Democracy in a Peanut-shell

Note: This week's Weekly Vine will be published on Friday instead of Wednesday.?

Intermittent fasting enthusiast Winston Churchill once argued that democracy was the worst form of government except for all the other ones tried out. After three election seasons involving Donald Trump, one might wonder if benevolent dictatorship is the answer. Speaking of benevolent dictatorships, in two or three days, we will know who will become the next US President (or refuse to acknowledge the result).

If you’ve been living under a rock, here are the line-ups.

On the red side, you’ve a reality star who is the first US president to have his own mugshot and had the best moments of his presidential campaign in McDonald’s and a garbage truck . He has survived two assassination attempts , is prone to spend the majority of his rally swaying to music, dancing to YMCA , and has irreversibly broken America. His transition team is a motley crew of MAGAvengers that includes, a Tiger Mom’s dream child , a VP candidate who was accused of making improper amoure to his couch, a former Fox Anchor who gets too excited about bread in Russia, a Kennedy who dropped a bear carcass in New York’s Central Park, and a billionaire who wants to colonise Mars.

On the blue side, you had a sitting US president who struggled to stay awake and wandered off during international meetings before a silent coup was carried out to “save” democracy and replace him with a formerly progressive candidate who has reversed her stance on every major policy position and whose answer to every question is to tom-tom her middle-class credentials or break into spontaneous laughter . Her running mate is a coach who looks and sounds exactly like the dad you’ve seen in every 90s teen movie. Backing her are some of Hollywood’s top stars , who might or might not be on the Diddly list , and the Democratic establishment including a former president whose masterful oratory makes us forget the atrocities carried out under his regime.

So perhaps it’s fitting that the final talking point of the elections of the world’s most powerful country – which has more nuclear warheads than any other – is a pet squirrel being euthanized . Since the election result probably won’t come till Wednesday afternoon, this week’s edition of the Weekly Vine will be published on Friday, See you then.

Let’s just hope democracy doesn’t end up in a peanut shell.