Defining Conflict and Identifying Your Personal Mediation Skills

“Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2007, p. 9, italics added for emphasis). The genesis of a given conflict is interpreted by one’s perception of conflict and internally defined by that individual. This perception creates an internal struggle and an imbalance that the individual seeks to bring back into balance possibly through mediation.

Moore (1996) defines mediation as an intervention in a negotiation or conflict through an acceptable third party who assists the involve parties in voluntarily reaching a mutually acceptable settlement of disputed issues. Mediation may also be utilized to establish or strengthen relationships of trust/respect as well as terminate relationships to minimize damage or costs.

More specifically, Cahn and Abigail (2007) explain conflict with four characteristics as situational (state) rather than dispositional (trait) in nature. These characteristics assist in understanding many avoidance strategies people use when in conflict situations.

First, conflict arises from interdependent personal relationships. Arguments with a stranger do not evolve to a personal conflict, as does a long-term relationship that we attempt to foster. The situation and the ability/inability to negotiate or communicate effectively lends to the conflict.

Second, “perception is the process in which we make sense of what we see and hear. Conflicts arise when people think there is an incompatibility or ‘divergence of interest…a belief that [their] current aspirations cannot be achieved simultaneously,’ or that their activities or goals are incompatible with those of the other party” (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, p. 5).

Third, the incompatibility of the involved parties creates strain on the relationship. Incompatible goals arise when parties seek different outcomes to a similar situation, and incompatible means explains the conflict in process. “Incompatible goals and means can create the perception that the other is frustrating one’s attempts to achieve something, or they may create a perception of relationship violation” (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, p. 5).

The fourth and final characteristic of situational conflict is a sense of urgency to resolve the disagreement. These conflicts are described as “boiling point,” and they must be addressed immediately.

I have developed a simple model of conflict source identification; process, task, and relationship. This new version is an adaptation of multiple conflict theories, including Cahn and Abigail discussed earlier.

Process conflict arises when parties disagree as to the means by which a goal shall be achieved. The “how we get things done” is in conflict and becomes the negative focus. Task conflict is produced when parties disagree as to the finished product. The “what is to be done” is in contradiction, therefore conflict occurs. If the involved parties agree to the process (how) and task (what), then the relationship of the parties is the cause of conflict. “Part of mediation’s vast appeal is its flexibility. It gives every mediator room to tailor the process to his or her style and to the parties’ needs” (Fazzi, 2004, p. 86). The legitimacy of a leader’s skills to mediate is measured and determined by the affected parties. The acceptability of a particular mediator may be measured by “…skills and characteristics such as flexibility, credibility, trustworthiness, active listening skills, and facilitation skills played in bringing the parties closer” (Mareschal, 2005, p. 510).  Proper identification of the source of conflict allows the leader to apply the appropriate theory to manage/mediate the conflict in the most appropriate manner to obtain mutual benefit of the involved parties in accordance with organizational goals.

Organizational culture must be learned. Employees are not born with the culture of their employer. Leaders are obligated to teach employees the formal/informal methods of conflict resolution within the organization.  The socialization process that should occur throughout the tenure of an employee is open communication void of threats of retaliation. Any individual, who identifies individual, team, or organizational conflict regarding process, task, or relationship, should report it to their leader. The culture of the organization should support such conflict reporting to increase job satisfaction and performance. Open communication is important to socialize throughout all levels of the organization and should be trained and rewarded.

Strong communications skills are the most important on the path to [mediation] skills. Necessary communication skills include:

1.                  Writing

2.                 Public speaking

3.                 Conflict resolution

4.                 Confrontation

5.                 Giving feedback

6.                 Dealing with disruptive [employees]

7.                 Running meetings

8.                 Interviewing

9.                 Negotiation

10.             Listening (Linney, 2007, p. 72).

Effective organizational leaders utilize good communication/mediation skills to close the gap between the conflicting parties. “The ability to listen impartially to all sides of a conflict and help forge ‘win-win’ solutions is paramount…” (Linney, 2007, p. 72). Conflict resolution requires proper skill and attitude from the leader to obtain a mutual benefit for the individuals and organization.

Mediation skill can be obtained within a given organization through formal education and experiential learning. What about attitude? Linney (2007) states that proper mediation attitude and openness is paramount to the intervention process. Being open to ideas of others is the idea behind mutual benefit. As an informal mediator, you must withhold personal opinion and avoid judgment during the mediation process. The intrinsic motivation to seek mutual benefit must fulfill the needs of the parties along with organizational goals.

Do you believe that you have the proper “win-win” attitude required to be an effective mediator? As you achieve a greater level of mediation experience and education, the better organizational leader you will become.

-Dr. Jim DeLung

References:

Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2007). Managing conflict through communication (3rd ed.). Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.

Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Free Press.

Fazzi, C. (2004). A mediation style that combines many others. Dispute Resolution Journal, 59(2), 86.

Linney, G. (2007). Communication skills predict success. Physician Executive, 33(4), 72-74.

Mareschal, P. M. (2005). What makes mediation work? Mediators’ perspectives on resolving disputes. Industrial Relations, 44(3), 509-517.

Moore, C. W. (1996). The mediation process (2nd ed.). San Francisco: Josey-Bass Publishers.

Reber, A. S., & Reber, E. S. (Eds.). (2001). Dictionary of psychology (3rd ed.). London: Penguin Books.

Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2007). Interpersonal Conflict (7th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.