Deep Listening is a Super Power
Bill Shander
Author of "Stakeholder Whispering: Uncover What People Need Before Doing What They Ask", keynote speaker, workshop leader, LinkedIn Learning Instructor. Information design, data storytelling & visualization, creativity.
On a recent flight, I quickly learned four things about my seat mate:
And these are just the four things that popped into my mind right now when thinking about this. I know more about her, like her opinion about planes being delayed for connecting passengers (not supportive), her thoughts on the Titanic submersible ("they knew what they were getting into"), what her visit was like in Florida (she didn't get to go to the pool because her friend has kids and a busy life..."but that's OK"), and more.
If you asked her what she learned about me, I would suspect her answer would be, "about who?" She asked me a couple of questions but I'm pretty sure they went in one ear and out the other. She asked because that was her tactic to engage me in a conversation, which she clearly needed. She's a talker, not a listener. Oh, and remember, she is the one who discovered the 3-drink limit on Spirit...and came on board directly from the bar, after who knows how many drinks?
I am a deep listener. It's a super power of mine. Honestly, it's also a bit of a defense mechanism. I'd rather interview people and get them talking than have to say things myself...but that's another story. I don't just ask questions, I really do listen. And this listening has been one of, if not the, most important asset in my career.
I engage, ask questions, ask follow up questions, listen, interpret, translate, and turn all of that into plans to help clients achieve their goals. This was always the difference between me and my competitors when bidding on projects. If I lost a project, it was because of price or some other factor, never because the client didn't think I could help them.
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Long story short, if you want to develop skills, sure, develop skills. Learn statistics, data analysis, R, python, Power BI, Tableau, etc. Learn how to design and tell stories. Hard skills, soft skills, and everything in between.
But most importantly, learn how to listen and engage. If you can become a "stakeholder whisperer" as I call it, your career will be whatever you want it to be.
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Ask me about virtual or in-person data storytelling and visualization training for your team (I also have a "Stakeholder Whispering" workshop!)
Learn more about data storytelling and visualization via my other LinkedIn Learning courses
People & Workforce Analytics | Data-driven Insights Specialist | People Leader | Passionate about New Technology Adoption
1 年Very true indeed! I would add a nuance to that. Neurodivergent people, especially ADHDers, are habitually oversharing to mask other issues and emotions. Now, this is also a trait in neurotypical people, to various degrees, but pretty much works in the same way. Nervousness about a flight? What best to forget about it, than some drinks and telling your life story to your seat mate. Flip side? Never stopping long enough to listen, however much one knows this is important and must happen, especially in stakeholder engagement. So I'd love to see some tips and tricks about starting the engagement by reminding oneself about what is the desired outcome of such a discussion, and what needs to happen now in order to achieve this. Sometimes there needs to be an obvious, tangible or physical cue. I call it "sitting on my hands" or "zipping my mouth" (different cues for different types of engagement).
SVP Growth & Development at CLE | Finance, Operations & HR Leader | Expertise Spanning Multiple Industries | Driving Business Growth & Success Through Innovative Solutions
1 年I couldn’t agree more! I think deep listening is what’s throwing off discovery stages on projects AND due diligence. I’ve seen it happen first hand and it’s painful for everyone involved.
Senior Manager leading Quality and Learning initiatives
1 年Fantastic post, and goes well beyond the realm of data visualizations.
Data Analytics Manager | Microsoft Certified Data Analyst Associate | Power BI
1 年A great read Bill! thanks for sharing. It's great to remind ourselves to focus on the listening part & less on the talking. Sometimes nerves can play a part making me more talkative. For meetings/consultation's, I like to prepare questions before hand to help me focus on the listening. Anything u do to help focus on the listening part?
Front End Programmer at Stampar Syntax || Physics Graduate || Bridging Data Analytics & Web Development || Fashion Enthusiast
1 年This was an insightful read.