Decoding 'Hesitation'

Image is imaginary. Personality is keep changing. Maturity is a myth. Understanding is often misunderstood. Acceptance exists as per convenience. Happiness lies in achievements. Sorrow happens due to un-fulfillment. Planning is always irrational. Implementation is a matter of self-cheating. Complaining is satisfying ego. Actions are outcome oriented. Outcome is already fixed, when nothing is fixed and permanent in the world. World is considered as a race course. Race is limited up to winning or losing. Participation is not an option. Option is a matter of perception. Perception is uncertain. Uncertainty defines life and life is beyond all these nonsense.

Life is nothing but just an experience. That’s why everything is uncertain and nothing is permanent here. Variety of experiences completes the life. Perhaps we all have different kind of experiences. Experience is like water, whatever color you add, it becomes the alloy. Once the natural color of water changes, no one can bring it back in the same form. Yet some people fill the dark color of sorrows. Some fill the white color of peace. Some fill golden color of achievement. Whereas some people fill in as many colors as they can, so that they can prove themselves ‘different’. But some are rare & precious, in the desire to make their water look like others, they fill a new color every day. The more they see, the more they fill. Gradually, keep doing this becomes their whole life. I mean seriously, is this the purpose of life? Is this what we have come here to do? The truth is that we have filled so many colors in this life that now we do not even know the name of any of these colors. In the desire of colors, we have made water colorless.

I know one such color, which makes whole life colorless and its name is hesitation.

Hesitation is nothing but a pause before thinking, doing and acting. It is a personality disorder, which acts like a cancer. Cancer is a disease in which some of the body’s cells grow uncontrollably and spread to other parts of the body. Similarly, hesitation is a psychological disease which grows uncontrollably & unknowingly in our thought process and affects the whole system. Hesitation is a natural phenomenon. It can be controlled, if dominated at an early phase. Once it is out of control, it becomes very difficult to restrain. To come over hesitation, one needs to understand it fully. Seeing naked is the end of curiosity. In a research study, I found that about 91% of people hesitate at some point. It is the most neglected aspect in the study of personal development. However, every third motivational speaker talk about confidence building, but they often forget or neglect the fact that a house cannot be built on whose foundation is weak.

If you look closely, there are so many Farhan around us, who can’t talk to their father about the career they want. Just because of the hesitation, they are doing engineering. Now it is not the fate of everyone to have Rancho in their life, who can come at the right time to talk to your father, to make you what you want to be like he made Farhan a wildlife photographer. It means, either we become Rancho or find a friend like him or be one of those three idiots, who never hesitate.

For once, think calmly whether this life is only for hesitation and for wasting opportunities? Is this life worth losing or gaining? We must also think what is more important out of this life- what others think about us? Or else to find the real purpose of this life without keeping any sort of hesitation. Remember, as long as we live in hesitation, we will not be able to achieve anything constructive.

After all, Hesitation is not a feeling of love or a feeling of joy which is significant to carry with us. In fact, this is the curse that has to be discharged; we do it with great sincerity. They say that if you want to keep a cradle, you should keep a dog, keep a cat or even a lion, but never keep a false belief.

- Puneet Sharma | [email protected]