Defining Who

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

This question was asked of the class when I was in middle school.

I was just reminded of it this past week, and as I reflected on this memory, I also remembered that it was an odd question to begin with.

Let's think about it, the question intends to get us to think about what types of careers we may want to be in when we grow up, right? But it could mean something else entirely.

What prompted me to reflect on this question stems from several years of constant communication with neurodiverse people, who at times have taken things very literally. Growing up in the 80s with the need to be in front of people most of the time when communicating, forces you to watch body language and address the context of the entire communication process. Online, however, much of that context is gone... but I digress...

Back to that question, and how it relates to being a parent of my non-verbal autistic son. What does he want to be when he grows up is a question that only he can answer. Shoot, it's really a question that only that specific individual could answer (autistic or not). It's up to the parent to seek, encourage, and discover what their kid wants to do - so they can help their kid at a level their kid wants to succeed towards that goal.

However, maybe the question shouldn't be 'what', but rather 'who'. Doesn't that weigh more in the grand scheme of things?

Just one word here can change the perspective of WHO someone is, compared to WHAT they do.

Let's be honest, if you've lived long enough, you've had many different jobs or careers as you've gone through life. What you do is a matter of perspective and circumstances that lead to specific choices needing to be made. What we do doesn't necessarily define who we are, right?

If we switch up and ask, "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" maybe, just maybe our answers would provide a better perspective... or at least some thoughtful discussion.

I've struggled to discover 'what' my son wants to do when he grows up. Much of this struggle is due to the challenges associated with his ability to communicate in a way that we neurotypical folks can understand, and I'm not just speaking about his limited ability to speak verbally. Some weeks his interest resides in the ocean, other weeks it's in more things mechanical. Interests always change, as it often does with anyone. Suffice it to say, that this will be an ongoing process. However, I've learned that this process goes much easier when I learn more about WHO he is as a person.

The good news is that he is constantly helping me discover WHO he is, and this allows me to help him discover what he wants to do in life as a potential career. Or at least a career path that he can start with that will coincide with who he is as a person. The skill here is an acquired one, as I've had to practice listening and observing him and his actions. After all, there can be much that goes unnoticed in this process.

This transcends, I think, beyond being a special needs parent... and might be something many parents and professionals might want to consider as they do all that they can for their kids. I'm sure many of us need all the help we can get, even if it's a different perspective for a moment.

Oh, my answer to that question back in that middle school class? A fighter pilot. I don't think I followed that path, even remotely. Leave a comment with your answer.

I'll share this and more on an upcoming Autisable-Dads-Podcast episode.

Now for the Podcast News…

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And now, for more!

Sometimes an individual and organization need a bit of a shoutout, as they are making great strides in helping the autism community in some way. Here is this week's highlight:

1. Rob Gorski - my friend and fellow Autism Dad. You can find him at The Autism Dad, LLC and hear him on his podcast The Autism Dad, available on most streaming services.
2. Autism Radio - with their flagship show HOPE Saves the Day, hosted by Paul Cimins is on iHeart Radio nationwide, and their podcast is on many streaming platforms. They help many autism families with a variety of services available nationwide!
3. MyABA.Today - a recommended directory for families to find ABA Therapists. Also, a means for families to rate and review practices. Are you an ABA Therapist? Join and Create your listing for FREE.
4. MySLP.Today - a recommended directory for families to find a speech therapist. Also, a means for families to rate and review therapists. Are you a Speech Pathologist? Join and Create your listing for FREE.
5. MSP Design Group - a promotional marketing company that helps you sell more of your product or service, engage with prospects, influencers, and your community and motivate your employees.

Thank you again for subscribing and being a part of this journey.