DEFEAT YOUR INSECURITIES

This time, I want you to start reading this article with a humble acceptance and realization that it’s all right to be insecure. Are you finding it difficult and uncomfortable to accept this? If you are, tell yourself, you are stronger than your insecurities. Remember my last article on “What does not kill you makes you stronger”? There is not even a single person today who does not have insecurities. It’s just that some are better at dealing with them, or perhaps hiding them. Your acceptance of the fact that it’s all right to have insecurities is nothing but your willingness and strength to face what you don’t want to face. This does require a bit of courage. Let us start in small doses.

You can’t stop feeling insecure. Let us accept it before anything. Let me tell you first why I hate insecurities so much and what gives me the power to beat it every time it comes my way (I do get insecure). I feel that insecurity causes a unique form of amnesia. When stuck in the throes of insecurity, it is often hard to remember ever feeling confident, strong, self-assured, and capable. Come on! I can’t let something ruin what I have taken years to build. This gives me enough power to take the winning steps and give my best to overcome it.

The first step is generally the toughest one. Congratulations, you have taken your first step by accepting that it’s all right to be insecure. It’s not just you who feels like a dandelion in the sea of orchids. You are not the only one who has insecurities. This gives us the assurance that there is a remedy. You just have to find one for yourself or create one yourself (what got you in, will get you out). Doesn’t this make you feel lighter already?

This realization brings you to the second step. Now, since you believe that insecurities exist and it’s not a big deal, you must accept your insecurities and more precisely, accept that you are insecure. Accepting your insecurity does not mean that you do nothing about it and let it take control. Accept your insecurities to fight them better. Big or small, the world we live in today is full of reasons to make us feel insecure. The world only gives you reasons but it’s still your choice. You choose your insecurity and you choose to be insecure. Something that you yourself have chosen, what is the difficulty in accepting it? Denying the existence of insecurity in your life will delay its rectification. And generally, the insecurities are not the problems really but they are the symptoms of an underlying problem.

Ascertaining the nature of your insecurity is the next step in defeating it. While it's easy to tag your insecurity as work-related or relationship related, etc, but what can be difficult is identifying their direct manifestations in your life. Work-related insecurity can easily lead to person-related insecurity or relationship-related insecurity and even health-related insecurities. Just like viruses, even insecurities need a vector or a host. They enter you, infect you, and gradually spread inside you and even around you. Ultimately, you will find yourself dealing with multiple insecurities and not just one. Thus, ascertaining the nature of the insecurity will make it easier to solve and plug it from trickling down to other aspects of our lives.

It’s important for you to know your enemy to fight it effectively. The solution to your insecurity lies in the knowledge of the cause that created it in the first place. This is the third step. If the cause is hidden to/from us then our struggle to fight it will go in vain. In most cases, there is no reason to be insecure. We tend to over-think, over-assume, and over-expect. Get “over” these as soon as possible. It is important for you to be a critical thinker and a practitioner. If you focus on how something or someone is making you feel, you can’t come out of it. You need to question: Why this is happening? What can I do differently if this is the case? Whose help should I seek? Your ability to ask yourself the right question and at the right time will give you the right answer.

Here’s the secret. Insecurities do not just show us the path. In fact, insecurities are the path. Rather than getting anxious and succumbing to your insecurities, use them to better prepare and train yourself for the uncertain future. This holds so true today. We do not know what lies ahead of us. It is not in our control and that is why it is important to focus on what is in your control today. This will define you and make you a winner today, tomorrow, and always.

This is what I do. You too must try it. When insecurity knocks, invite it in for a cup of coffee, talk with it, understand it and then take that sugar spoon and poke it in its eye.

Now you know what to do next time insecurity knocks in!