On denial: how ignoring realities affects the leader and their organisation!

Lets face it, even the best leaders sometimes wander off into the denial land. After all, who doesn’t love a comforting illusion? But what happens when the denial affects decision-making and performance at the highest levels? It's not just a funny quirk - it's a real issue with tangible impacts on the organisation.?

The psychology of denial

First off, denial is not just a river in Egypt (I couldn’t resist!). Its a psychological defense mechanism, one that even seasoned leaders can fall prey to.?

According to sociologist Arlie Hoshschild, denial can lead to ‘emotional labor’, where individuals suppress or fake emotional expressions, causing stress and job dissatisfaction.?

Also, denial isn’t just a stand-alone phenomenon. From my years of coaching experience, I’ve come to realise that denial often ties back to some kind of perceived loss and to the ensuing psychological stages of grief.?

The stages of grief as proposed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book ‘On Death and Dying’, may not always come from a grim situation of losing a loved one.?

Let’s walk through how it can play out for someone with a leadership responsibility.?

1. Denial - It starts here - Perhaps the loss of your vision, an idea, a large deal, a funding opportunity, or of your notion that your strategies are bulletproof. Not facing and acknowledging the loss keeps you stuck in this first stage.?

2. Anger - This often manifests as irritation with team members or external factors. You might even be mad at the market for not aligning with your ‘brilliant’ strategy.

3. Bargaining - “If only we get this one client, everything will be fine.” Sounds familiar? Bargaining often follows a realisation that things aren’t great, however without accepting the full weight of reality.

4. Depression - Low morale in the office? It could be coming from the top. The leader’s emotional state often sets the tone for the organisation.?

5. Acceptance - This is the goal. Coming to terms with the reality allows for strategic pivots that could save the ship from sinking.?

It’s not just you, Leader

The trickle-down effect is real. When leaders are in denial, employees sense it. A study by Prof. Jim Collins in his seminal work “Good to Great” shows that a crucial trait of companies that transition from good to great is ‘facing the brutal facts’. Denial does the opposite; it cultivates a culture of unreality.

Strategy takes a beating

Strategic planning relies on an accurate view of reality. Remember the timeless gem that is SWOT analysis? Well, if the leader cannot face the facts, the ‘W’ and ’T’ might as well stand for ‘What’s the point’ and ‘Total waste’. Denial skews perception, and ergo, the whole strategic foundation.

Operational mishaps

A study by McKinsey & Company highlighted that organisations with effective leadership are 2.3 times more likely to outperform their peers in productivity and profitability. Denial on the other hand, can lead to operational blind spots. It’s like trying to steer a ship while ignoring the hole in the hull. You will not get far.

How can a leader identify that they are in denial?

Before a problem can be solved, it needs to be identified and acknowledged. So, how does a leader know that they are in denial? Here are a few tell-tale signs:

1. Reluctance to hear bad news or to have difficult conversations: If you find that you’re often shooting the messenger or sending a messenger for conversations that you should be having, take a pause. It might be a sign that you are not ready to even face the music, let alone dance.?

2. Rationalising poor results: Consistently justifying poor performance metrics or strategic setbacks is a red flag. If you are always finding someone or something else to blame, look in the mirror.

3. Avoidance: Are you delaying crucial meetings that will discuss performance or strategy? Your calendar might be telling you something you’re unwilling to admit to yourself.?

4. Groupthink: If everyone in your executive team is always in agreement, it may not be the harmony. It could be denial.

The way out: strategies for leaders

1. Self awareness: Recognise that you are in denial. Easier said than done, but tools like 360-degree feedback can be useful.

2. Open dialogue: Create a culture where people can not only speak up without fear but also know that their views are heard and valued. Psychological safety, popularised by Amy Edmondson’s work, is key here along with respect for diverse views.

3. Reality check: External consultants can provide an unbiased view of the situation. But make sure you absolutely avoid confirmation bias. If we are not ready to face the mirror, it sometimes takes another person to tell us we’re not wearing any clothes (metaphorically, folks).

4. Leadership development: As the saying goes, “the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second best time is now.” If you’ve missed the boat on self-awareness so far, it's never too late to start. Leadership programs and executive coaching can provide new perspectives and promote intellectual and emotional honesty.?

Wrapping it up

So leaders, the next time you find yourself in denial, take a pause. Remember that the comfort of ignoring reality is only short-lived. And the impact on the organization can be long lasting, if not devastating.

Embrace reality, no matter how brutal, because that’s the only way to navigate your ship effectively through the stormy waters.?

Lets engage here if you find these thoughts illuminating, or if you think some leaders in your network could use a reality check (no judgment here, we’ve all been there).