Defending Personal Territory

As I worked with various companies and organizations to help them deal with internal organizational conflict and to help train staff on the techniques for peaceful resolution to conflict, the issue of territorial defense seemed to come up over and over. I was surprised by the amount of wasted time, effort and emotional stress surrounding territorial defense and/or territorial theft in the workplace. The financial loss to businesses and organizations, in lost time and productivity, is over ten percent of global GDP each year. And the negative emotional toll on worker moral and worker retention is potentially huge.

Personal Territory Conflicts Cost US Business 10 Per Cent of GDP

Taking personal territory, in some cases, might seem minor, such as placing one’s own possessions on the edge of another’s adjoining desk, to rearranging furniture in a shared break room without the consent of others in the office. But other examples clearly escalate the seriousness, like not cleaning a personal mess in a shared, communal kitchen, to taking over the assigned parking space of an associate or interrupting a colleague’s presentation without invitation. Although these issues may seem like small infringements when compared to many problems in the world, these individual issues are like the proverbial hundred paper cuts. Territorial theft…?and the ensuing conflict… are the source of some of the highest loss of productivity in group work settings, and is one of the greatest reasons for staff demoralization, reduced output and increased operational cost to the company or organization.?And in many cases it is the same ‘bad actors’ playing this game over and over, in a variety of different ways, in different situations, at different times. These players are usually very slick, quick with an excuse and confident they will get away with their theft because they know most people do not like confrontation and will not call them out on their bad behavior. Territorial theft…?and the ensuing conflict… are the source of some of the highest loss of productivity in group work settings, and is one of the greatest reasons for staff demoralization.

Rapid Takeover versus Gradual Takeover

When consulting with management and staff in taking on a new assignment, I would first meet with them to help ascertain their needs and concerns, then work with them to clearly define the needs to be addressed and the objectives to be met.?In the case of situations dealing with territorial disputes, I would first help everyone understand the difference between Rapid Takeover and Gradual Takeover.?

As mentioned above, an example of Rapid Takeover would be the taking over a?parking space without any advance discussion or agreement. Other examples of Rapid Takeover could include eating another’s food that had been stored in a shared cupboard or refrigerator, removing a co-workers posting on an office posting board, scrolling through an associates unlocked computer or reading a co-worker’s mail. Like a shoplifter in a retail department store, the item of value is taken in an instant, with no payment negotiated and no intent of ever returning the item.?

Examples of Gradual Takeover could include rearranging kitchen implements?in a shared break room bit by bit over several days… without advance discussion, agreement or approval. Another example could be coming to work five minutes late… then adding five more late minutes later in the week, then additional late minutes over the following weeks. The first five minutes would not be really noticed and no one would likely complain. But three weeks later, when the total late minutes add up to 30 minutes or more, every day then begins to impact co-workers and associates… delaying morning meetings and/or adding extra work to the schedule of others.?

The Negative Impact on Productivity is Huge

These situations are more common than you may realize and happen in many workplaces, usually with demoralizing, negative impact on emotional well-being and workplace productivity. Some incidents will be minor… others may prove to be major… with most situations escalating over time if not stopped. Stopping the takeover, whether rapid or gradual, becomes easy if one knows the signs to look for when a takeover is happening and how to address and defuse that aggression in the least?disruptive and fastest way possible.?

Most humans will avoid conflict at any cost, yet, sometimes, the cost of avoidance can be quite high. That cost can include emotional distress, lost resources, lost time and lost wages. If a takeover issue is so minor as to not merit a response, just let it go. Put it out of your mind, forgive the perp and move on. If, on the other hand, the takeover is substantial enough to impact one’s life, it is important to know that fast action will be the most effective and least disruptive solution. In avoiding the use of social weapons that others throw at you… and to defuse the situation in the shortest time possible… it is critically important to remain focused, stick with the core issue at hand and remain calm. Keep in mind- the issue is not the person perpetrating the theft, nor any of the side issues that the perp will almost certainly raise. The single, simple issue is that they took something that did not?belong to them.?

Defusing the Problem

State your issue clearly and calmly to the one attempting the theft. Clearly state what you see as a fair solution (as in, I want you to vacate my parking space).?Do not feed into… or even attempt to address… the obfuscation smokescreens that the perp will put up to try and throw you off track. (I had no idea this would bother you so much. I am surprised you are reacting so negatively. Aren’t you silly for worrying about something this minor).?

At each step in the discussion bring the conversation back to your core issue and your core issue only.?Don’t even bother to respond to the smokescreens. Stick with the same wording of your demand… and repeat it over and over.

In the case of taking a parking space, as mentioned above, the action by the one taking your property (the parking space) is clearly theft and something that the perp most likely knew was wrong at the time he took it. The fact that your name wasn’t on the space (assuming it had been assigned by the office) is not relevant. The fact that the one taking the space claims to have stiff leg and wants to be closer to the door, is not the issue. The claim that the perp did not know it was your space, is no longer valid since you will have raised the issue and the thief now clearly knows it was your space. The issue is- they took your space, that is inappropriate?behavior and you are requesting that they move their car from your spot… at a time specific that same day.

In the case of a gradual takeover it is important to raise the issue as soon as possible to minimize the amount of emotional energy the perp may have invested in the changes that she was creating. State the issue clearly (I notice you have been rearranging things in the kitchen). State the problem- (this is causing some confusion for many of us). Then clearly state a solution- (let’s put everything back where it was, then let’s have a meeting with everyone to discuss how things might be better arranged for all concerned).?

A Winning Strategy

Just as in a Rapid Takeover scenario, state your issue clearly and calmly. Stick with your single main point (the rearranging without permission or taking another's stored food). Do not bring any unrelated or unnecessary issues into the discussion. Stay calm, stay focused, stay positive. And watch for the obfuscation smokescreen, which should be completely ignored and never addressed.?

As noted above, in most organizations the takeover ‘artists’ tend to be the same few people, playing the same game over and over. When confronted, most will claim innocence and/or ignorance. Let them stake that claim, just so you are very clear to define your objective and solution. You want your property back… and you want to avoid disruptive conflict. Their ignorance or fake innocence is not your problem.

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These are tips from Christopher Storey’s new book ‘Social Weapons’ available at Amazon.com. To contact Christopher Storey, please call the Oak Tree Media Group main office in New York at (212) 465-2560. Special low cost bulk sales pricing available for educational institutions and business organizations. Web Site, go to-

Social-Weapons-by-Christopher-Storey.com

About the Author

Christopher Storey is one of America’s top personal relationship experts, working as an organizational development specialist, clinical behavioral therapist, teacher, counselor and social worker. His work in the behavioral sciences spans forty years with educational institutions, organizations, medical professionals and companies of all sizes. Christopher Storey helps people defuse and minimize conflict and increase productivity by helping both management and staff identify and defend against social weapons in the workplace.?

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