DEI: Allies, It's Time To Get Comfortable With Your Uncomfortability...

Note: This article may contain content that can be triggering, such as reference to mass violence, genocide, and racism. Opinions in this piece are my own.

Tomorrow, June 1st, is the start of Pride month globally, and National Indigenous History Month in Canada. It is also 4 days since the remains of 215 Indigenous children who were victims of the genocide from government organized residential schools, were discovered at one residential school site in British Columbia, Canada. It's a somber reminder that while celebratory months exist to honor and celebrate strides in inclusion and diversity for marginalized communities, we cannot celebrate without the recognition that celebration and reconciliation is juxtaposed with the ongoing trauma and impacts of bigotry, racism, and vile human history that still plagues us with its impacts today - despite efforts to sometimes cover up with social media banners and once a year corporate celebratory flags. It's a reminder that we cannot claim to be agents of reconciliation until the truths are not only heard, but believed and actioned.

We've been told the stories of trauma, abuse, and shame caused by residential schools, the 60s scoop, and the ongoing systematic racism oppressing Indigenous communities in Canada for generations by survivors who experienced it firsthand (and who continue to experience it), but it takes the remains of 215 children to be uncovered for us to truly believe and see the extent of the genocide that took place. We've read Phyllis' story, which prompted the start of Orange Shirt Day. We've heard Charlie Pete's & Jimmy Dennis' story in North Boys: The Story of Jimmy & Charlie - where they themselves candidly discuss having to bury class mates in mass graves. We've heard hundreds of stories from survivors about the vitriol racism, violence, and hate they experienced firsthand... Yet why does it take the undercovering of mass graves at residential schools to prove truth (also, why haven't we done similar surveys and searches at ALL residential schools)? Why does it take 8 people killed of Asian descent to recognize that anti-Asian sentiment is real? Why does it take 49 people at a gay nigh club being killed to recognize anti-LGBTQ2IA+ rhetoric is tangible? And why do we need a video 9 minutes in length showing the murder of George Floyd to prove that excessive police violence and racism is rampant? Why are the words of survivors and those who experience systematic oppression not enough to warrant a wakeup call?

To many people from marginalized communities that feel the impacts of systematic oppression, these stories are painful reminders and truths of real lived experiences, yet as those who reap the rewards of a system created on oppression, ignorance and the ability to downplay and gaslight other's trauma is rampant by many. The greatest desolation we have embraced in society is the constant seeking of gratification, and within that, the ignorance some communities can afford to avoid any action that shifts us from this gratification. As a white person, I can avoid reading certain news stories or listening to people of color's experiences, because I myself receive the rewards of a white supremacy created society and could be ignorant to these lived experiences, but being able to sit in the uncomfortability of other's stories and truths, despite my feelings of dread or discomfort is how I become a better ally It's how we all become better allies. At the heart of The Truth & Reconciliation Commission of Canada's (TRC) mission was first to hear the truth of survivors, because without truth, we cannot even begin to start reconciling for the atrocities of our past. While the 94 calls to action from the TRC aim to progress the act of reconciliation in Canada, we cannot progress to true reconciliation until truths are heard, recognized, and at its core - believed.

You may be reading this and thinking "Okay Laurie, fine, but how does this cross over on LinkedIn? Why are you posting this?" Because staying silent instead of speaking up against heinous Canadian racism and history allows me to stay complicit, even though allyship is about speaking out even when it's not convenient, regardless of the situation. I also feel obligated to post knowing that we are about to see a sea of corporate marketing based on rainbows and profiting off the queer community, while in turn doing nothing to create more inclusive hiring practices or a company culture that celebrates queer culture year-round, instead using Pride as a free PR campaign. Same goes for companies celebrating National Indigenous History Month. I also know we're about to see a ton of companies and voices saying they support Indigenous communities through this difficult and trying time, and will use this as a moment to reflect on Indigenous reconciliation, but again, not offer tangible real partnership or opportunities, per call-to-action number 92 of the TRC calls to action on businesses to take part and be held accountable in reconciliation. Watch for the performative allyship and recognize when you or your company are partaking. People from marginalized communities will see right through you and can tell when one is seeking a gold star instead of action and true allyship. Instead of jumping on a PR stunt, take the time to listen to people's truth and lean into that uncomfortability.

So, what can companies and employees do? First, listen to employees and work on addressing culture that was created to oppress. Create safer spaces for employees to share their truths, and offer up supports and systems that can help employees through, such as mental health benefits and EFAPs. As a Campus Recruiter, there are tons of programs created to help young job-seeking candidates from marginalized communities to "get ready" for the corporate world. Maybe instead of creating more prep programs aimed at embracing our existing corporate cultures and practices aimed to oppress those who don't fit the mold (which, again, is based on systematic oppression), we work on getting the workplace ready for hires from marginalized communities instead. Maybe we shift the existing paradigm to something that embraces diversity instead of expecting it to fit the status quo. On the word of fit - throw it out - move from fit to thrive. Why are we looking for fit when we thrive off diverse opinions and experiences? Is your inability to see your unconscious biases impeding you from making the right hiring decisions? Are you staying current on education related to social issues not only impacting your own communities? Look at your teams - are you a leader saying you care about diversity, but your workplace reflects otherwise? Who is on your C-suite? Who are making the decisions? Who are getting the promotions? The raises? The opportunities? Who are you terminating and why? Do you hold your staff from marginalized communities to a higher standard than those from non-marginalized communities? Are you willing to step aside and address these questions even if it means you have to take a step back to amplify diverse voices? Does your company have employee resource groups (ERGs) and communities that embrace diversity and allow for unique perspectives and experiences? Maybe controversial, but is your company PAYING people who lead and run ERGs for the additional emotional turmoil and baggage that they may have to deal with to be tokenized or represent an entire population while leading these groups (and also doing their main jobs on top of it)? Do your employees get time and pay to attend training or inclusive learning opportunities? Who does your organization partner with? What are the causes they actively participate in and do they support the missions and goals listed on your company website? Removing the ignorance and addressing privilege to answer some of the tough questions by leaning into the uncomfortability of it all is how we grow and continue to create more equitable, diverse, and inclusive spaces. At the heart of everything is compassion, listening, and empathy, but to get there we need to first remove the barriers we've created to protect us from feeling uncomfortable.

Before I went into my Business degree I was pursuing a Sociology degree. I had a class called "Theories of Race". White people hated this class or would avoid taking it - I was told by people to drop the class because I would hate it and feel attacked or fail... First day of class we all sat nicely in our rows. The professor came in and first thing she said was to move the desks to the walls and form a circle with our chairs, so we did. There were your standard readings and papers, but the hardest and best learning I ever had in any class my entire university career was sitting in a circle and actively hearing the stories of my classmates and the lived experiences they shared. To be honest, a lot of people did drop the class. I almost did on a few occasions, because nothing is more eye opening than realizing that you have racist biases and that you are reaping the rewards of a culture and society made to oppress others, then actually having to look your classmates in the eye as they shared their truths. I myself always thought I was inclusive and a supporter of diversity (being part of the LGBTQ2IA+ community myself), but I was doing it for selfish reasons and recognition, and for the first time I had to take a hard look in the mirror and at my motives, and who I actually was as a person and an ally. This was the hardest class of my degree, and I couldn't just try and be "teacher's pet" or give the answers my teacher wanted, because I didn't have them. Even more eye opening was hearing my classmate’s stories. Being able to hear their experiences, connect, and become friends forces you to look racism and why you're uncomfortable in the eye, especially when you have a name and face to attach to it. What we need is more listening, more empathy, and more understanding of humans and their lived experiences. I had to lean into that uncomfortability to learn, and from this space was where I did the most growth. From this experience, I was able to create more altruistic motives and ideations of what being an ally meant to me and actually live it.

It's comfortable to stay sheltered, or avoid negative news stories, or to continue on the way things have always been. It's harder to lean into that uncomfortability, look racism in the face, and sit in the feelings instead of seeking that instant gratification that allows ignorance to flourish. In the words of The Honorable Murray Sinclair "It’s not just a part of who we are as survivors – it’s a part of who we are as a nation." As a Canadian, I will do my part to continue to listen and absorb the lived experiences of the survivors of the residential school system and the heinous acts of racism and trauma caused by settlers and our own government. It is my obligation. I will continue to lean into my uncomfortability and urge other allies to do the same, as from this uncomfortability and willingness to listen to truth comes the ability for us to truly reflect and grow from where we are today, and allows us to create more a more inclusive future going forward.