Demanding v/s Commanding
Tarkesh Gupta (PCC - ICF)
Chief HR Officer @ Fresenius Kabi, South Asia | PCC - ICF I Top Leadership Award I Top Employer Certification I LinkedIn Top Voice I Student of Psychology I Loves Technology I Building Culture. All views are personal
An employee came to me with a grievance. He was visibly unhappy and agitated.
I asked him, “what happened? What is making you unhappy?
He said, “I have been waiting for my turn for promotion. I have been DEMANDING it from last couple of years. Still, I am not getting opportunity.”
I said, “our organization has got fairly transparent system. Promotions are purely based upon capability. There must have been reasons for you not getting opportunity.”
He said, “I have been asking this questions, however, not getting very ‘satisfactory’ answer. I have been a performer, still, I fail to understand for not getting my due.”
I had around 30 minutes coaching session. Cut the long story in short.
I asked him, “please find out difference between DEMANDING and COMMANDING.”
He immediately googled and came back with answer –
Definitions of Command and Demand:
? A command can be defined as an order.
? A demand can be defined as a firm request or pressing requirements.
Authority:
? Commanding comes with authority.
? Demanding lacks authority.
Struggle:
? There is no struggle between the parties involved in a command.
? In demanding, there is a struggle between the two parties which results from power imbalance.
Respect:
? A leader who commands respect gains it naturally.
? A leader who demands respect has to ask for it.
Influence or Force:
? In command, there is influence.
? In demand, there is force.
He understood that he has been “demanding” instead of “commanding”. In demand, there is request, struggle, lack of respect, and you operate from the position of lack of authority. While in “command”, everything is just opposite - no struggle, respect, authority, influence and no disappointment.
I said, “instead of ‘demanding’, work hard for ‘commanding’”. He himself came out with actions to reach to “commanding” position with positive mindset, intent and with peace of mind.
In every sphere of life, be it career, promotions, love, respect, authority, …, let’s work to “command” instead of “demand”.
“Demand” is indication of weakness, helplessness and creates poor impression of an individual.
We, as human being, are not helpless, not even week. Then, why should we DEMAND, instead let’s work hard to COMMAND
Say NO to DEMAND!!!
Erkenne dich selbst
1 年Can't resonate with that. It works in a hierarchical system but outside in relationships in the same level, it's kind to demand, it gives the other person freedom to decide. Commanding a friend to do something is not respectful, it's embarrassing to actually command something. You might get what you want but you lose a friend in the way
National Sales Head Cipla Oncology
5 年Superb SIR
Chief HR Officer @ Fresenius Kabi, South Asia | PCC - ICF I Top Leadership Award I Top Employer Certification I LinkedIn Top Voice I Student of Psychology I Loves Technology I Building Culture. All views are personal
5 年Appreciate your perspective. However, we are talking in different context.
Regional Manager having a decade of hardcore experience in Cardio Diabetic & General segments
5 年Thanks Sir. It's a Real Eye Opener for all of us . But Sir towards Commanding one should have the Demand in Mind... As without demanding within our Soul....can't proceed ahead..