Overcoming self-sabotage
Ian Browne
Early careers professional - Apprenticeships - Helping leaders & teams Stress Less
You’re a pillar of strength.? Nay – let’s go bigger and make you a tower of strength.? Having strengths feels good.?? And so it should.
Growing our strengths is important.? But your strengths can also undermine your success?
When our strengths are working for us, they can take us to places we’d never imagine.
But strengths that are overplayed or strengths that we rely on too much to get us through life can feed those feelings of Imposter Syndrome.??
Rather than supporting and moving us forward they take us into a world of self-sabotage.
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Unleashing your potential
?Every day, every hour you’re faced with a series of choices.?? Your brain doesn’t have time to deliberate every one of them, to present you with options to sit, ponder and decide.
?And it’s not that great at figuring out the relative importance of one question from another.
?The brain uses pattern recognition to get more things done – have I seen this thing before, do I know what I usually do in these circumstances, am I sensing danger in doing the same thing again.
?It's why you always pick from the same range of sandwich options when you’re in a rush and your mind goes into a spin when someone tells you one of the ingredients you rely on is out of stock.
?Or maybe they close the road on your regular route into work – it’s not the diversion that’s sending your head spinning, it’s driving through unrecognisable neighbourhoods and then when you’re finally off the detour and see familiar sights again, your brain relaxes.
?This is an amazing feature of your brain but also has one big downside – it will happily repeat patterns that are unhelpful to your overall potential and progress, often without you realising it.?? To keep you safe, it recognises what you’re strong at.? But all strengths can be overplayed and that’s where the problems begin for us.
This is self-sabotaging.?? The fastest and most effective way to unlock productivity and your career potential is to learn to take your foot off the brake and overcome your tendency to self-sabotage.
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What’s your default personality type
?There are many different models out there that help us to understand our default and dominant style.? The default is where we’ll normally snap to when left unchallenged.?
?Here we’re using DISC – it’s easy to understand and there are lots of assessments you can take online.?
?Here’s a link to everything DISC https://www.discprofiles.com/disc-styles/
?In the DISC model there are four personality types.
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-?????? Dominance
-?????? Influence
-?????? Steadiness
-?????? Conscientiousness
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We all have the four elements but we will sway towards one or two.? On our best days this is how we perform awesomely.?? But the more we rely on one set style, the greater the problems this creates for us.
?Strength overplayed, becomes a hindrance and a form of self-sabotage that undermines our productivity and performance.
?Because covering all four types would make this article a little long, I’m going to break it up into the four types.?? Starting with Dominance.
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?Dominant personality types
?If your style is Dominant you’ll likely love things to be fast-paced, you don’t mince your words.? You’re happy to be outspoken, make quick decisions, are strong-willed, high-energy and forceful at driving things through.
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?Many leaders rely on this style.? Many emerging leaders hope to emulate them, but as we’ll see, there is a price to be paid.
?If your preferred style is Dominant then you’re likely to be happy tackling problems head-on.? You don’t feat confrontation, after all who cares about breaking a few eggs when there’re a delicious and satisfying omelette on offer.? ?You love the thrill of breaking down obstacles and chasing success, even if it comes at the cost of a few relationships – they’ll learn in good time.
?Lofty, ambitious goals are your core currency and you pride yourself on high achievements.
What could possibly trip up this productive force??? Your competitive streak can tease you into spending time watching the competition.?? When there’s no apparent competition, you may get bored, distracted or become unfocussed because benchmarking yourself against others, knowing you come out on top is an addictive feeling.
?That strength in aiming for ambitious goals without a plan to get there can also lead you into chasing rainbows.? Won that battle?? It’s on with the next and you find yourself saying “I’ll be happy when” and when never comes.
?You can also get rattled easily and your confidence knocked when you can’t live up to your own high expectations or setting yourself up to compete with others, judging yourself by their role, rank or position.
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What to do if you’re a D type?
?Your perfectionist tendencies will benefit from a reality check.? Often people care a lot less about the standards you set than you do.? Getting a realistic view of success is likely helpful.
?Find yourself a trusted friend or mentor to help you become more trusting in accepting vulnerability.?? See feedback as helpful rather than a challenge and an invitation to conflict.?? Pick the right battles, where your determination will benefit others rather than simply impress them with your ability to drive change through.
?The irony is that D types, whilst looking very successful and confident on the inside, can actually feel uneasy, conflicted and unsatisfied on the inside.? They raise the expectations others have of them so when failure is a possibility it feels like they’re falling from an even greater height.? Praise and recognition doesn’t come easy, because Ds can always see the next greater goal that’s not yet been achieved.
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Your key take-away
?Imposter Syndrome thrives in a space of self-doubt and guilt.?? Behind most of what we fear lies an innate strength that is overplayed.
?Compassion for yourself and towards others is key to diffusing imposter syndrome before it gets hold.?? Disrupting the unhelpful thinking patterns that often take hold.
?Guilt is the worst emotion for driving forward performance, productivity & ultimately shaping your career.? It is the ultimate saboteur.
?In my coaching I’ll often be asked what productivity tips can you offer, how can I improve my performance, how when I’m working flat out as it is can I possibly step up and take on more responsibility – after all there’s only 24 hours in a single day right?
?And you are right?? That step up means letting go of some of the patterns that got you to where you are today.?? The things that sabotage your capability to be happy and productive.
?As you know if you look me up, I use the Positive Intelligence methodology to take clients through this deep thinking at a very individual level – to learn to eradicate the unhelpful thought patterns in themselves and develop positive intelligence within themselves and those around them.
?Remember the fastest and most effective way to improve your productivity, performance and ultimately the career success you want, is to take your foot off the brake pedal.
If you want my help figuring out how to do this, just reach out to me
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Take action
?You can’t fix what you don’t know.? Click below to take your free saboteur assessment.
?There’s no obligation to take this further.? If you want to go it alone, that’s OK.
?Overcoming self-sabotage is the fastest and most effective way to improve your productivity, performance and ultimately your career success.
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Next Gen Talent, Early Careers Lead in Lloyds Banking Group | Influencing the next generation of youth talent | Driving Social mobility and opportunities for all | Apprenticeship Ambassador
5 个月A great read and some very valuable tips