A Delightful Way to Celebrate the First 00:00 am 2021

It’s one hour before 2021 comes. Some people may gather with family excitingly waiting for the countdown to start, some are still preparing foods to enjoy, others may still figure out what to eat or even to do to end the year, and probably most people are already sleeping as this year is totally different with the WFH condition that is already part of their daily routines and think it’s just another 00:00 am to skip.

But beyond of these captures, I also believe there are many people who do some reflective session with their own, seeing their journey across 2020, momentums to remember, and people to be grateful for. And usually, it ends with resolutions for the upcoming year. And that would be the interesting part.

We keep having a resolution list every year as if there is no solution completely well. We make a commitment on New Year's Day, a promise to ourselves to do or to not do something. Which part is interesting in having this? Well, it is the list. Try to ask yourself, from all resolutions you have on that list, how many of them you finally committed to and get the result of it. Even if you have only one resolution, have you considered why you are having that resolution to commit in the very beginning, what outcome(s) you want to achieve? What makes your resolution list different from your grocery list? Who do you want to be?

It sounds harsh but please forgive my pick of words and wasting your 3 minutes of time reading this. If you answer those questions and lead to confusion, why don’t we drop this annual activity and start a new thing. Let's play with your HABITS through an exercise I learned as a REGULAR REFLECTION which you can start now and regularly doing it daily or weekly but not for the sake of monthly, quarterly, or even annually formality.

What is Regular Reflection? It’s a simple activity that reflects your new and old/usual habits against their impact on your life. If we draw a 2x2 matrix with a Y-axis consist of new and usual habits and the X-axis with negative and positive impacts, it would be like this

Now, let’s do these 4 wondows in 20 minutes. Start thinking about any new habit you have lately, and you considered it's giving a positive impact on your life. For example, spending 5 minutes in the morning with my kids right after they are awake just to be present makes me feel positive and gives my kids a sense of confidence to start the day. If you're having such habits then you should note it and commit to yourself to keep doing it.

Then move to the left window and think of one new habit that gives you nothing other than the feeling of regret and upset every time you finish doing it. In my case, this WFH situation makes me closer to the TV remote, and every time I have my break from my Francesco Cirillo's Pomodoro, I start taking over the remote and watch the TV serial on this flix channel. And it turned to ruin my Pomodoro cycle. And I must eliminate it and keep away from the remote.

Still, with the negative impacts on lower part of the window, start to think of any old or usual habit that you know for a long time is no use to keep it but you cannot drop it. Well, indeed you cannot. It’s in your rhyme already. You keep the Reminder (Cue) in your unconscious and keep taking advantage of its Reward by this Routine. Applying Charless Duhig's Habit Loop on this case, what you can do is preparing an action plan to change the Routine while keeping the Reminder and Reward. How does it work?

I give you my favorite example, I used to check things on my handphone right after I wake up. At first, it was because of the alarm that I set on my phone so definitely I had to pick it up to stop the ringing. Then I started to check on my messages, emails, and news just to make me feel updated in the morning. Nothing wrong with being updated but I realized that I feel disconnected from people around me. So, I change my routine. I keep the alarm on my phone, but now the alarm is set to a Drink Water Reminder so every time I pick my phone to stop the ringing, the first thing I see is the Bottle icon with its water inside which drive me to drink water right after I wake up rather than open any notifications. As a reward, I feel fresh and light and have more power over when I will update myself and prioritize which information I should read.

Any thought on that kind of habit? If you still confuse on how to work on this action plan, do message me and feel free to discuss or let's try a habit coaching instead. Last, think of any old/usual habit that always gives you more shine in life. And when you find it, start celebrating it. There is no need to have a fancy celebration, a blissful praying is enough. I sometimes add it with a bit of almond chocolate. No example from me on what habit I celebrate. I do not want to bias your body system to recognize it.

Since it is more or less 30 minutes to the end of the year, it is a good time for you to decide things to celebrate that kind of habit while enjoying the year 2020 ended with the hope that this pandemic is also ending soon, and we could embrace 2021 with a better version of yourself in a better world of ours. Now, you have a new way to put a resolution into a realistic, continuum, and practicable commitment. By the way, it’s also good to make the health protocol become our habit, if you feel it is not a habit yet.

With New Hope, See You in 2021!

Happy New Year!

Ari Yuda Laksmana, ACC

(Leadership & Habit Coach)