Deploy Delicacy

Daily, there are millions of packages that move throughout the United States. These packages transfer many hands, and in many occurrences, cross many states. As recipients of these packages, it’s our hope that they arrive on time and with contents unaltered. But inevitably, many of you have likely endured an experience where a package has shown up damaged, in spite of the “handle with care” that may have been plastered all over the box.

“Handle with care” is often embedded on a package that has contents inside that can be easily damaged. It’s a message to inform and remind handlers to be extra thoughtful and careful, and to deploy delicacy when handling the package. Yet, in spite of this messaging the package contents can still be damaged. The damage that incurs most likely arises from honest mistakes and unavoidable situations. But rest assured, some of the damage done occurs as a result of a handler hurriedly and mindlessly completing their task; disallowing an opportunity to be delicate.

Which leads to an important revelation, metaphorically speaking, that a lot of the “damage” done in our own lives often arises from an inability to deploy delicacy. We so often inject strength and apply pressure to that which we’re doing because we’re not living in a mindful state, but already anticipating the next event or task before we actually fulfill or complete the current task at hand. Considering such, the challenge for this week is to be more intentional about being delicate in your daily actions.

The challenge: deploy delicacy!

Have you ever attempted to pull a paper towel from a dispenser, but when doing so, only get a portion of the towel and not the full sheet??

Of course, this may occur as a result of the dispenser being jammed, and thus disallowing the paper to move. But most often, when this happens, it’s because we’re hurriedly rushing through the task. We may be in a fearful or rushed state, filled with tension, and applying unnecessary pressure to something that would otherwise move if we just gently grasped both sides of the paper and subtly tugged downward. This finesse and delicacy would ensure a full sheet and not a ripped portion only where the pressure was applied.

If this example doesn’t resonate, perhaps you may recall a time where you spilled water while opening a bottle. Often time we’ll apply so much pressure to the base of the bottle that while opening its lid for the first time, water spills out from the top. And even another example to indicate how firmly (and mindlessly) we may complete tasks can be linked to our toothbrushing routine. When you are brushing your teeth are you present in the act or doing a few tasks simultaneously while thinking about your day’s to-do list??

It’s not uncommon to fall into the latter and hurriedly rush brushing your teeth. This often results in unnecessary forceful pressure applied to the gums that can cause bleeding and/or the wearing away of enamel over the long term.

Although these scenarios may appear as only small inconveniences, the result of each pressure based action reaffirms the importance of slowing down. And that’s the intention of the challenge this week: to help you be more mindful in your daily activities so you can deploy delicacy when necessary.

It’s certainly not lost on me that some of our actions throughout the week will require strength. The goal isn’t to be delicate in those moments when you know you need to apply pressure, but instead, it’s to be delicate in the moments you shouldn’t be applying pressure.

For example, if your colleague makes a mistake, rather than greeting that mistake with a harsh condemnation, choose to deploy grace. Or, if someone says something unkind to you, choose to be delicate in your reply rather than forcefully responding with words that you perceive to project “strength.”

When we’re in a reactive and tension based state, it’s hard to accomplish the above. We only know pressure in that state. And when we’re operating from pressure and forcefully, we can’t deploy delicacy. Nor can we handle with care. And therefore, the "contents" of the package will break.

Handle all that you do, this week and always, with deep care and compassion. Have a great week!