Defining Debate: The Art of Manipulation Through Persuasion
*Note from Phil: I truly believe that the first step in mastering how to debate begins with understanding what debate is. Unfortunately, many people have completely wrong ideas about debate which leads them to think that it’s an unnecessary skill to learn and it couldn’t benefit their lives to take the time to improve their abilities (or worse, they think they know how to debate, but they really don’t). Building a strong foundation based on accuracy, as opposed to mistaken beliefs, is how I’ve taught students throughout the United States, and coached lawyers, CEOs, politicians, and others worldwide in debate and public speaking. Accordingly, that’s where I’m starting here by introducing my (somewhat controversial) paradigm about what debate actually is. Hint: it’s in the title.
Have you ever wanted something from someone else? We all have! It’s such a stupidly simple concept that we experience every day, and we do it without even thinking.
We all ask for things from others.
The art of communication is of vital importance to your life.
This is exactly the reason why the earliest human civilizations evolved language: to facilitate the learning and use of tools and weapons, coordinate resource gathering and defense, and form relationships. Communication with other members of our tribe was a means to obtain things and coordinate activities in order to survive.
Today, communication is much faster and more complex. However, the goal is still the same: to interact with others to get what we want for living happy, healthy, and prosperous lives.
The simple truth is that you need to know how to effectively communicate to get what you want if you want to succeed in life; whether it’s at work, with family, in romance, among friends, or simply putting in your order at a restaurant. If you can communicate effectively, then you will go far. If you can’t, then your potential for success will be severely limited.
For example, research from Harvard, the Carnegie Foundation, and Stanford shows that 85% of your success at work depends on how well you communicate with others. Only 15% depends on your job skills and knowledge. In other words, your ability to effectively communicate is more than five times as important to your professional success than being good at your job.
Effective communication helps you build relationships, achieve goals, navigate challenges, and influence others. If you want something that others have (and you want to avoid the negative consequences of violently or mischievously obtaining it), then being able to get them on board with giving it to you becomes a necessity.
But what if they don’t want to give it to you? What if they even oppose you having it? What if somebody else wants it instead? Then you’ll need to learn how to manipulate the thoughts and actions of others through persuasion—in a word, debate.
Manipulation doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
I know what you’re thinking: you don’t want to manipulate. That’s a dirty word. When a romantic partner calls you “manipulating,” that’s the kind of thing you hear more often right before a breakup than before a wedding. Describing a coworker as “manipulative” is the kind of thing circulating the water cooler as a warning, rather than a commendation. “Manipulation” in society’s eyes is a negative characteristic and something to be scorned, not celebrated. However, this all stems from a negative connotation attributed to a colloquial (and uneducated) definition of the word that’s bastardized from its original meaning.
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The word “manipulate” comes from the Latin word “manus” (meaning “hand”). The original English context for the word referred to one’s skill in physically handling, turning, or reshaping something with their hands. When an artisan would turn, rotate, and reposition raw materials to shape, mold, and weave them into masterfully crafted final products, they would be described as manipulating those materials.
When you provide arguments to get someone else to think about something in a different way, choose one option over another, or act upon your recommendation or request, then you are attempting to change, reposition, or direct that person’s focus, thoughts, feelings, and actions. Just as the artisan did with the raw materials, you are manipulating that person. It's not about tricking someone or forcing them to do something they don't want to. It’s about persuasively advancing your ideas and others changing their thoughts and their actions in response thereto.
To be sure, this doesn’t have to be for ‘bad’ reasons. When a mother tells their child to brush their teeth and warns them about cavities, that’s not malicious. When you warn your friend about the cancer risk of smoking and tell them about how many people have found success in quitting by using nicotine patches, that’s not evil. And when my trainer shows me the calorie count of the large pizza that I scarfed down last night and points out that I still can’t fit back into my medium-sized clothes like I used to, that’s not diabolical (as much as it may hurt in the moment). All three of these examples demonstrate someone using persuasion to change the thoughts and actions of (a/k/a “manipulate”) another. But none of these three examples demonstrate malfeasance.
While I understand that nobody likes to think of themselves as losing the agency to think and act independently, the reality is that we don’t think or act in a vacuum. What others have said weighs on our minds when we choose to believe in something or act in a certain way—even if subconsciously. Now, in response to this realization, you can be offended and choose to reject it, or you can embrace it and realize that just as you are affected by others, you can affect others too.
Changing how you think about this subject and casting aside the negative connotations of the word manipulate will allow you to see persuasive communication for the superpower that it truly is. Figuring out the true meaning of debate is the first step in mastering it—and you just took that step!
Note: Persuasion and manipulation are not the same thing, but they are related concepts.
One final note: I used two important words that are often seen as opposite ends of the spectrum of the same thing (with one largely being considered good and the other bad)—persuasion?and?manipulation. This is wrong. It’s also why so many people aren’t very good at either.
Said differently, persuasion comes before manipulation. Persuasion is the attempt to affect someone else, and manipulation is the observed effect of that attempt—the goal.
About the Author: Philip Wiseman is an award-winning public speaker, debater, negotiator, and advocate who has trained and coached students across the world—including high school and college students in competitive speaking contests, educators, corporate officers, political candidates, as well as judges and attorneys, in mastering the art of debate in their respective professional arenas. This article is part of a series meant to introduce how one can master the art of debate for their own benefit and is designed to give you an insight into his paradigm of what it means to persuasively communicate. Worth noting, both his students and he have employed this paradigm and its techniques to great success throughout their personal and professional lives.