DEI: The Carnival of Inclusion Where Everyone's Invited, But No One Knows Why!

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

Just the sound of it sends tingles down your spine these days, doesn’t it? It’s like the perfect blend of corporate virtue signalling with a splash of moral superiority.

Imagine it: those warm fuzzies, that buzz of righteousness as we gather ‘round the table, because everyone must have a seat at that table.

And not just any seat, but one that’s fully adjustable to accommodate every identity, opinion, and grievance.

But here’s where it all starts to fall apart: the table’s getting too crowded, the chairs too wobbly, and we’ve banged on about it so much that we’ve forgotten why we started in the first place.

It’s all rhythm and no melody; a corporate tambourine being banged about with no idea what tune it’s meant to accompany.

And who’s conducting this orchestra of confusion?

The HR departments, and DEI specialists; and of course the C-suite and BoDs are kind of forced to play along (in most part) to avoid the back-lash. They’re patting themselves on the back so hard, it’s a wonder they haven’t dislocated a shoulder by now.

They sit there, nodding along like they’ve discovered the panacea in fixing the world’s ills.

“What we need,” they say, with the gravitas of someone delivering the Sermon on the Mount, “is a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion committee.”

Naturally, everyone else nods along because to disagree is to brand yourself as a social outcast, and nobody wants that, do they?

So, the DEI committees are born, the initiatives launched, and the corporate virtue signalling machine goes into overdrive.

But the rub is; much like the Emperor’s new clothes, there’s not much substance beneath all that dazzling presentation.

DEI reports are churned out by the dozen, filled with impressive-sounding numbers and colourful charts, but they’re as useful as a chocolate teapot. It all looks very lovely, but try to actually achieve anything meaningful with it, and it quickly melts into a sticky mess.

The Big Confusion: What’s DEI Actually For?

The problem with DEI is that it’s become such a vague, catch-all term that no one really knows what it’s supposed to achieve anymore.

• Is it about giving everyone an equal shot?
• Is it about ensuring that workplaces are representative of the broader society?
• Is it about righting the wrongs of historical injustices?
• Or is it just about making sure no one gets offended at the office Christmas party?

The truth is, it’s all of these things, and none of them.

We’re measuring diversity with metrics dreamt up by people who wouldn’t recognise reality if it slapped them in the face with a soggy slice of toast.

Take those diversity quotas, for example. They’re like confetti; very pretty, but try to pin down what they’re actually doing, and they float away on the breeze, leaving you none the wiser.

While everyone’s busy clapping themselves on the back for “promoting diversity,” no one’s stopping to ask whether any of it is actually working.

Are these initiatives creating real opportunities, or are they just ticking boxes to satisfy the corporate overlords?

And while we’re at it, why does no one seem to care about merit anymore?

Remember meritocracy?

It’s like an old sitcom that’s been pushed aside for the latest reality TV show; flashy and entertaining, but devoid of any real substance.

The “Inclusion” Paradox: Excluding in the Name of Inclusion

Now, here’s where it gets really, really interesting; or downright baffling, depending on your point of view!

In our quest for inclusion, we’ve somehow managed to make things more exclusionary than ever.

We’ve divided ourselves into so many identity-based groups that it’s starting to feel like a corporate version of “Game of Thrones,” where every faction is vying for a bigger slice of the diversity pie.

Take the endless string of “Women in Tech,” “Women in Leadership,” “Women in AI” groups (which, by the way, are brilliant and absolutely needed).

These are vital spaces for empowerment and recognition, and no one’s disputing that.

But what happens when someone, perhaps a bit tone-deaf but well-meaning, suggests,

“Why don’t we have a ‘Men in AI’ group?”

Oh, imagine the horror!

Twitter might explode.

SJWs will have a melt-down.

Hell, the Internet might even Break!

Suddenly, the well-meaning soul is branded as a dinosaur, a relic of the past clinging onto the last vestiges of a crumbling patriarchy.

The irony here? The idea of a men’s group is instantly shunned in the name of “inclusion.”

We’ve crafted such a fragile narrative around diversity that even the idea of allowing men to uplift themselves becomes a threat to the very foundation of progress.

And let’s not even get started on America’s obsession with identity politics, where everyone’s hyphenated: African-American, Asian-American, Latino-American.

But woe betide you if you’re white and try to hyphenate yourself.

That’s a one-way ticket to being labelled tone-deaf or worse. It’s an odd system, this, you’d think the idea was to bring people together under one common identity, but instead, we’re carving ourselves into smaller and smaller pieces, each one more defensive and entitled than the last.

So, let me throw out a radical idea: how about just being American? Or British, or Indonesian, or whatever country you’re from?

Can we all just rally under one flag and figure out how to get along, apparently not!

Because focusing on what unites us seems far too quaint an idea for the modern DEI movement.

The Meritocracy Meltdown: When Talent Took a Backseat

Now, let’s turn to the biggest casualty of the DEI revolution: Merit!

Meritocracy, where did you go?

There was once a time, not so long ago, when the best person for the job got the job.

It was simple, clean, and above all, fair. You worked hard, you earned your place, and that was that.

But meritocracy, much like a humble paper map in the age of GPS, has been relegated into the history books? in favour of shiny new diversity quotas.

These days, it’s not about who’s the best fit for the job, but who ticks the most diversity boxes.

Got the right demographic mix on your team? Brilliant, you’re sorted. Never mind if the team’s a dysfunctional mess, at least it looks good on the corporate diversity report!

Some US states have even gone as far as to mandate that companies can’t go public without a certain number of DEI hires on their boards.

It’s no longer “Who’s best equipped to steer the ship?”, but “Do we have enough diversity tokens on the bridge?”

It’s like running a football team and selecting players based on how good they look in the kit, rather than how well they can play the game.

Sure, you might win some style points, but good luck winning the match.

And before you start sharpening your pitchforks, let’s be clear: Diversity is Important.

It brings fresh perspectives, fosters innovation, and helps create a more inclusive workplace. But not at the expense of competence.

Diversity and Meritocracy are not mutually exclusive;

but the way things are going, it seems we’ve forgotten that.

We’re so busy patting ourselves on the back for “promoting diversity” that we’ve lost sight of what really matters: hiring the best person for the job.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Right, so we’ve established that DEI, in its current form, is more of a carnival than a coherent strategy.

But before we all throw in the towel and head off to live on a deserted island, let’s think about how we can fix it.

Because believe it or not, there is a way forward, and it doesn’t involve throwing out the entire concept of DEI.

Here are a few modest suggestions to help us find our way out of this mess:

1. Bring Back Meritocracy

It’s time to dig meritocracy out from under the mountain of diversity initiatives and give it a good polish. Diversity is great, but it should complement merit, not replace it.

The best person for the job should get the job, full stop. If that person also happens to tick a diversity box, brilliant! But let’s not forget that competence comes first.

2. Stop Obsessing Over Identity

Identity is important, but it’s not the be-all and end-all. Instead of constantly dividing ourselves into smaller and smaller groups, let’s focus on where people are going, not just where they came from.

Celebrate their skills, their achievements, and their potential, not just their labels.

3. Measure What Actually Matters

If you’re going to promote diversity, at least have the decency to track if it’s doing any good. Are your diversity initiatives creating real opportunities, or are they just feel-good exercises?

Look beyond the numbers and ask whether your workplace is truly more inclusive, or if it’s just playing the diversity game.

4. Drop the Virtue Signalling

Enough with the hashtags and the token gestures. If you want to be inclusive, just be inclusive.

Actions speak louder than words, and nothing says “we care” more than actually giving people a fair shot, rather than just talking about it.

5. Celebrate Our Commonalities

Instead of constantly focusing on what divides us, let’s start celebrating what unites us. After all, we’re all in this together.

Whether you’re black, white, brown, or purple with green spots, we all want the same thing: to be valued for who we are and what we bring to the table.

The Road Ahead: A Happy Ending?

So, where does that leave us? In a bit of a pickle, to be honest.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. If we can just peel back the layers of DEI’s bloated bureaucracy and rediscover the core principles of fairness and opportunity, we might just end up with a system that works.

One where diversity is celebrated, but merit is valued above all. One where inclusion means everyone, not just the loudest voices in the room.

And who knows?

Maybe, just maybe, we’ll end up with a workplace where people are hired for their talents, celebrated for their contributions, and united by a common purpose.

Now wouldn’t that be something?

Cheers.

Minn Tun