The Definition of an Ignorant Voter

(Sarcasm Included at No Extra Charge)

By Ken Simmons?

It never ceases to amaze me when I discover the reasons why many people vote in our national elections. Some consistently vote right down the party line, and although that’s not always the smartest way to determine how you vote, it still doesn’t qualify you as an ignorant voter.

But voting in our presidential elections has become little more than a popularity contest for all too many. When a voter ignores the critical issues that affect every American, and votes because his candidate is popular, or because his party is voting for him or her, rather than voting for that which is best for America, now we’re creeping into the ignorant voter category. Let’s see if we can peek a little deeper into what makes an ignorant voter.

In this effort, we’re going to try hard to focus on this ignorant voter concept as it relates to the political landscape of today, 2024 in America. We’re about to nail down the qualifications for who is truly an ignorant voter.

The voter we’ve chosen is Mr. John Q. Public, and John Q says, “I liked how much cheaper it was to fill my gas tank a few years ago, and it really guts me that prices have now more than doubled, but I hate Donald Trump, so I’m going to vote for the other guy in the next election.” John Q, you’ve just elevated your possible standing in the contest for the most ignorant voter in America. Keep it up and you just might win the Grand Prize.

John Q goes on to say, “I truly liked the fact that we had a secure border, and I’m really upset that we now have between 10 and 18 million illegal aliens in America. We have no idea who they are, why they're here, what they stand for, or worse yet, what dangers they pose for America. But because I hate Donald Trump I’m gonna vote for the other guy, you know, the one who can’t remember where he is, and his wife sometimes has to lead him around by the hand.”

That’s one more point for you, John Q, and you’ve nailed down your position as a potential winner as a really ignorant voter. If you keep it up you may even be voted as America’s Most Ignorant Voter of The Year. Don’t quit now JQ – you’re on a roll.

John Q elaborates: “I understand that my party is going to fight any attempts to require voter I.D. laws in the next election, which will most certainly allow tens of thousands, maybe even millions, of people who are in our country illegally to vote, but that’s okay because I hate Donald Trump, so I will make certain I cast my vote for that angry old guy, you know, the one who snaps at reporters for not asking him the pre-approved questions and swears he “never, ever, ever, and under no circumstances,” had any involvement with his son’s business dealings. I like the idea that he’s got the guts to lie about it, so he’s got my vote for sure.”

John Q continues, “I went to the grocery store today and my wife and I commented just how much we miss the prices we paid just a few years ago. Today they’ve skyrocketed, and now I sometimes have no choice but to pay for groceries with my credit card. I’m even angrier that we have to skip a few meals from time to time, but I hate Donald Trump, so I’m going to vote for that other guy. He’s the one who stumbles a lot and who likes to sniff other women's hair.” You’re almost there John Q, let’s see if we can get you across the finish line.

John Q goes on to say, “I heard that we may be close to World War III and that Iran is only days away from getting a nuclear weapon. We’ve managed to give them billions and billions of our taxpayer dollars, for God knows what, and they're using that money to cause all kinds of trouble around the world. Through their actions, their proxies have caused the deaths of many Americans in the Middle East. China is threatening to invade our ally, Taiwan, and they’ve been warning us, saying we'd better not interfere ‘or else.’ But I hate Donald Trump so I’m going to vote for that older guy. He's the one who, while he was Vice President, kept stacks of classified documents in his garage, his home, and who knows where else, and he basically told his Justice Department, that rather than being concerned about his little mistake, they should instead go after Trump for his great big mistake of having classified docs at Mar-A-Lago.”

John Q continues, “Now I hear that Russia has parked a nuclear submarine in Cuba, just 90 miles from our shore, and it's loaded with nuclear warheads and hypersonic missiles, but I must admit, I’m a life-long party member, and I hate Donald Trump, so I’m going to continue to vote for that other guy, you know, the one who’s under investigation for receiving $19.3 million in influence peddling money he received from Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Romania, et al . . . I sure hope he finds a way to nail that Trump guy, and he’s got my vote for sure.”

John Q, Congratulations, you’ve done it. You’ve won the Grand Prize as the most ignorant, and yes, even the most stupid, voter of all time. Welcome, and Uncle Joe thanks you for joining his club.