DELIBERATE CALM
Paul Childs
Professional Corporate Executive ● Project Management Consultant ● Crisis Management ● Change Agent ● CEO Advisor
The US Airways plane lost power as the smell of smoke and jet fuel filled the cabin.? Hundreds of birds hit the engines on take-off
Captain Sully Sullenberger had seconds to make a decision.
He was losing power so rapidly he couldn’t make it to Teterboro airport only 10 miles to the west.?
In the few seconds, he made the critical decision to land the plane in the Hudson River, there was no one more present in the moment than Captain Sully Sullenberger??
He was unnaturally calm.?
When asked later how he maintained his cool he said he was practicing what pilots called Deliberate Calm.??
Scientists call this Metacognition.? It allows a person to remain calm when every bone in their body is telling them to panic
Soldiers must make complicated battlefield decisions; investors must choose when to sell in a sinking market; Business Owners must figure out how to navigate a turbulent economy.
We all can look past our primal emotions and carefully think about how we need to think.?
What if you could spend the majority of your day in this place of presence.?
BE PRESENT. STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD
The ability to be present, in the moment, without judgment is one of the keys to high-performance leadership.??
Phil Jackson wrote in his book 5 Rings “A high performing leader is a mysterious juggling act that requires not only a thorough knowledge of the time-honored laws of the life, but also an open heart, a clear mind, and a deep curiosity about the ways of the human spirit.”
In this post, I’m going to show you a couple of tips on exactly how to get there.
BECOME AN ANTHROPOLOGIST?
Think about what an anthropologist does.? They simply observe. They're not emotionally involved.??
They go into the jungle and they observe the lions on one side of a field and the zebras on the other.?
They're grazing together.?
Most good anthropologists are not going to run up to the zebras and say, ”You guys look stressed.? You must be worried about being eaten by the lions at any moment.??
Here, have some Xanax.? Relax. Do you have anxiety?? Let’s talk about it.”
Why is that so absurd?? Because animals don't do that.? Only people.?
Anthropologists don't get emotionally involved with what they are observing.
BE THE OBSERVER
There are three basic positions from which we perceive reality.?
Ordinarily, we move among these perceptual positions unconsciously.
Even though we are always the same person, there is a subtle shift in identity with each change of position.
Self Position is a feeling position where you are associated in your own body, looking out through your own eyes.?
If you are triggered, you will automatically go to Self Position, feeling what is triggered in you.?
Other Position is a feeling where you are associated, with another person, as if you are looking out through their eyes, feeling some of their sensations and emotions.?
Observer Position is a neutral position where you are disassociated from both Self and Other and are able to observe patterns of relating.??
Become the Observer.? This is the anthropologist.
PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING
There is a saying that if you want to be interesting, be interested.?
Make people talk about themselves.? They’ll think you're the greatest person they ever met.??
They call this active listening.??
The next time you have a conversation with someone only ask questions.??
Never make a statement. Do this for 5 minutes.? Then end the conversation.? Its harder than you think.
If they ask you a question, respond with a question of your own? Be curious about who they are and how they see the world.
You must do two things in this moment:?
This work is about the study of the patterns of behavior and the environment in which people operate in.?
Sometimes people complain about the very environment that they created.?
Environment shapes behavior and behavior shapes the environment.?
Sometimes we’re too much being the victim of circumstances to ever realize that we created the very environment in which we complain in the first place.
If you create a toxic environment you will never get good results because plants don’t grow in bad soil.
Make better decisions.? Get extraordinary results.? Practice active listening and deliberate calm.?