers50 Distinguished Achievement Award - Radar Winner for top emerging management thinkers in the world.?Her new book,?The Success Factor, comes out this week. She spent years studying extreme high achievers, including astronauts, Nobel Prize winners, Olympians, CEOs, etc. She figured out what made them so successful and then reverse-engineered the process, created a blueprint, and taught people actionable steps they could implement immediately to improve their success. It's not about their habits; it's their mindset.

I am ready to learn their mindsets from Ruth. Join me!

RSVP

Ayse (pronounced Eye-Shay)?Birsel

Designer and Author