DEI - Invited to Prom, but not asked to Dance!

In 1995, my junior year of high school, I almost didn’t finish due to a severe case of mono. I was out for nearly two months, and I begged my parents not to send me back to school - or at least send me to a different school. The bullying and threats were too much that year and I became fearful for my life. A teacher - a fucking teacher - even told me to “watch my back.”

I returned to school and spent the majority of the remaining year in the principal’s office as an office aid instead of regularly attending class. My sister was asked to prom by the kid who bullied me the most. She was a sophomore, and was asked by the person who caused me the most pain, and is now a minister.

It was a small school, and my graduating class only consisted of twenty students - to give you an idea of how small. It was always a prom tradition at our school for the Juniors to “will” each Senior some ability as they were moving on after graduation. The Seniors would always provide a “prophecy” to each of the Juniors.

I didn’t go to my Junior prom for obvious reasons. My sister came home later that evening and told me about a joke the Seniors pulled during the “prophecy” announcements. The President and Vice President of the Seniors read off my prophecy to the entire prom, “Clint Bradley will take over FFA (Future Farmers of America) and will turn it into “Future Fags of America.”

I asked my sister if anyone stopped them and she said no. She hesitantly told me the Seniors cheered and laughed. Not one teacher stopped them! And no one was disciplined. I went to school on Monday to discover the “wills” and “prophecies” had been posted on the student bulletin.

I often think of that memory and the times I've been bullied and marginalized at work. Sure - I'll get invited to the company Christmas party, but I can't bring my same-sex partner, spouse, date, and we certainly can't dance.

In 2008 I began working for a global manufacturer of electronic components as the Recruiting and Training Manager. The company was locally known for their "spare no expenses" Christmas Parties. I was excited about attending my first company party after receiving a formal invitation in the mail with RSVP. Like any formal RSVP, there was a place to mark my meal of choice: beef, chicken, fish, vegetarian. There was also a place to write in your plus-one.

I had been with the organization for nearly a year when I walked into the HR office to find our coordinator silently crying. Being the empath I am - it was difficult to ignore and not ask why she was crying. She handed me a memo that went out company-wide from the President & CEO's office that morning:

"There has been some confusion as to who your plus-one can be at the company Christmas party this year. We define a plus-one as someone you are married to, or someone the state of Missouri says you're legally allowed to marry."

It was an election year and Obama had just been named the first Black President of the United States. We knew the President and CEO was a major contributor to the conservative support and Republican party. I went directly to my boss, the Director of Human Resources, to address the unethical memo and how it marginalizes and discriminates against someone like me, our coordinator, and so many others. "We've done nothing illegal," she replied.

You might think this is rare. But - like my High School Prom - we might get invited to work, participate, and attend, but we won't get asked to dance.

https://youtu.be/Zt9v3f35l5Y