The Deception of Emotions

It feels terrible to be lied to. When you learn that you have been deceived you get that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. The room might even begin to spin. The whole world seems untrue.

I need you to brace yourself because I have some shocking news for you. It is very possible that you have been deceiving yourself. You may not actually feel the way you think you feel. Well, you feel that way, but maybe not for good reasons.

Affective neuroscience is the field of studying how the brain processes emotions. Lisa Feldman Barrett is one of the leading researchers in that field. In her book, How Emotions Are Made, she proposed that emotions are not reactions to the actual world but your constructions of the world. This is because there is way too much information coming in for the brain to process. So instead, the brain is simulating, guessing and predicting what is happening ahead of time. It is not actually sorting every piece of information.

According to Barrett, “Your brain uses your past experiences to construct a hypothesis – the simulation – and compares it to the cacophony arriving from your senses. In this manner, simulation lets your brain impose meaning on the noise, selecting what’s relevant and ignoring the rest.”

So, the brain is looking at what is happening around you and predicting what emotions you should be feeling based on the past, assuming this situation is similar to the past. The problem is that we are wired for negativity. When hypothesizing, we are more likely to assume the worst. Which can cause us to have negative emotions more often than pleasant emotions.

Positive psychologist, Martin Seligman, said, “We learn not by storing static records but by continually retouching memories and imagining future possibilities.” He adds, “Our emotions are less reactions to the present than guides to future behavior.”

If you find yourself being reactive to situations around you and your emotions are responsive in kind, recognize the fact that they are filling in gaps with predictive rather than actual information.

Pause. Be mindful. Take time to allow your emotions to catch up with the actual facts rather than neurological hypotheses.

Responding from reality rather than fiction is a more mature and wiser, as well as much safer, behavior. You will feel better responding from the truth. Even if it was yourself who deceived you in the first place.

David B. McLaughlin is the founder of Pendulum Coaching, LLC and host of the podcast,?The Mindful Leader.?David is a popular speaker and coach on mindfulness and emotional intelligence. You can learn more at?pendulumcoaching.com?and sign up for his weekly email newsletter. But wait, there’s more! He also made a blues album that is available on all streaming platforms!?Find out more at?thatsfantasticentertainment.com.??