DEPARTMENT STORES ARE PLAYING THE WRONG GAME: What My Silent Shopping Experience Reveals About Your Future

I am squarely in the department store's corner. I want them to thrive.?

Yet every day, I read another 'expert' declaring department stores dead. But here's the truth: the model isn't failing - these brands are failing themselves.

If department stores are dying and being reduced to real estate plays, it's not because of online shopping. It's because they've forgotten the human connection that once made retail America's greatest meeting place.

I've made it my mission to change the world through retail. Not just selling stuff - but the human connections that happen when people look up from their phones and actually see each other.

That's why I document systemic failures in basic human interaction and customer service in our best stores.

The Lost Art of Human Connection

Time was, department stores weren't just places to shop - they were where America learned to get along. Unlike churches, schools, or political gatherings where like minds cluster, retail brought everyone together.

The wealthy businessman, the middle-class mom, the immigrant, the working student—all were shopping, all were being served, and all were learning to interact with people different from themselves. That mixing of humanity was retail's secret sauce.

Last month, at a luxury department store, I went in for a simple topcoat. My existing one was only wool and tired. I walked into the store and there was a guy standing there. Unfazed, he looked down as I walked in, and an older couple walked out empty-handed. I found the menswear top coats, took one off the hanger with its security cable still on, walked over to find a mirror, took off my heavy Overland Outfitters jacket and placed it and my previous purchase from another store on their display table.

No curiosity from anyone.? It was an easy sale - I could have gotten a scarf, too - but I'd seen a couple of associates, and no one stopped or said a word. I wasn't going to hand it to one of them to get credit, so I walked through several departments. One guy was resting on the front of the counter with one shoe touching it, looking down into his phone, oblivious.

I felt invisible. Finally, a neatly dressed man walked past me to his register and smiled, then said "Good morning". I gave him the coat. This isn't just one bad experience. It's a pattern I've documented at Neiman Marcus, Saks, Nordstrom, and Bloomingdale's.

While critics declare 'the department store is dead' because everyone is shopping online and others proclaim the death of the middle class, they're missing the real story.

And yes, the fact Neiman Marcus announced the closure of their flagship in Dallas last week is not lost on me.

To ignore people requires you to become jaded and uninterested in the person going by you. You can't say it's because of Covid - that was five years ago. And the shops I've been doing of these major brands have been going on for many years.

As our society splinters into isolated groups that pride themselves on not understanding 'those other people,' retail remains one of the last places where different worlds could—and should—intersect.?

What's fascinating is that physical retail stores still have all the ingredients for human connection - shoppers looking to feel valued and associates wanting to succeed. But instead of building those bridges, both groups retreat to their phones, joining online tribes that reinforce isolation while ignoring the human being standing right in front of them.

The Systemic Breakdown

Interestingly, all the AI and IT invested in getting higher conversion rates is only focused online.

Full stop.

Generations of people - both employees and customers - have no idea what success looks like in a retail store anymore or how to make it happen. Is it any wonder we have dispirited associates on the front lines?

So what's the answer? Is it money? Have employees internalized such low self-worth that they've resigned themselves to being invisible? Do they not care about working in a luxury retail space?

Retailers advertise for friendly, engaging people with previous experience and then leave them alone. And the bean counters, in an attempt to stave off Wall Street and show returns, always cut training first. Worse, training is a box to check. Acronyms are used to make "training easy," like M=Make a connection, E=Engage, S=Smile - pablum tips. Those are not training; those are bandaids.

You might as well stop such things unless you're serious about saving your department store or brand. It would be like giving batting tips to someone who doesn't know the game of baseball.

And that's a shame because the game of retail is not being played. It is an Olympic sport, not a pickup game in a suburb from the 60's.

When played right, retail is where a skilled associate can make a nervous teenager feel confident about their first job interview outfit, where a widower buying his first solo holiday gifts finds compassion, where a harried mom gets a moment of being truly seen and heard.

They come in not knowing what they want but buy something they discover in your store—and are happy they did.

That's an Olympic-level human connection.

Sure, some associates have figured out the game and do well, but many don't. Many would rather worry about ups and whose sale it is rather than building the perfect add-on sale.

The thousands of views and 900 comments on my recent video show this resonates deeply with customers. Those shoppers are angry and quick to share, comment, and post. Because this isn't about just a coat or one store - it's about human disconnection in an increasingly isolated world.

And while the rest of society may be content to splinter into echo chambers, retail has a unique opportunity - and responsibility - to bring people back together.

The Real Game

The old playbook of 'How may I help you?' is as outdated as the rotary phone. Today's retail isn't about waiting for questions - it's about leading transformations.?

When an associate stands back waiting for a customer to ask for help, they've already lost. The game has moved from reactive service to proactive engagement. Not harassment but genuine curiosity about the person in front of them.

Think about it - customers can get basic service anywhere. They can click a button and have items delivered tomorrow. What they can't get online is someone who sees their potential, who can challenge their assumptions, who can show them possibilities they hadn't considered.

That takes Olympic training for associates to rise to the challenge. A great retail associate doesn't just sell a suit - they help someone land their dream job. They don't just sell makeup - they help someone rediscover their confidence. They don't just sell a sportcoat - they help someone feel like they belong in the room.

But this transformation can't happen if associates are stuck in their own comfort zones, heads down in their phones, waiting for customers to make the first move. Change is hard - both for customers who stick with what's familiar and associates who've never seen excellence in action.

The solution isn't another training acronym or morning huddle about sales goals. It's about teaching associates the game of retail. It is important to recognize that every person walking through those doors is looking for more than just a product - they're looking for a better version of themselves.

The Science of Connection

And here's what's fascinating - this isn't just feel-good retail philosophy. It's neuroscience.

Recent research published in Frontiers in Neuroscience studied the neurologic immersion of luxury department store associates while they served customers. The findings? When associates were genuinely engaged, enthusiastic, and focused on the customer – what researchers called "peak immersion" – purchases increased significantly.

In an age where IT departments are frantically trying to bypass human interaction with AI and self-checkout, this research confirms what the best retailers have always known: genuine human connection drives sales. It's not about replacing associates with technology; it's about using technology to free associates to do what only humans can do – create authentic, meaningful connections.

The study proves what many of us have forgotten – a fully engaged associate standing on the floor beats a disengaged one hiding behind a counter or staring at a phone every time. And not by small margins.

This is the game being missed in today's department stores. It's not about transactions - it's about transformations.

I have experienced the highest increase in sales at South Coast Plaza, the preeminent luxury mall in the US, and have worked with dozens of brands to elevate their 'ask and answer' service into the Olympic game of retail.

I know what's possible. When retailers embrace this fundamental shift of priorities, they don't just increase sales—they rediscover their reason for existing.

This is the game being missed in today's department stores. It's not about transactions - it's about transformations.

Otherwise, you end up like Barney's - legendary, but not for products, for subpar service. And until retailers understand this fundamental shift, they'll continue to lose not just sales, but their reason for existing.

The playbook exists. The proven strategies work.

The question isn't whether this transformation is possible - it's who has the courage to step up and win this game.

Don't you want to look back and see you did more than kept the lights on?

Who's ready to turn their retail space into a stage where human connection happens again?

ABOUT BOB PHIBBS

Bob Phibbs, an international business strategist and customer service expert, founded The Retail Doctor in 1994. His firm helps retailers sell merchandise more profitably in physical stores through SalesRX, his strategic virtual training program.

His clients include Fortune 500 companies as diverse as Brother, Lego, T-Mobile, and Yamaha. A LinkedIn Top Voice with 450K followers, Phibbs brings 30+ years of experience as a corporate officer, franchisor, and entrepreneur.

Phibbs received the World Retail Forum's Innovation Leadership Award and earned the CSP? (Certified Speaking Professional), achieved by fewer than 7% of speakers worldwide.