Shrinking Customer Base? Gauge Your Empathy Quotient

Is your customer base shrinking? While many factors might contribute to this, one often overlooked but critical element is empathy in customer service. In my previous article, I highlighted the pivotal role empathy plays in maintaining strong customer relationships . Today, we’ll delve into real-world examples where empathy—or its absence—directly influences customer retention.

"The key to customer retention is to show your customers they are valued, not just heard." — Anonymous

As both a frequent consumer and a customer experience consultant with a strong focus on product management, I’ve encountered situations where a small act of empathy could have completely transformed my experience and secured my loyalty. Conversely, I’ve also had memorable encounters with brands that showed genuine empathy, making them my go-to choices.

Missed Opportunities Due to Lack of Empathy

The Vanishing Booking: Airline Chaos

Picture this: You’re booking a holiday flight. Simple enough, right? You enter your details—email, phone number, payment information—and click "Proceed." You’re moments away from confirming that long-anticipated trip. A notification on your phone confirms the payment deduction, but suddenly, a technical error message appears. Frustrated but hopeful, you try again. Same issue. Now, you’re re-entering your details, hoping the transaction goes through.

After the second failure, you give up and call customer service. The response? "Sorry, we cannot fix the issue right away." Worse, they inform you that the fare has increased because prices are "time-sensitive." No solution, no empathy—just a generic response. The booking failed, and that was it.

An empathetic response could have changed everything. The airline had my email and phone number. Imagine if they had sent a follow-up email with a dedicated link to retry the payment, holding my fare for a few hours. Or what if they had given me a quick call to resolve the issue? A small effort like that would have retained a loyal customer.

Utility Woes: Missing the Human Touch

In today’s fast-paced world, we rely heavily on smart devices to simplify our lives. But when things go wrong, technology can leave us stranded. For example, my utility company couldn’t install a smart meter in my home, forcing me to submit meter readings manually—a task that became critical with fluctuating energy prices.

Once I received a reminder to submit my reading by a specific date. However, on that day, the app refused to accept my submission. I called customer service, hoping to submit my reading over the phone, only to be told it couldn’t be done and that I’d receive a WhatsApp message within 48 hours. The problem? My deadline was 24 hours away, meaning I’d already miss it. After several hours, having received no WhatsApp message, I called again, only to get the same generic response.

?A little empathy could have made a huge difference. What if the app had notified me, "We’re experiencing high demand. Please try again later," or "We’ll record your reading now and submit it when our systems are back online"? These small gestures would have made me feel supported, rather than ignored.

Banking Frustration: An AI Chatbot That Misses the Mark

Digital transformation in banking has brought convenience, but sometimes at the cost of empathy. Recently, I had a question for my bank’s customer service via their in-app chat. I started with an AI chatbot, which eventually escalated my issue to a human agent. The chatbot instructed me to keep my phone notifications on, saying I’d be alerted when a human agent was available.

However, no notification ever appeared. Hours later, I checked the app, only to find that the human agent had already logged off, leaving a message that I had missed my opportunity to connect.

A better approach? Empathetic design. What if the bank had sent me a text or email notifying me of the agent’s availability? Or if the app displayed an estimated wait time, so I knew when to log back in? These small touches would have ensured I didn’t miss my turn, leaving me feeling supported rather than frustrated.

"Technology should enhance human interactions, not replace empathy." — Unknown

High-Tech Hotel, Low-Tech Customer Service

On a recent holiday, I stayed at a "high-tech" hotel, equipped with smart features for everything—from booking to checkout. Unfortunately, the experience didn’t live up to expectations. I had requested specific pillows through the hotel’s booking app, using the notes feature for "additional requests," but upon checking the room, I found that my request hadn't been fulfilled. I called reception to perhaps remind on my request, only to learn that the booking team had not communicated my note to housekeeping, and the pillows I had requested weren’t available.

If only they had offered an alternative, such as a different room or a stay at their associated hotel across the street, or even a small perk for the inconvenience. In that moment, the lack of empathy turned a minor inconvenience into lasting disappointment. Sometimes, a little human touch can make even the most high-tech experience feel welcoming.

Pension Provider Fails to Walk the Talk

Imagine this: A private pension company known for its "digital transformation" offers an advanced online portal where customers can track their pension contributions. Everything seems seamless until my account required re-registration due to a "change event." This "digitally advanced" company then sent me a physical letter with my "new" account details, urging me to contact them if I found any errors. Sure enough, there was a critical error—my date of birth was wrong.

Despite being a long-standing customer, I was told over the phone that they couldn’t update my information. Instead, I needed to send proof of my date of birth. Customer service offered two options:

• Email: I could scan my identity document and email it, though they warned this method was "not secure."
• Mail: I could draft a letter, include a copy of my ID, and mail it—at my expense.

They have the perfect use case for securely uploading documents, as many other services do. But instead of investing in an empathetic solution, they rely on staff to manually process letters and send a generic email later: "Thanks for your mail; we’ve updated your records."

Once again, a lack of empathy in customer service made the process unnecessarily frustrating.

The “Message Delivered” Credit Card

Here’s an unusual situation: I found a letter in my mailbox from a bank I’ve never used. Feeling the envelope, I could tell there was a plastic card inside addressed to a previous resident. The envelope clearly stated, "Do Not Forward" and instructed me to return it if undelivered. My initial thought was to write "Not at This Address" and mail it back. Instead, I decided to call the bank.

When I contacted customer service, they asked for my customer ID. I explained that I wasn’t their customer and described the situation: I had received a letter addressed to someone no longer living here. Should I send it back? To my surprise, they simply told me, "Destroy the card and letter." This response was baffling.

What if I was indeed the customer of this bank and had forgotten to update my address and a new card was sent to my previous residence? What if an honest recipient reported it, only to be told to destroy it? Some banks notify customers when a new card is on the way, asking them to call if it doesn’t arrive. But with others, there’s no notice at all. I’ve even received a replacement card without requesting it—no expiry, no explanation—only to find out later it was issued due to a potential compromise.

In a world where 3D Secure, multi-factor authentication, and stringent security protocols dominate, it’s strange to think a simple envelope misplacement could bypass all these safeguards.

Gained Opportunities: Empathy in Action

Delivery Delight: How a Driver Went the Extra Mile

After a long day at work, I ordered food through a delivery app, timing it so my meal would arrive just as I got home. The plan was perfect—until my train was delayed. Worried that my order might be cancelled or left unattended, I messaged the delivery driver to explain my situation. His response surprised me.

The driver informed me that the app allows a seven-minute wait period, providing me a small buffer. Then, he mentioned a stations name close to my home and asked, “Is this your station?” When I confirmed, he offered to meet me near the station so I wouldn’t miss my order.

I was floored. This driver, likely not trained for such situations, recognized that my order wasn’t just a "nice-to-have" at the end of a long day—it was my dinner after a rough commute. Without any prompts or policies guiding him, he found a solution that prioritized the customer experience.

This driver, by thinking beyond the script, reminded me of the true power of empathy in service.

"Customer service is not a department, it’s a philosophy to be embraced by every employee." — Shep Hyken

A Heartfelt Refund Story with a Train App

Have you ever made a mistake with a non-refundable travel booking? Here’s my story of how empathy transformed a simple error into a surprisingly positive experience.

Returning to the city after a flight, I needed to catch a train from the airport. In my haste, I accidentally booked a ticket in the wrong direction—from the city to the airport. I only realized my mistake when I received the confirmation email. Despite the non-refundable policy, I decided to reach out to customer support via the app’s chat, hoping they might help me correct the error.

To my surprise, I quickly received an email with two options: I could either chat with an agent during a specific time or wait for a follow-up email. I chose to chat, and when I logged into the app, a real person was ready to assist. The agent reviewed my travel history, noted that I frequently used the app, and saw I had another ticket from the airport to the city, validating my claim. Despite the strict non-refundable policy, they issued a full refund as a goodwill gesture.

This wasn’t just about getting a refund—it was empathy in action. The system had every reason to deny my request, yet this agent prioritized customer loyalty over rigid policies. That level of understanding turned me from a satisfied customer into a loyal one.

Exam Support That Almost Missed the Mark but Tried

Online exams from home—convenient but nerve-wracking. I registered for an exam proctoring service, which required ID verification 24 hours before the test. When I attempted to verify my ID, the camera wasn’t being recognized on either the app or the website. With no option to reschedule within the required 24 hours, my stress levels skyrocketed.

The support options were limited—no chat, and the phone lines were unavailable due to the time zone difference. My only hope was email, so I sent a message and crossed my fingers. To my surprise, I received a response outside of business hours, providing me with a local number to call. When I connected, the support agent ran tests and confirmed that everything seemed fine on their end but couldn’t pinpoint the verification issue. They promised to call back within an hour with a solution and assured me that if the problem persisted, they would allow me to reschedule for free.

An hour later, the agent called back with a workaround they’d found on a forum—a solution not listed in their manual but shared by other users. I followed the instructions, and it worked. The agent had gone above and beyond, researching on their own time to help me. Their empathy and persistence helped me stay calm, resolve the issue, and take my exam as scheduled.

Quick to Acknowledge, Slow to Act: A Notes App Saga

Let’s talk about good intentions without follow-through. I use a popular notes app to organize my life. One day, I had a “Eureka!” moment for a feature that could streamline my workflow. After finding no mention of the idea in the app store or forums, I discovered an option to email feature requests directly. Excited, I sent a detailed message explaining how this feature could benefit users.

A week later, I received an encouraging reply, thanking me for the suggestion and promising to look into it. Months passed, and I’d almost forgotten about it—until a recent app update disabled the workarounds I’d been using to compensate for the missing feature. When I followed up, my email bounced. Reaching out to customer support, I learned that the feature request team had been disbanded.

It made me wonder—companies offer bug bounty programs to reward users for identifying issues, so why not have a similar system for feature suggestions that improve user experience? Despite the initial positive response, this experience left me feeling like my voice wasn’t valued in the long run.

Conclusion: The Power of Empathy in Customer Experiences

These stories show that interactions with products rely on more than just technology and processes. Moments where empathy bridges the gaps stand out, transforming routine experiences into memorable ones. Brands that prioritize empathy cultivate deeper loyalty and turn customers into advocates—often with minimal marketing effort.

Empathy doesn’t just close gaps; it expands the potential of what a product or service can achieve.

"Loyal customers, they don’t just come back, they don’t simply recommend you, they insist that their friends do business with you." — Chip Bell

Reflect on your own experiences. Have you ever encountered a brand that went above and beyond, showing genuine empathy? Imagine the impact if more companies followed suit. Feel free to share in the comments such experiences.

Stay tuned for my next article, where I’ll explore how empathy can be measured and tracked using KPIs, helping businesses realize its true value.