Defining success: there's more to it than happiness V material gain

8 YEARS AGO: I lived in the South of France, owning two properties and two cars. I made stacks of money each year from my business yet worked only a 30 hour week. I spent loads of time with my two young daughters and crazy pooch and I took skiing/snowboarding holidays each year.

Was that success? ... I haven't yet mentioned the destructive marriage where I was the victim of domestic abuse for many years and which darkened each and every aspect of my life at that time. Not even the sunshine of Southern France could make up for it!

6 YEARS AGO:

At the tender age of 35, I moved back into my parents house in Birmingham, UK. I was now divorced and as a result of the settlement, I had no savings, no properties, no dog, my access to children was only every other fortnight and my ex wife was indicating she'd restrict my access even further. As for the highly profitable business ... it crashed in the recession!

Was that failure? ... On the bright side, I was free and single again, I had a roof over my head with my super-cool parents and my daughters were at least back in the UK too.

3 YEARS AGO:

My totally awesome wife became pregnant with our joyful son, Oscar, who's now two and a bit! We bought a house together in Birmingham and not long after, we won custody of my two daughters. With the exception of trying to launch my new business, something which was proving extremely difficult to do, things were definitely on the up.

Was that success? ... Or did the shadows cast over my life by my business struggles downgrade my personal successes in some way?

TODAY: My work life is getting busier and I recently published my first book, The Impact Code - Unlocking Resilience, Productivity & Influence (available now on Amazon - https://goo.gl/nDaHKo).

My wife is pregnant again so we'll soon be family of 6 but my hair is finally turning from golden blonde to dirty grey and the wrinkles on my face bear testimony to the many sleepness nights caused by the constantly energetic Oscar!

Is this success? ... As you can probably guess, I'm curious about the notion of success and how we can truly define if we're being successful or not!

Some people measure their success according to the inventory of their materialistic gains and/or the rungs of the promotional ladder they've climbed. Others, ask themselves how happy they are and analyse the extent to which they've truly achieved balance in their life.

I BELIEVE THAT:

• You can feel successful about a specific event in your life whilst the rest of your life sucks, just as you can feel generally successful in life whilst completely screwing-up in a specific area of your life.
• There are a number of indicators of success in life, each of which is equally valid ... I can think of five!

1) Overcoming a challenge: however big or small and whether it was something unplanned or a goal you've been aiming to complete, each time you overcome a challenge, YOU'VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL!

2) Making a positive impact in your world: for those of you who've had the privilege of reading my recent book, The Impact Code - Unlocking Resilience, Productivity & Influence (Amazon link - https://goo.gl/nDaHKo) you'd know that key to our emotional well-being is the knowledge that we're making a positive impact in our world. In the areas of our life where we believe we're struggling to make an impact, the road to negativity followed by apathy can be perilously short. Whenever you make a positive impact on someone or something (however big or small) YOU'VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL!

3) Knowing you're more than OK with where you are in life: my first two points relate to separate events but the third relies on a wider analysis of how we feel about our life. Are we generally pleased with what we've accomplished and where we've so far come to? If the answer is "yes", YOU'RE A SUCCESS! (the rhyme in that last statement was honestly unintended)

4) Absence of negative mindset: success can also be measured by what is not present. Think about your life; your community, work, home, family, friends, leisure, spiritual life and physycial/mental well-being. Do you hold any grudges? Do you dread certain days of the week? Are there parts of your life where anger and frustration undermine your best intentions? If the answer is generally "no", YOU'RE A SUCCESS!

5) Material gains: of course money can't buy happiness and if you've worked your butt off to beef up your material gains, but you've no one to share it with and your health is iffy, it doesn't sound too successful to me! But for those of you who've achieved balance and who can apply yourself whilst juggling your various demands, material advancement does bring a real feeling of success.

Whilst my well-being does not rest on my material advancement, the fact that I can now afford to pay for a two week summer holiday with my family is a major success for me. It represents my progress and hard work whilst also reminding me of the gratitude I should feel, for the support given to me by my family and friends when times were tough. SO I'M A SUCCESS THEN ... TOTALLY AWESOME NEWS!

If you want more success in your life, develop your 3 critical life skills: resilience productivity & influence. To find out how, call me on 07760 444 946 and/or grab your copy of The Impact Code - Unlocking Resilience, Productivity & Influence (https://goo.gl/nDaHKo) and we'll get cracking. My surname may be Pain (which sadly has it's roots in English peasant stock) but I serve to minimise your pain whilst boosting your long term gain.