Deepen your Relationships

Many business books, blogs and articles had discussed “networking” and it is importance to business. Actually it is so important. Business networking is a really valuable way to expand your knowledge, learn from the success of others, get the help and advice whenever needed and also tell others about your business and may be life. The same can be said for individuals, those who possess a strong and active business network have many advantages that can make them grow and flourish both on the business and personal life.

David Meltzer, who is CEO and Founder, Sports 1 Marketing, talked about the “Network” as “Relationship Capital” and considered it “an immensely valuable part of business success”.

But are all connections helpful? are all of them useful? I do not think so.

One of the most useful advices that I used to give when asked about “success secrets” is “deepen your relationship”. I do believe that it is not only about the number of mobile numbers that you do store on contact dictionary, nor it is the number of followers on your LinkedIn page that do matters. Your true network is defined by the number of people who know you well, who share you some of your values and not necessary all, who like and trust you. The true network from my perspective consists of those who trust you and are willing to cooperate with you and/or provide some sort of help whenever needed regardless of your current status or position. “They are your army of personal walking ambassadors” as Bob Burg named them in his wonderful book “The Go-Giver”. In this book too, he warned us from building any relationship on “who owns who what” principle and described this unhealthy relationship as “that’s not a friend. That’s being a creditor”. Actually, there is a great difference between acting like a friend or as a creditor.

We all know the important of networking as it is your “relationship capital” that is not less important than other forms of capital and wealth. However, it is important too to know that much effort should be put into networking to make your connections work. you should pay much attention to the way you are handling your relationships to accelerate your success both on the personal and professional levels.

1.    The first step that you should take before approaching anyone or agroup whether in an event, gathering or meeting is thinking of yourself as an equal. Never think of yourself as an inferior, separate or even superior. Thinking as an equal will adjust your mindset on the right wave for behaving in the way that suits the people that you are networking with. All of them are important and keeping a healthy relationship with them based on mutual trust and win-win concepts is so beneficial for your success.

2.    Being authentic is a key for successful relationship. You should expand your concern to include others. Everyone you meet or know does matter. Everyone is a human being who has his/her own dreams, aspirations, and goals that he/she is trying to achieve. Everyone you meet may has a story that would like to share, or needs an advice about some of his/her fears or frustrations. In most cases, these stories worth listening and not only hearing. You should focus on how you can help the person you are listening to rather than on how he/she can help you.

3.    Bringing your value is so important. Making people feel and know that is a skill that you should master. People should feel that you are humble, yet self-confident and trustworthy. It is your responsibility to show them that you are interested in them, care about their interests and are not just trying to figure out how they can help you. They should not be afraid and/or embarrassed to ask for help and/or a service from you.

4.    Be trustworthy person. Remember that people like to deal with those they trust. However, trust is gained gradually and needs a lot of time, effort, credibility, compassion and empathy to be truly built. However, once it is built, everything will be easier, faster and less costly. I herein advise you to read “Speed of Trust” where its famous author Stephen M.R. Covey has discussed the issue successfully.

5.    Make the first step. I believe in the power of the “Law of Reciprocity”. Many authors talked about it and the most famous of them is Adam Grant in his masterpiece “Give and Take”. Try to be proactive, and take the first move. Let us name it the “kick off” of the reciprocity game. It is an enjoyable game which all participating parties will benefit from. When you genuinely help others, most of them will genuinely start helping you. By doing so, you will activate one of the powerful life laws that run the human relationship. Consider others’ success important and they will do the same for you. Harvey Firestone, the founder of the Firestone tire and rubber company, said “You get the best of others when you give the best of yourself”

6.    Indirect relationships can also work perfectly. You can make the benefit of making a new relationship indirectly by utilizing the connection of someone else had to the people you want to reach. Usually, building a strong relationship with someone needs some time and effort. However, you can leverage of that person’s relationship to bridge a gap that may take months or years from you to bridge. Your network relationships are a natural expansion for your network in certain conditions.

7.    Be "more interested than interesting”. Resist the natural tendency to showing off what you know and try to let others talk more about their achievements and what they know. People like to talk about their success story and need to feel that others are interested in their stories and achievements. You can add some warmth to the relationship by showing an interest in their hobbies outside of work. such chats will help in breaking the ice and give others the chance to speak about their passionate things. It also shows that you are actually interested in them as a person, and not just what they do and how it could help you.

Finally, a key part of networking is making sure you have a simple system to keep track of the people you meet. Do not lose interest in any business card before saving its content on your contact dictionary. Filing these contacts alphabetically is not useful specially if your network is expanding. My advice is storing all data on the business cards and not only the name and mobile numbers. You can add labels for classification and categorization. Thanks to the new searching technology and tools who make searching using different criteria much easier than before.

Let me close this article by Theodore Roosevelt quote “The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people”.