Deliberate Leadership: Practical Self-Reflection

Deliberate Leaders know that self-awareness is fundamental to emotional intelligence.? Deliberate leaders are acutely aware of how they show up, the impact of their behaviours on others and they are consistently looking for ways to improve their performance.?

But how do we increase our self-awareness?

To increase our self-awareness we benefit from engaging all our senses.? This requires us to slow down and think intentionally about what we are experiencing.? Where are you right now as you read this?? Are you still, in a chair, or in transit???? What can you see, hear, smell, taste and touch?? What’s happening around you?? Can you see blue sky?? Can you hear birds?? Can you hear an engine?? Are there people talking, laughing, observing?? Is there the smell of coffee, or the ocean, food, or fresh rain?? Can you taste anything?? Are you holding anything in your hands???? If you have been able to tune into any of your senses, you are aware. You have a sense of awareness.? You are tuned into yourself and what is happening around you.? Perhaps you have noticed something in the environment you are in right now that you hadn’t before.? Time to become aware has helped you to tune in.

Awareness, and particularly self-awareness is a slow game.??? It’s not very reactive. We have a greater opportunity to be more self-aware when we are slower, more deliberate and considered.?

In researching the various definitions of self-awareness, I like this one.?

“Self-awareness is an inwardly focused evaluative process in which individuals make self/standard comparisons with the goal of better self-knowledge and improvement” Ashley and Reiter-Palmon.? ?

Inward focus is about looking in and considering the impact of our behaviour. Making a self-comparison is focused on me.? How did I react last time this thing happened?? What’s worked well for me previously?? How will I now tune in to see what I need to do?? What impact did my behaviour have on others?? Do I need to do anything about that impact?

Better self-knowledge and improvement are about a deeper understanding of self. Knowing how I react, respond, and then behave.? Making choices about the circumstances I expose myself to and understanding the consequences of those choices.? Making choices that are better for me, and that limit any negative impact on others, while leaving me in a positive mental state.? Self-awareness is about looking inwards, assessing self, and improving to increase effectiveness and mitigate negative impacts.?

Self -Awareness in Leadership

The constant spotlight of leadership is like a growth tonic.? The outcome will be growth.? You are constantly adapting, evolving, responding, reacting, and planning for the circumstances you and those you lead find themselves in. It is not always comfortable under the spotlight.? It can get hot under the searing light sometimes impacting the decisions you might make, how you might make them, and the impact of those decisions on others.??? Growth can be uncomfortable too.? It can hurt.? My children have complained about growing pains over the years, and there is a valid reason.? As we grow, things stretch, bones and muscles move, our body’s scaffolding is trying to accommodate the expansion, the movement and growth.? By the time we grow into the leader we aspire to be, and we have grown in one direction, it’s time to grow in a new area.?? Our growth doesn’t stop, and it doesn’t even pause.? It evolves.?

Self -awareness allows us to better understand what we need to lubricate the growth.? What do we need to make it more comfortable and easier?? Is it better communication?? A focus on trust in our relationships?? More attentiveness to our strategy and how to execute it?? An understanding of our leadership style?? This will enable a better growth experience.? ?Not a painless one necessarily, but a more aware experience.???

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Rita Cincotta helps leaders to be more deliberate.? ?She works with leaders and organisations to develop human centred solutions that help people and businesses to thrive.