DECLARING INTERNATIONAL CRY WEEK

During the school holidays my 10 year old son had a national football tournament in Christchurch representing the local academy he trains with in Queenstown.?They did really well.?Teams from both north and south islands, Auckland to Dunedin.?Christchurch United Football Club facilities are absolutely amazing!

Hundreds of parents and children there.?It was really emotional at times.?Competition was high, along with expectation.?I noticed the general message from adults (coaches and parents alike) when the kids were disappointed and sad for whatever reason was:?

DON’T CRY!

It’s natural to shed tears.?Why suppress that??Why not live authentically in that moment.?Kudos and huge congrats to the New Zealand Woman’s rugby 7’s for shedding tears of joy at the Olympics over the weekend!?Great role modelling for our youth.?Tears serve the human body in many ways, for a reason.

?In addition, I took my son to an appointment with a nurse before the tournament.?He had a wart burnt off.?I had a tetanus boost at the same time.?Said nurse was lovely however I found myself challenging her message and language: “look how brave your mum is.?She’s not scared.”?I took the opportunity to say to my son:

“it’s ok to feel scared.?And it’s ok to cry if you want to”.?I shared with the nurse that it’s critical to mental health advocacy moving forward that we avoid suppressing people’s emotions, especially children.?When we do this it carries on into adult life with an expectation to hide our authentic feelings.?I was never allowed to show my true feelings as a child.?That's damaging! We need to show our feelings (of isolation and vulnerability) and promote this culture across all (sports) and life platforms, to appropriate levels, in line with individual circumstance.

How about we practice trying something new this week as a LinkedIn community??If you see someone upset say “have a bloody good cry if you feel like it”.?Don’t judge, don’t say anything else, just let that person express their emotions. Hold that space regardless of how it makes YOU feel.?Thank them afterwards for being themselves. Or if YOU feel sad and upset tell others share that with someone: "I'm going to have a good cry now". Thank whoever is holding space for you after: "thanks for not judging me". We need to change as a community if we want poor mental health statistics to lessen. There are SO many amazing free resources available in NZ eg. 1737, (or the Samaritans is in 38 countries worldwide) if you or someone you know are sad/distressed/struggling. If you can't hold space for each other...you can find someone who can.

Thank you for reading.?

Mel

#emotion #authenticity #crying #connect #care