The Deeper the Dark, the Closer the Dawn

"Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place”

Ever heard of the Law of Opposites? For me, it is one of the most interesting Laws of the Universe which states that Contradiction in nature is the root cause of all motion in life. What does this mean? Everything in existence is a combination of opposites. Light without night. Hot without cold. Salt without sugar. Prosperity without poverty. In essence, everything in your life is known only because of its opposites. Fascinating! The interplay of these very opposites is what shapes balance in your life. And this very law is the reason for all you know today.

Now think about this. How does one measure success? Is it the objective value in dollars or the subjective value in terms of quality of life or contentment? This is a question that is a clear predicament. According to the most general definition of success, it is an accomplishment of an aim or purpose. That denotes that achieving wealth, fame and respect is what success is naturally all about.

Many people ask me the same question as to how I have come so far so soon in life. For them, it is a desirable situation. For me, this could not be farther away from the truth. My definition of success is very different from what is usually presumed. It is broader and in essence, I still feel I have not done as much as I would like to have done. What seems the high point for others, for me is only the beginning . There are still miles to go before I sleep. A lot to be done in the little time allotted.

This very definition of success is also the reason many of us elude ourselves from the reality at hand. Maybe things are not as bad as they seem.

I feel that the one size fits all outlook on success is a bit misconstrued. We are so focused on the end result that the journey itself is not given its due diligence. You only can measure success by the failures you have experienced. The law of opposites. This time I want to pay homage to the aspect that every act of destruction, is a beautiful act of creation itself.

Many times in life, we come across unforeseen events. They come out of the blue. Like a sudden rainfall you are not prepared for, the troubles seem to pour out of nowhere and for no rhyme or reason. Life seems like a constant battle against a deadlock. A simple dead end.

To all those who are nodding to this, let me tell you this. Life is a constant battle. It is all about climbing one mountain after another. But for me, truth be told, it is not about the peaks you reach or the highs achieved. True life lies in the troughs before the peaks. In the setbacks before the winnings. In the failure before the success. You see, life is all about humility in the lows and the foresight in the highs. It is this very grinding that makes you wiser, stronger and carves depth in personality and attitude to life. In reality, it has never been about being in the smooth sailing zone. The blessing of one more day is success enough.

There is a famous Japanese proverb. Fall down seven times, Get up Eight. Think about this.

Do not despair if things do not seem to be going right. Maybe you only need to change the perspective you are seeing your life from. In between your highs and lows, remember to redefine what success truly means.

• Success is what you bring to the table – Not yours but others tables .

The more value you bring to others, the more successful you will be. True success to me lies in being honorable in your deeds and valuable in helping others. If you help enough people to get what they want, you will eventually get what you want. It is as simple as that. Even making the difference in one person’s life means that you have done well. You have lived well.

• Success is having stronger faith to look beyond that “this too shall pass”

With every challenge, you have two options. To either succumb to your belief of your destiny not being “good enough like the rest”. Or to stand up, brush off the dust from your fall and push forth once again. Take all the learnings from your fall, and channel it in what you need to do next. This is the strong faith that can propel you to new heights. That this just a temporary station to strengthen your faith within. When the time is right, you will look back at this” down time” and all the learnings you received as blessings, and you will be grateful. Grateful to be chosen amongst the lucky few to receive these precious learnings without which you could never become more. 

• Success is understanding who you are and what you stand for

Real success is understanding the depth of your own being and your own purpose. The one you have been uniquely created for. It is to know what lengths you will go for getting what you need to get done. It is knowing that you are here for the long haul and not the shortcuts to temporary happiness. Many go through a larger part of their life without this clarity. If you now realize what you need to do to leave a mark in this world, you are already beating life at its game.

• Success is knowing that you could not have put in more than you did today

After shutting off your PC today and heading home, you should have the mental satisfaction that today you put in your maximum efforts. That today you gave it your all. It could not have been more and tomorrow you will start again and push harder.

• Success is to wake up healthy to another bright new day

Getting another day is getting another chance to showcase your unique talents. There is only one of you in this entire universe. Cherish that. Today is a day that will never return. Yesterday is gone for good. Tomorrow you have no clue about. Best is to relish the present moment and know that you are healthy and grateful to get another shot to start again. Wiser. Stronger. More committed than yesterday.

• Success is providing for you and your obligations

We all want more. And when we get more, we want even more. Take a step back. This vicious cycle will never end. There will always be someone richer than yourself. There will always be a neighbor or colleague who seems to be “luckier” and has it all. When confronted with this, look the other way. See someone who has less than you. The mail man who brings the mail to your desk or the office boy who makes tea for you and warms your lunch. That you are earning enough to pay for your obligations and still have a little left for savings is success enough. Pat yourself on the back. You are doing well.

• Success is not in the results. It is in the trying just one more time

Thomas Edison knew the Law of opposites very well. He failed almost a 1000 times when making the light bulb, yet he was very grateful for the learnings. They helped him innovate other inventions and made him more than he first initially set out to become. Its all in the trying one more time. A wall is not just made. It is made brick by brick. Day in and day out.

One of the stories that affected me was not one of our times, but centuries ago. It is a true story narrated by the Mongol King, Timur, himself . Amir Timur was a great Mongolian King and great great grandfather of Babur, the founder of the Mughal Dynasty in India. He was one of the bravest and greatest warriors born in present Uzbekistan. He had conquered nearly half of the world known at that time. His courage was known throughout time and people trembled to hear his name, as it was associated with sure shot victory  . Amir Taimur, was someone who was so firm and unfaltering in every predicament that he did not cower from any misfortune. However, like any great warrior, he was also overcome by setbacks.

Once he was fighting a battle where he suffered a most disrespectful defeat. It was so terrible that this courageous man who was afraid of nobody, had to run away to the mountains to save his life. He hid himself in a safe place there. He was dejected, tired and hungry and feeling desolate, he sat at one place quietly watching little things around him.

It was here where he noticed an ant working. The ant was carrying a grain of rice much bigger than itself. With this load the ant tried to climb up a wall. The grain fell down. The ant came down and lifted the grain once again. It started to climb the wall. Again the grain fell down and again it went down to try. The ant did not lose courage. It tried again and again. The King tells us that the ant tried thirty three times until it succeeded in taking the grain up the wall. The King learnt a lesson. Man loses courage. He was weak. He must grow strong.

On seeing this, the king said to himself: O' Taimur! You are by no means inferior to an ant. Rise and get back to work. So heartened, he went about collecting his run-away soldiers and officers. He rebuilt his army. He fought yet another battle. He won. Thereafter, one success after another came to him. He had learnt not to lose courage. He continued to battle until he became a great King eventually. The rest is history.

This great King learnt from a mere ant. The humility in the defeat taught him a lesson he would never have learnt. That lesson could only be taught in the depths of failure and not in the highs of success. The law of opposites playing side by side to balance learning and growth.

Have a broader view of life and success and no matter what you are facing, when times feel tough and there seems no way out, it does not mean that you did not do well enough. It means you have been given a break to step back, reassess what is being taught to you and galvanize those learnings to a road less travelled.

It also means you are very close to having a breakthrough. The darker the night, the brighter and closer will be your dawn. Have patience. There is only one force to withstand any depth of challenge and that is within you. It is your inner spark of hope and courage.  

You are unique and there is a special task at hand. And only you can complete it with your determination and striving. Look at life in the eye and with all your will power, tell it one thing. “I will try one more time. But this time, braver, wiser, stronger.”