Decision-Making Avoidance or Control: How Trauma Could Be Affecting Your Leadership (Part 3)

Part 3 of an eight part series. This series is written specifically to women but can be impactful for anyone.

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As a woman leader, your ability to make timely, informed decisions is a critical part of your role. However, if you've experienced trauma, you may find that decision-making isn't always straightforward. Perhaps you find yourself overthinking, avoiding decisions altogether, or feeling an overwhelming need to control every detail. These behaviors may not just be about your leadership style—they could be rooted in unresolved trauma. Let's explore how trauma can affect decision-making, the signs to look for, and how you can regain balance and confidence in your leadership.

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How Trauma Impacts Decision-Making

Trauma alters how your brain processes stress and risk, which can directly affect decision-making. ?

For women leaders, past trauma can manifest in two primary ways:

- Avoidance: You may struggle with making decisions, especially those that feel high-stakes or involve conflict. Trauma often triggers a "freeze" response, where decision-making feels paralyzing, leading to avoidance or procrastination.

- Control: On the other hand, trauma can drive a need for excessive control. If you’ve experienced situations in the past where you felt powerless, you may find yourself micromanaging or needing to control every aspect of your work. This gives the illusion of safety but can stifle both your leadership effectiveness and your team's autonomy.

In both cases, the trauma response overrides your rational decision-making process. Instead of confidently navigating leadership challenges, you may either delay decisions or attempt to manage every detail in an effort to regain a sense of control.

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Signs of Decision-Making Avoidance in Leadership?

If you're wondering whether trauma may be causing you to avoid decisions, here are some common signs to look out for:?

1. Procrastination on Key Decisions: Do you find yourself putting off important decisions, waiting until the last possible moment, or hoping issues will resolve themselves? Avoidance often stems from a fear of making the "wrong" choice, which can paralyze your decision-making process.

2. Fear of Conflict or Rejection: Are you hesitant to make decisions that could cause conflict or pushback from others? Trauma can make the idea of confrontation or negative feedback feel overwhelming, causing you to avoid situations where disagreement is likely.

3. Overreliance on Others for Decisions: Do you find yourself deferring to others, even when you're the one expected to lead? Trauma may make you second-guess your instincts, leading you to rely too heavily on others to make decisions for you.?

While decision avoidance might seem like a protective mechanism, it often results in missed opportunities and the accumulation of unresolved issues that can hinder both your leadership and your team’s progress.

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Signs of Excessive Control in Leadership

For some leaders, trauma leads to the opposite behavior—excessive control over decisions. Here are signs that you might be struggling with control-driven decision-making:

1. Micromanaging: Do you feel the need to control every aspect of your team's work, no matter how small? Micromanaging often stems from a fear of things going wrong if you don’t maintain tight oversight, a direct result of trauma-induced hypervigilance.

2. Overanalyzing Every Decision: Do you get caught up in the details, overthinking decisions to the point of exhaustion? This overanalysis is often a way to avoid risk or uncertainty, which can feel unsafe to trauma-impacted leaders.?

3. Inflexibility: Are you rigid in your decisions and unwilling to adapt when new information arises? Trauma can make flexibility feel threatening, as it requires letting go of control and trusting in the unknown.

While being detail-oriented can be a strength in leadership, excessive control can stifle innovation, reduce team autonomy, and prevent you from delegating effectively.

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The Underlying Connection Between Trauma and Decision-Making

The root of both decision-making avoidance and control lies in the way trauma affects your brain. When you experience trauma, your amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for detecting threats) becomes hyperactive, constantly scanning for danger. This leaves you in a heightened state of alertness, where decisions that feel risky—whether emotionally or professionally—trigger a fear response.

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Simultaneously, trauma impacts the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for higher-level decision-making and emotional regulation. When trauma is unresolved, this part of the brain doesn’t function as effectively, making it difficult to think clearly, weigh options, or manage complex situations without feeling overwhelmed.

For women leaders, especially those in high-stress environments, trauma can exacerbate the pressure to perform, leading to either avoidance or control as a means of coping with uncertainty and fear.

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Strategies for Managing Trauma-Driven Decision-Making Patterns

The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in these patterns. Trauma-informed leadership coaching offers tools and techniques that can help you navigate these challenges and reclaim your decision-making confidence.

1. Self-Awareness and Recognition: The first step to overcoming decision-making avoidance or control is to recognize when it’s happening. Ask yourself: Am I avoiding a decision because I fear the outcome? Am I overanalyzing or trying to control every detail? Developing self-awareness allows you to pause and assess your responses before they dictate your actions.?

2. Grounding Techniques: When trauma triggers your nervous system, grounding techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness can help you stay present and calm your body's stress response. This allows your prefrontal cortex to regain control, helping you think clearly and make decisions without being overwhelmed by fear.?

3. Set Boundaries for Decision-Making: If you’re prone to control, setting time limits for decision-making can help you avoid overanalyzing. Give yourself a deadline and trust your instincts. For those struggling with avoidance, set smaller, incremental decisions that feel more manageable rather than tackling everything at once.?

4. Delegate and Trust Your Team: For leaders who lean towards control, practicing delegation is key. Start small by entrusting a few tasks to your team and remind yourself that letting go of control doesn’t mean sacrificing quality. This allows you to focus on larger strategic decisions and fosters a sense of autonomy and trust within your team.

5. Trauma-Informed Coaching: Working with a trauma-informed leadership coach can help you unpack the deeper issues behind your decision-making patterns. Through coaching, you can develop strategies for managing these patterns, while learning how to navigate leadership challenges with greater ease and confidence.

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How Healing Leads to Stronger Leadership

When you address trauma and its impact on your decision-making, you open the door to more empowered, effective leadership. Instead of letting fear or control guide your actions, you can lead with clarity, confidence, and a sense of balance. Trauma-informed leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about learning to manage the emotional and psychological influences that shape how you lead.

?By understanding and addressing how trauma impacts your decision-making, you can reclaim your power as a leader, build trust with your team, and create a leadership style that’s rooted in resilience and authenticity.

Trauma can deeply affect how you approach decisions, either through avoidance or a need for control. However, by recognizing these patterns and developing tools to manage them, you can break free from trauma’s hold on your leadership. Trauma-informed coaching can help you regain your decision-making confidence, empowering you to lead with clarity, empathy, and trust.

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If you’re ready to explore how trauma-informed coaching can help you improve your decision-making and leadership, contact us for a discovery session.