Decoding Duality
We can be this AND that...
There is much that comes to mind when I think about duality. This week, I’ve been wondering about our peculiar capacity to hold contradictory beliefs about others and about ourselves too. This duality of ours,? it can be a bias or a limiting belief at times. Consider a personal example in which I see myself as a gracious professional when it comes to work settings, AND also truly enjoy articulating myself using expressive body language. Do you see how this can be contradictory in some settings? In formal settings where professionalism is valued, I must remind myself to suppress my natural expressiveness and instead choose to maintain composure, which sometimes feels inauthentic. And conversely, being overly composed sometimes gives dear people an impression of arrogance or aloofness - both qualities one absolutely wants to avoid while conversing with people one values! My point is that this internal conflict or duality does not necessarily have to limit me in fully expressing myself while also aligning with a professional image. With practice and acceptance of both of these traits, I could learn to embrace this duality and show up even more authentically.
When we don’t honour our personal duality, we risk fuelling internal conflicts or limiting ourselves in trying out other aspects to our personality, because we think they are far too different from the ones which we identify with in a specific situation.
I’ve also found evidence to observe external duality in terms of how we perceive other people around us. For example, many assume that someone who puts in noticeable effort into their personal style at work, probably lacks competence. This assumption is simply an assumption because we have multifaceted skills and having both substance and style at work aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact when I think further about this, looking put-together could in-fact reflect professionalism, enhance self-esteem, which may enhance job performance.
It is interesting to me how there internal contrasts can shape our actions and perceptions of others. Accepting and finding balance in the dual nature of human lives can be tricky but worth an attempt, in my opinion.
I’m left wondering how you, readers, navigate those moments of conflicting duality within and outside of yourselves?