Defeat Self-Sabotage in Just 5 Words
Heidi Gruss, MEd, LPC, CMHIMP
Psychotherapist & Transformation Strategist Helping Leaders, Executives & Entrepreneurs Overcome Exhaustion to Step into their Brilliance | Speaker | Mentor | Creator of The Transformation Methodology?
In my recent article, Five Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Success, I identified personas most often associated with #selfsabotage: the Complainer, the Defender, the Fault-Finder, the Minimizer and the Fatalist.
Self-Sabotage happens when we allow our behaviors to actively or passively derail our long-standing goals which in turn can affect our daily lives adversely.
The trick lies in recognizing our self-sabotaging behaviors and assigning a declaration to activate the new, desirable behavior. This affirmative trigger word cues the new response when your self-sabotage persona threatens an appearance.
Use These Trigger Words to Up-level Your Success:
To eliminate the Complainer, think ELEVATE. Constant complaining and fixation on the challenges quickly escalates a small problem to a larger problem. Leaders elevate the mindset of others when they re-frame challenging circumstances to present possibilities. Taking a more visionary view of the obstacle offers greater perspective and clarity on the issue and helps you raise morale to collectively drive a favorable outcome.
To stop the Defender, think QUESTION. Defensive behavior prevents clients, peers and team members from feeling seen, heard and acknowledged. Asking a question like, “How did this situation impact you?” offers the opportunity to better understand another perspective. That understanding paves a direct path to a mutually beneficial resolution.
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To quit Fault-finding, think FORWARD. Finding a problem with every solution keeps you stuck in the issue, and interferes with the tenacity you need to find a solution. Instead of waiting for the perfect solution, commit to trying various options until the best possibility is uncovered.
To do away with the Minimizer, think EMBRACE. Clients and team members look to you for your unique gifts and inspiration as a leader. Embracing your brilliance means validating your natural talents and strengths so you may approach any given problem with confidence.
To defeat the Fatalist, think RE-CALIBRATE. To avoid bringing a worst case scenario to life, envision your brain like a GPS. As each roadblock is detected, direct your thought process to creating the detour toward the optimal destination.?
Posting these declarations in places where you often look provides a visual reminder of the new behavior pattern. Places like – the wallpaper on your phone, a post-it on your computer screen, or hand written at the top of a legal pad are useful places to reinforce the changes you are making. Affirming these declarations regularly will wire them into your behavioral pathways.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.” ― Gandhi?
New habits take practice. Be patient with yourself but practice often. Hard work partnered with mental strength is the dynamic duo protecting your success from self sabotaging behavior.
Trauma Recovery Coach ~ Anxiety ~ Depression ~ PTSD ~ Dissociation ~ I help female frontline workers find hope, strength and healing from past hurts.
2 年Today self-sabatoge shows up in my own life through negative thinking. I have the mentality that if I'm not as productive as I want to be in the mornings working my coaching buisness then why do anything in the afternoons? Thank you for letting me talk Heidi Gruss, MEd, LPC, CMHIMP
Trauma Recovery Coach ~ Anxiety ~ Depression ~ PTSD ~ Dissociation ~ I help female frontline workers find hope, strength and healing from past hurts.
2 年I'll share first to get the ball rolling. To answer the question: " How has slef-sabotage showed up for you in your buisness or personal life?" Speaking from my own presepctive when I worked a 'normal' 9am-5p.m. job outside of the home and things were going well on the job I would look for soemthing to go wrong and nit pick at it. It's like I could never have anything good, I had to have chaos in order to feel survive, in order to function as a whole. For example at work outside of the home when things were going well as a medical receptionist and people like my bubbly personality I'd go from bubbly to being passive and self sabatoge 'things' that way.