Defining Expectations

Most of our close personal and business relationships come with certain expectations of those close to us and the people we work with each day. Failure to meet these expectations is often the source of work and personal tension. When these tensions arise, we first blame the other person. While this may be a normal human tendency, we should first look at ourselves and determine if we have communicated our expectations.

As I have observed countless workplace interactions, reactions to the failure to meet expectations range from "they should know" to "I am going to have to let them go." Let’s examine the flaws in these initial reactions:

“They should know” – My first reaction to this is a simple question: "Why?" Inevitably, the response I hear is, "It’s their job. Therefore, they should know," or "They have been here long enough; they should know better." Not to be sarcastic, but that does not answer the question of why they do not know.

“It is common sense.” This denies the history and background of your counterpart. Common sense is defined by our personal culture, history, and past experiences. We cannot take for granted that each person views an issue or responsibility in the same way.

“I do not have time to teach them everything.” Learning as we go is a recipe for failure and the development of bad habits. Often, one of the top two complaints in work or personal relationships is a lack of communication.

“They are just going to have to figure it out the hard way.” There are many things wrong with this thought process. “Figuring it out the hard way” starts from a position of failure and little or no support. It guarantees an unhappy, unmotivated team. Nobody wants to walk into quicksand on purpose.

“I have had enough; I am going to …” Fill in the blank: give up, walk away, "write them up," let them go. If we have not clearly defined expectations, this will be the result.

I often have the opportunity to participate in company business meetings. Many times, not all, I witness messages that are watered down or softened to the extent that they are not received at all. Then, days later, I find managers who are frustrated with the lack of results and frustrated with their team.

Recently, I had an opportunity to meet with a manager who was frustrated with the lack of performance of their team. After months of work, they had made no headway on the company’s new direction. So much so, many members of their team had begun to give passive pushback against the much-needed changes. I asked and was permitted to attend the company's next management meeting.

After three pages of notes and one hour of quiet observation, the issue was crystal clear: there needed to be more clearly defined expectations and actions supporting the new direction.

Without violating the confidentiality of this company, let me give an example.

Let’s say Company A has decided to discontinue the sale of an unprofitable product.

The message delivery sounded much like this:

“Product ABC is not as profitable for the company as we would like. We would like you to avoid selling it to your customers as much as possible.”

How was the message received?

“We can still offer this product line if our customers need or want it.”

When I asked why the message was “watered down,” the response was, “We did not want to make people mad.”

You must ask yourself the question: which will make your team madder—a new direction for the company or smaller raises and no bonuses? It should be a simple choice. I choose a new, more prosperous direction.

How should the message be delivered?

“Effective immediately, due to Product ABC being unprofitable, we are discontinuing the sale of said product.”

In other cases of change:

“Our expectations are that you will embrace the direction of the company and provide all the support needed to ensure its success.”

“Your new responsibilities will include …”

“We expect you to perform the following five actions…”

Specifically defining expectations will sort the members of your team who are onboard from those who are not. It will allow clear rewards for successful execution and clear consequences for failure to execute.

Be clear and be rewarded.

Thank you,

Jay Toups