Decoding the Language of Wealth: Interpreting What Money Means to You

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One question I ask in every financial therapy session I have with a new client is, "What does money mean to you?"

While the answers vary, the three most common responses I receive include:

• Security
• Power
• Freedom

These responses give me insight into the mind of my client and what drives them or frightens them financially. It shows us both where barriers exist around self worth, moral responsibility, and whether or not they believe they are a good person.

Many times these responses can be lumped into the categories of "Money Scripts" Financial Therapists have come to know and love, but I don't do this exercise to categorize my clients. I do this exercise to help them discover on their own and speak out loud how they see themselves interacting with money (or the idea of money) in a more sophisticated way.

See Also: Buying A Blue Check? What This Could Say About Your Relationship With Money

I recently had a conversation where I asked my client “how do you define failure?”and we came to one of the most profound conclusions together: They feared that after all the books, courses, coaches, and mentors they hired that they would still not be good enough. In other words, they felt their knowledge would betray them.

In an era where anyone can jump on social media and proclaim themselves a financial guru (or regurgitate the themes and ideas of an already established one), it can be tricky navigating the decision to invest in a product or service someone is selling you.

Especially if we exist in survival mode where we might desperately grasp for anything and everything that we think will save us, similar to someone who is drowning and doesn’t know how to swim.

• Online marketers take advantage of that.
• Financial gurus take advantage of that.
• Shitty people take advantage of that.

I've been that person who sat in a paid seminar watching others be berated for "not having what it takes" and "being selfish by not investing in establishing generational wealth for their families". I've wrestled with the shame and embarrassment of spending all the money I had saved for a concrete cause like buying a house, to invest in a dream that was sold to me that yielded no result.

The fear based marketing sells you a dream and when you find you can't realize that dream, it makes you begin to question if your knowledge (or the tools you acquire through education) even work and you begin to lose confidence in what you know not realizing that the tools work just fine, you just can't use a hammer where you need a screwdriver, and you can't use either if there are no materials to build with.

Sometimes in an effort to rapidly build skill or knowledge in a way we perceive will help us out of our current situation, we chase and hoard knowledge through courses, programs, coaches, certifications, etc. but never have the breathing room to apply that knowledge in a meaningful way, validating our failures, fears, and financial traumas.

See Also: Financial Literacy Is A Lot Like Playing Chess

"This is your sign to stop collecting tools, and start focusing on building materials. Recognize your accomplishments, your safety, your values, and the stories that got you to this point. Then start to build."

For me, money has represented freedom. It's given me the time to reflect on what's important to me, how I want to spend my time, and what impact I want to have on the world around me.

It's represented security at one time too, knowing that I have enough to buy food and that I won't empty a cart of groceries in a check out line and have my card declined or that I won't be evicted from my home.

It's even represented power, by being able to take a hostile and abusive situation and saying I don't want to be here anymore.

I'll tell you what money DOESN'T represent though.

It's not a reflection of how good or bad a person is because they have it or they don't. It doesn't dictate whether or not someone should be respected and it most certainly isn't a measure of intelligence.

Even if you've made decisions financially in order to survive that make you cringe, at one time it was the BEST decision for you and your family and you deserve credit for that. You deserve grace for that.

I'm curious to know what money represents or means to you? Let me know in the comments or share this post with your response in the caption.

-Rahkim

I am STILL booking for speaking engagements, workshops, and more this month!

For inquiries and booking information to have me speak for your Employee Resource Groups, Executive Teams, Students, etc. for Financial Literacy Month and Mental Health Awareness Month. Email [email protected] or visit my website at www.RahkimSabree.com