Decide Every Week To Not Do This Thing
In 1985,?Charles Hummel wrote?a pamphlet suggesting that most people’s lives are ruled by things that are urgent. He added that most people don’t do enough of the things that have delayed gratification because there “isn’t time” or they “couldn’t get to it.”?
Like for the past three weeks I’ve been trying to do yard work that will pay off next spring…but something else always manages to supersede it.?
The issue with this reality is that?most people don’t do enough of what ultimately matters the most to them. Things like:
In fact, most of the time,?most people will choose to do the thing that’s urgent over the thing that’s important.
Given the choice between having a difficult conversation with a teammate and responding to a few more emails, most people will do email.?
If presented with an opportunity to take time off of work for self-improvement and networking, most people will opt to just keep their heads down and continue working.
When tempted by the option of eating something already available but not so healthy or preparing a nutritious meal, most will go with the quicker food.
Why Do We Choose the Urgent Over the Important?
Several factors push us to address what’s right in front of us, including:
The Number 1 Thing to Not Do to Escape the Tyranny
Recently I’ve been doing a weekly review of my to-do list to reclassify items as “To-Don’ts.”
To-Don’ts are urgent ideas/requests that I’ve rationalized attending to but might actually be self-sabotage, self-imposition, or only on the list because they happen to be visible or there’s seemingly no one else to do them.?
Reclassifying things I’ve already decided to do requires interrogating each to-do for a moment to ask?why are you there on my list and do you really need to be?
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Perhaps you could try this too.
You can choose to:
You might even need to:
The longer I’m in leadership, the more aware I am that my impact depends upon my ability to disappoint people, decline opportunities, and determine a better way forward.?
You and I have limits. We either live within them or get tyrannized by them.
Reclassifying to-dos to to-don’ts is a way of opposing the tyranny, breaking free from the self-sabotaging, self-imposing, overly obvious, unnecessary tasks that you and I too often do.?
The bottom line: Every week, decide to not do urgent activities that aren’t as important as your anxious mind might have rationalized them to be.
Make a list every week of To-Don’ts, and bit-by-bit you’ll make progress toward what ultimately matters most.
What are you going to remove from your list today?
Patterns are Inevitable. Growth is Optional. Check out my award-winning book Four Patterns of Healthy People to become more aware of the healthy and unhealthy patterns in your thoughts, relationships, ego, and daily operations.
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About the Author. Matt Norman coaches and advises executives on how to build great people and culture. He is President & CEO of Norman & Associates, which offers custom coaching and consulting in the areas of talent strategy, personal effectiveness, planning, and goal alignment. Norman & Associates also provides Dale Carnegie cohort-style action learning programs to help people improve how they communicate, lead, influence, and work together.
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2 年Great article Matt Norman. One thing that quickly comes to mind is our immediate reaction to when our phone bings (e.g. text, email, etc). We have been programmed to jump and respond vs “staying where we are”. We need to do a better job giving people our full attention vs the phone to strengthen relationships and engage in the physical interactions. #BeHere